Today, my girlfriend of two years and I decided to have sex for the first time. When we were in the room, finally ready to start, she confessed that she had never seen a penis before. To make her more comfortable, I showed her mine. At the sight of it, well, she actually fainted. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, it was the first time I was about to have sex with my girlfriend of 3 years, since I'm self-conscious about my size. When she saw it, she started laughing. She was mad I didn't want to continue. FML
Today, I went all the way for the first time with my girlfriend. After I had finished, she asked me, "What just happened? Was that sex?" I wasn't sure either. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were about to have sex for the first time. We are both virgins. After we kissed and I took down my pants, she screamed and said "That THING is going to break me." We never did it. FML
Today, I was making out with my girlfriend for the first time, and she reached down to feel me up. When her hands got there, she stopped and said, "You're not even hard..." I was. FML
Today, as my girlfriend and I were making out, I slowly took my clothes off and revealed my body to her for the first time. She looked, smiled, and said reassuringly, "Aww, don't worry. I know how it's supposed to look." FML
Today, I was fooling around with my girlfriend for the first time. She put her hand on my cock over my jeans and said, "Get hard for me." I was hard. FML
Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend for the first time. When I took my underwear off, she looked at my penis, snorted, and covered her mouth. She claimed that her "allergies" were flaring and we have to wait until they clear up. FML
Today, while I was having sex with my girlfriend, I was struck with a white-hot pain, and in the confusion thought her vagina had contracted hard. It turned out it was actually my uncircumcised penis retracting for the first time in my life. FML
Today, I finally got intimate with my girlfriend, the girl of my dreams. I undressed and, ready to step in bed with her, I see her staring at 'it'. Which was quickly followed by laughter. FML
Today, my girlfriend gave me my first ever blowjob. It felt like she was skinning my dick alive with her teeth. I had to pretend to finish myself off in the bathroom and tell her it was because I didn't want her to have to swallow. FML
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Top comments
irishfever 0
not sure how to interpret this one.... haha that sucks it sounds like she's not ready... don't pressure her
kwbuzz23wk 0
sounds like a compliment
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Comments (437)
24788 7
You must be huge!
xPLDxPunisher 0
Wait. She fainted.... I fail to see a problem here. lol jk jk. I fail to have any advice for this.
AnaMaree 0
Good job! It was probably massive!
amykillswitch 0
sooo did you get layed or what? you can't leave these details out. come on.
Satoyuki 0
Your package must be amazing.
pleasetryagain 0
I did not know that people as a whole thought penises were ugly. This is quite the revelation. Do the same people think that the ****** looks nice? I can't believe the number of people who are so upset by seeing people in their natural state.
THC_fml 0
Haha, that's hilarious! Don't feel too bad though, all reproductive organs (be it male, female, dog, cat, etc) are gross.
shmaller 0
#85 = ******* god!
EasilyUnamused 2
I don't get it...I'm 18 and I've never seen a penis and I won't see one until I'm married. There's this thing out there called "saving yourself" either for someone really special or your spouse. Not that crazy of a concept really. Abstinence FTW
rednaxela_fml 0
How could you have never seen your boyfriend's penis in two years???