Today, my husband and I caught our 12-year-old son "experimenting" with a 5-foot tall stuffed Mickey Mouse. He even made sure to rip Mickey's pants off. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I walked in on my 14-year-old son apparently practicing his oral sex skills on the crotch of one of his sister's Barbie dolls. FML
Today, I walked in on my teenage son passionately making out with one of his sister's Barbie dolls. FML
Today, my five year old son decided to move all my stuffed animals I have around the house, into sex positions and massive orgies. What have I been teaching my son lately? FML
Today, my 2-year-old told me he found a new finger puppet. It was a used condom. FML
Today, I took my family to Disneyland. My husband had more fun than my five year-old daughter. He was hitting on the princesses. FML
Today, I found my favorite stuffed animal I had as a child in the trash bin. I took it out to find that it felt wet and smelt funny. Apparently, my younger brother cut a hole in the butt of it and used it to masturbate. FML
Today, I found my 5-year-old son prancing around in high heels and cat ears, wearing a thong as a necklace, and waving a riding crop around like a sword. He'd found the box where granny keeps her special outfits that make granddad extra happy on Friday nights. FML
Today, while we had my husband's boss over, my 3-year-old son decided to burst into the living room naked and yell, "Mum, look! Penis!" and wiggle it around. FML
Today, while on a family Disney World vacation, I saw a kid shitting on a public bathroom floor. It was my kid. He's 10. FML
Today, I had mice in the house and had to kill them with mousetraps. I pulled a trap out with a dead mouse and my four year-old son saw. Mice are his favorite animals, and now he won’t speak to me. FML
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Top comments
loserman67 36
So he slipped Mickey his "Minnie"?
mattzawesome 28
I don't think I can look at Mickey Mouse the same way anymore...
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Comments (101)
reeper147 14
I've seen worse. Hell there are videos of people strapping strap ons on winnie the pooh and using him that way sooooo........ Internet?
TabooSushi 24
As others have said: Just talk to the boy, let him know he isn't in trouble for simply acting on a natural urge (because hey, it may have been an odd choice, but at least a stuffed Mickey Mouse won't get pregnant or give him a disease), and maybe suggest that in the future he lock his door when he wants some "private time." And for God's sake, get the boy some condoms so he doesn't have to jack it into a stuffed toy, because dear lord that's going to get REAL nasty REAL quick.
Jdlove2 20
I don't think they want to encourage "jacking it"
Dave_Davington 35
Well, if nothing else, that'll be a great story to tell on his 18th birthday party.
DieSowjet 4
Or when he brings his first girlfriend home
Cebolamole 13
Well, next time, knock first.
ChoolyBooly 32
This is so disturbing....I suppose it's time for the sex talk?
allybae1D 14
Give the kid a break. You act like its the worst thing in the world. If he's not getting how things work then he's gotta figure it out on his own and you can't blame him
SadSouthernBell 18
it's better that it's Mickey, than the girl next door
NickACD 27
Talk to your son. Too many parents ignore these incidents and just try to forget them when they should be talking about it with their children.
lalaney 14
What, really? Why humiliate him like that? This isn't something worth talking about. Sex is worth talking about, but why in the hell would you embarrass a kid that age by making him talk about experimenting with a stuffed animal? Seriously, think back to that age. Draw forth the most embarrassing way that you first learned to **********. Now imagine your parents catching you and making you analyze the situation. Blehh!
NickACD 27
Hmm? I don't know, maybe because he needs to know that he knows what he is doing and that he should lock his door.
NickACD 27
If he is humiliated by the incident then he shouldn't be doing it. Also, I never did anything with stuffed animals, that's just creepy. Use a pillow if not your hand at that age.
clair_brodie 35
Using a pillow is really no different than a stuffed animal.
vlalam 24
I guess where he learnt all that from.. any clue?
pjsr 33
Boys don't have to be taught that it feels good to rub up against something
ZoroMiHawk 25
There's no need to make a big deal out of it. Your son is growing up and is going through puberty, it's all natural. Just make sure you talk to your son about practicing safe sex. Whether you like it or not, your son will eventually have sex with a girl. You can threaten him and scare him and leave him uneducated, or you can make sure when he eventually goes to bed with a girl, he will be aware of what STD's are and why wearing a condom is important.