By Janie - 10/01/2012 05:52 - United States

Today, my boyfriend changed his relationship status on Facebook to "Single" and his status to "I'm not kidding, leave your key on the counter." FML
I agree, your life sucks 42 469
You deserved it 4 003

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Chage your relationship to "Single" as well, and then as a status write "The key is on the counter, along with your penis enlargement pills. Going to feel what a real man is like. Your brother says "hi"." FYL though. Better off without a tosser like him.

Lol? Pussy was too cowardly to do it face to face? You deserve better

Comments

Bad romance? Facebook'd?

Nope. Just a cowardly douchebag of a (now) ex-boyfriend. OP, don't even bother with this immature fool. Not worth your time at all.

I agree with 4. If someone is enough of a pussy to break up over computers or texting, they deserve to be forever alone. Op you will find love somewhere, and I hope things get better.

Keep the key, ruin whatever other relationship he's having.

#24 - No. If OP were to do that, she would be just as immature as her ex. She should be the bigger person here and try her best to move on from him. Period.

#17 alone forever is a little harsh don't you think? For all we know OP could've been cheating on her boyfriend for years. he probably was to pussy to say it to her face so he did what any cowardly man would do...from a distance

That's why I stay away from the main social networks...what happened to doing things face to face?

The way op's bf phrased the status makes it sound like he's tried to break up with her before and she didn't believe him. I vote op is a class 5 stalker in denial over the bf being a cowardly douche.

61 - Exactly. Everyone immediately takes the OP's side, but we never know. She probably cheated on him or she's just fucking annoying.

121 Agree. If someone were doing this as an act of cowardice it wouldn't be so blunt and rude. Sounds like she did something and his response was to do it in the most disrespectful public way he could think of...Or maybe hes just a douche. We will never really know for sure...

Actually, the way the OP phrased it made me think he knew that people change their facebook status as jokes/it might look like a friend got onto his facebook and changed it (because, you know, he was too much of a PUSSY to talk to her on the phone/face-to-face) therefore, he said he wasn't kidding. Context.Context.Context.

Lol? Pussy was too cowardly to do it face to face? You deserve better

Is it weird that I imitated the fat butcher from "wanted" while typing out this post? "here pussy pussy pussy pussy... Here pussy pussy pussy pussy..." *and then knifed op's ex-boyfriend to pieces from the back, then disappears*

Yes, it is weird.

Very weird. Or at least esoteric

Oh yeah since a certain someone is not on fml right now, I shall help him type in his usual line: "MAN CARD FUCKING REVOKED"

Yeah, I agree, unless she didn't deserve the time of day. (ex. op's ex didn't want to hear a dumb excuse as to why op cheated on him.)

I think he wanted to avoid the whole crying part and just skip through to the "i hate you get away from me" part.

That's what she said.

52: No, just no.

Wow what a jerk! Sorry OP

OP should make a copy of the key and trash the boyz house :)

What a jerk. You deserve better...

Least he didn't finish with: "... And give me back the ruby ring with the big diamond"

Why shouldn't a girl give that back? Ive thought about it long and hard, does it really make sense for people to keep their wedding rings or engagement rings after their relationship falls apart?

Who the fuck is too pussy to break up face to face what a dick

She deserves far worse. Has it ever occurred to you that maybe she is so abrasive that he does not want to listen to her shrill voice as she falls apart from being dumped?

#139 you should still man up and do it face to face not on Facebook that's just stupid

What a douchebag. Tell him to man up for once and not be such a keyboard warrior. I'm sorry OP, you deserve better and will find someone better. Unless of course you did something extremely horrible to deserve what he did.

Haha, keyboard warrior. Reminds me of when I played WoW.

there is no excuse for that. what a pussy

Unless OP is literally a murderous psychopath with extreme anger management problems who always carries a switchblade.

Even then just make a phone call. Don't do it publicly.

Pentium_4... Ur hot

I'm a crazy psychopath that carries s knife everywhere o.O u got something against me?? Haha I'm kidding about the question :)

87 Publicly is your best chance of surviving...If nobody else knows then she may try to keep it that way...

Does everyone resort to Facebook for everything now days? Damn!

Makes shit official

What's the link?

Ha ha ha, Zackenberg is a freaking GENIUS.

Looks like we have another asshole here...

Or just an idiot

All he did was tell the truth. The guy is a genius lol

Chage your relationship to "Single" as well, and then as a status write "The key is on the counter, along with your penis enlargement pills. Going to feel what a real man is like. Your brother says "hi"." FYL though. Better off without a tosser like him.

Tossed? And yeah tell it like "no strings attached" is!

That just made my day!!! Hahaha

That is the absolute best revenge ever

Excellent comeback.

Hahaha! Brilliant! Such a good comeback

Lol that is if he's still friends on facebook with her.

This is probably the greatest comment in response to and FML I've ever read! Lol