Today, my girlfriend of two years and I decided to have sex for the first time. When we were in the room, finally ready to start, she confessed that she had never seen a penis before. To make her more comfortable, I showed her mine. At the sight of it, well, she actually fainted. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, it was the first time I was about to have sex with my girlfriend of 3 years, since I'm self-conscious about my size. When she saw it, she started laughing. She was mad I didn't want to continue. FML
Today, I went all the way for the first time with my girlfriend. After I had finished, she asked me, "What just happened? Was that sex?" I wasn't sure either. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were about to have sex for the first time. We are both virgins. After we kissed and I took down my pants, she screamed and said "That THING is going to break me." We never did it. FML
Today, I was making out with my girlfriend for the first time, and she reached down to feel me up. When her hands got there, she stopped and said, "You're not even hard..." I was. FML
Today, as my girlfriend and I were making out, I slowly took my clothes off and revealed my body to her for the first time. She looked, smiled, and said reassuringly, "Aww, don't worry. I know how it's supposed to look." FML
Today, I was fooling around with my girlfriend for the first time. She put her hand on my cock over my jeans and said, "Get hard for me." I was hard. FML
Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend for the first time. When I took my underwear off, she looked at my penis, snorted, and covered her mouth. She claimed that her "allergies" were flaring and we have to wait until they clear up. FML
Today, while I was having sex with my girlfriend, I was struck with a white-hot pain, and in the confusion thought her vagina had contracted hard. It turned out it was actually my uncircumcised penis retracting for the first time in my life. FML
Today, I finally got intimate with my girlfriend, the girl of my dreams. I undressed and, ready to step in bed with her, I see her staring at 'it'. Which was quickly followed by laughter. FML
Today, my girlfriend gave me my first ever blowjob. It felt like she was skinning my dick alive with her teeth. I had to pretend to finish myself off in the bathroom and tell her it was because I didn't want her to have to swallow. FML
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Top comments
irishfever 0
not sure how to interpret this one.... haha that sucks it sounds like she's not ready... don't pressure her
kwbuzz23wk 0
sounds like a compliment
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Comments (437)
LilleyWhite 0
take it as a compliment that yours was so huge...or maybe too small...
Nice_Dreams 0
what are you ten years old? she fainted cause she had never seen balls so F***ing Big and Blue!! two years and no sex! I bet she is getting it somewhere, listen I hate to tell you this but its time to LEAVE HER ASS!! run and find something new! have some fun! and try this no sex in three dates!! move-on. And remember "SOME WILL, SOME WANT, SO WHAT NEXT!" OH MY GOD YOU GAY!
reyoasian 0
i think the actual FYL part is the "Today, my girlfriend of 2 years and I decided to have sex for the first time."
CrossY 0
2 years? Wow, amazing. I'd have a fullblown boner each time I was laying next to her or kissing her, how did you do it man? She never wondered what was pinching her below the belt? So many questions... FYL for having to wait 2 years, and when she's sorta ready she faints at the sight of it xD
spaztasticMiMi 0
lmao!!! looks like you need to show her a bunch of **** first then try that
PredyJessica 0
this isn't real!
babiic63 0
wow!! wat happened after???
pmzz678 0
YDI for jumping from first base to home plate in one go
peopleplz2008 0
wouldn't she have seen it anyways?
shilo_wallace 0
Lmao aw. Give her some time, she'll come around