Today, my girlfriend of two years and I decided to have sex for the first time. When we were in the room, finally ready to start, she confessed that she had never seen a penis before. To make her more comfortable, I showed her mine. At the sight of it, well, she actually fainted. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, it was the first time I was about to have sex with my girlfriend of 3 years, since I'm self-conscious about my size. When she saw it, she started laughing. She was mad I didn't want to continue. FML
Today, I went all the way for the first time with my girlfriend. After I had finished, she asked me, "What just happened? Was that sex?" I wasn't sure either. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were about to have sex for the first time. We are both virgins. After we kissed and I took down my pants, she screamed and said "That THING is going to break me." We never did it. FML
Today, I was making out with my girlfriend for the first time, and she reached down to feel me up. When her hands got there, she stopped and said, "You're not even hard..." I was. FML
Today, as my girlfriend and I were making out, I slowly took my clothes off and revealed my body to her for the first time. She looked, smiled, and said reassuringly, "Aww, don't worry. I know how it's supposed to look." FML
Today, I was fooling around with my girlfriend for the first time. She put her hand on my cock over my jeans and said, "Get hard for me." I was hard. FML
Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend for the first time. When I took my underwear off, she looked at my penis, snorted, and covered her mouth. She claimed that her "allergies" were flaring and we have to wait until they clear up. FML
Today, while I was having sex with my girlfriend, I was struck with a white-hot pain, and in the confusion thought her vagina had contracted hard. It turned out it was actually my uncircumcised penis retracting for the first time in my life. FML
Today, I finally got intimate with my girlfriend, the girl of my dreams. I undressed and, ready to step in bed with her, I see her staring at 'it'. Which was quickly followed by laughter. FML
Today, my girlfriend gave me my first ever blowjob. It felt like she was skinning my dick alive with her teeth. I had to pretend to finish myself off in the bathroom and tell her it was because I didn't want her to have to swallow. FML
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Top comments
irishfever 0
not sure how to interpret this one.... haha that sucks it sounds like she's not ready... don't pressure her
kwbuzz23wk 0
sounds like a compliment
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Comments (437)
o76923 8
The kids were under 14 when they started dating. Their parents didn't give them enough freedom that they could reasonably look at ****. They were popular enough to hang out with the cool kids, but not attractive enough that anyone would sleep with them. And because they're in Texas they never received any human biology or sex-ed beyond "sex is ok as long as there's exactly one dude and one or more chicks, but only during marriage". As a result, it never occured to them to try anything other than vaginal intercourse. Alternatively, fake.
monicamischief 0
i don't know any kid who wasn't sneaky enough to look at ****. and i suppose the 14 thing could have been true. but even so, they still should have had sex after two years, jesus. and 14 year old relationships hardly ever last two years anyway. actually, it might be fake. some kid just wants to feel good about his penis. wouldn't be the first time. i can't imagine someone actually FAINTING over a penis anyway.
JackDupp 11
i'm guessing a BJ ain't happening anytime soon
Egg_Shen 0
Fake! How could you be with her for 2 years, and you've NEVER seen each other naked? And even if that were true, you then decide to skip all other physicality and just go for sex? NO WAY
BiggLJ 0
I dunno how people can expect him not to have sex with her. So what if she's unconscious, she was gonna do it anyway. What else is he gonna do? He probably scheduled his day around this. Plus if she can't talk you can do whatever you want to her with no complaints.
vag_fml 0
BiggLJ--Shut up, you're a total tool. LAME.
were_giraffe 2
so wait a minute..... doesn't that mean your size impressed her? which would be a good thing right? =)
snoosnoo 1
I don't think it's that surprising that the girl hasn't seen a penis before. The OP might be from a conservative society where abstinence only sex ed is taught and nude art is censored. I know it's definitely like that where I'm from =/.
ConnerFoSho 0
BiggLJ... Thats sad. You want them asleep to get some? Wtf.. Thats not normal
EziyaMinamoto 0
It's great that you waited, but you shouldn't try to jump into things....give it some more time, and gradually progress.