By fuck em all - 27/09/2018 14:00

Today, my entire family is giving me the cold shoulder, including my parents, for not going to my sister's wedding. No one seems to care her new husband bullied me so badly in high school that I still need medication for my anxiety 15 years after graduating. FML
I agree, your life sucks 4 746
You deserved it 415

Same thing different taste

Top comments

Go. Show him he doesn’t have control anymore. Or just give a speech. How much you love your sister and how well you know the groom. Then list all the horrible things he did to the whole room.

Sometimes you have to remove yourself from toxic situations- especially if you’re not getting support from your parents. Maybe time for a move?


Go. Show him he doesn’t have control anymore. Or just give a speech. How much you love your sister and how well you know the groom. Then list all the horrible things he did to the whole room.

We were all young and dumb once, maybe he is sorry and doesnt do that kind of stuff anymore

That’s just juvenile and classless. He should pop his pills, go to support his sister and hey, maybe the groom has grown up and they can get along! It’s actually a decently common occurrence But you’re suggestion is pitiful and would make everything worse. Granted I’m not a great authority on this subject because I don’t understand how people get so traumatized and stay so traumatized for so long especially when it’s bullying in school. Either way, he SHOULD NOT do what you said.

33 year old Male still suffering from bullying encounters 15 years ago, man up pussy. What kind of a grown man are you?

I wasnt actually, I usually stopped the bullying when I saw it.

Gamessence 19

:] Cant wait until some shit happens to you like a death in the family, then someone tells you to man up you lil bitch.

How is death in the family and bullying from 15 years ago the same thing? I've had deaths in the family and I didnt get anxiety from it, I was sad for a few days and moved on.

A real man who isn’t numb because feelings aren’t “manly.”

Real men do have feelings and show emotion. But real men arent ******* over school bullying from 15 years ago. Man up, grow up and get over it

@thelittlem totally downvotes you cuz the website didn’t show you were replying, but I actually totally agree

The_candyman 13

I dont understand why people are so mad. your bailing on your family for something that happened so long ago. so I want to know how long does he have? at 80 can he still blame the bully? wheres the line and why are we assholes because our line is much lower then 15 years.

Because the world is filled with soft skinned pansies now that get their feelings hurt and need to run to their safe space

Mungolikecandy 19

People can have their confidence destroyed by persistent bullying and some even kill themselves years later as a result. Wolke and Leske carried out a study which showed that bullying was a major risk factor for poor physical and mental health and reduced adaptation to adult roles including forming lasting relationships, integrating into work and being economically independent.

Yeah, then you become an adult and get over it. There is no reason a grown man should act like that from school bullying 15 years ago.

I was bullied in school and I agree this guy should man-up. Get over it. Be a man.

Sometimes you have to remove yourself from toxic situations- especially if you’re not getting support from your parents. Maybe time for a move?

You can either embrace the "****'em all" mentality that your screen name implies, or you can maintain grudges... You cannot have both. You choose where your value you lies. You choose where the power in your life is. Many people do not like this reality and they argue against it because they cannot control their initial feelings (aka the anxiety reaction you feel) but the reality is, if the medication is effective treatment, you'd have been more than able to attend the wedding and honor your sister as your sister. You are not the one marrying him, you're not attending the wedding on his behalf. You are choosing to hold a person accountable for someone they were 15 years ago; a lot of things can change in that amount of time. While I understand having emotional PTSD, we all have that to a certain extent (and some more severe than others), one can presume you're at least 30 or so, and completely capable of managing yourself for a few hours. For all you know, you just robbed yourself the ability to obtain the closure and apology that you needed for emotional wellness, which ultimately resulted in MORE emotional baggage, suffering and drama. You continue to empower the bully. It's hard to say whether you deserve it or not, because to know that we'd have to know how you discussed it, but it certainly sounds like you approached this selfishly... I'd say you deserve the cold shoulder treatment for putting your inability to handle your emotional wellness over your sister's wedding. (yes I know this is an essay) I mean, c'mon... The wedding day is NOT the day to make a stand about her choice. You've had the entire time they were dating to have the discussion about the past with your sister, to try and make amends with her to-be-husband, to communicate whatever it is that you needed. Presumably, you did not. This is on you man, no one else.

Amusing how you write an entire piece on how it is OP's choice, yet in the same text claim there is only one (right) option. You can't have it both ways. Either it is a choice and not up to you to judge how someone else chooses to handle this, or it isn't and you can't put it on OP. Don't make the (somewhat arrogant) assumption your beliefs are the right ones for everyone else as well.

Do you think you’re helping anything by picking them apart? Get it together.

Mathalamus 24

I recommend that you go anyway. Be a grown man and realize there will be bullies everywhere and you cannot hope to avoid them all. You will never be able to avoid him, after all. Also, not going might make him bully you more, for being an incredibly bad brother. As well as pissing everyone else off, for the bad reason you are using.

davek 36

Take your pills, go to the wedding, and make a speech. Preferably at the "If anyone knows why these people may not be joined in matrimony, speak now or forever hold your peace" bit, if they have that where you are.

Wow. Did your family know this guy bullied you relentlessly? Do they know how bad it is even now? What kind of woman marries her sibling's bully? It's too bad you couldn't have gone to the wedding and outed him as a bully, and you don't want him in your family. And chances are he will abuse your sister; it's just a matter of time.

You were right in not going. Why your fucktard sister married a useless shitbag goes beyond common sense. Why make yourself crazy for your sister that has shitty taste in men. Your family sucks, They are taking sides (his). All these people telling you to be the better are idiots. You are suffering from PTSD. There is no need to put yourself thru more crap just to make your sister happy. If you didn't want to go because of something petty I would have said get over it... But you did the right thing... Bullies will always be bullies.

Go anyway and if he come near you break his jaw and hate **** him with a beer bottle. I no longer have any fear for my old high school bullies (5 years of mma) but hate? Oh I have lots of that. Don’t really give a ***** **** about him growing up or not.

You have to suck it up and go to the wedding for your family’s sake. Avoid the bully.