By sophiae123 - 18/01/2015 03:50 - United States - Cadillac
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Well, to be fair, it's your parents house and rules. As long as you're living under their roof, you must abide by their rules. I'm 22 and I have an 11pm curfew Sunday through Thursday unless I'm working. On Friday and Saturday, my curfew is 2am. I follow their rules because I can't afford to live on my own yet.
Adults live on their own and pay bills. I have a 12 pm curfew every night and I'm 22 years old, I respect that because they help me out with school and I live bill-free. I understand that if I want to live by my own rules I should have my own place. I respect parents whom still parent their children regardless of age. That's the way it should be, kudos to your parents!
Wow. Maybe because I had a very different experience, I just couldn't be an adult and have a curfew. I was 18 when I left the house to join the military. When I was 19 and came home for leave for 2 weeks, my mom tried to reinstate my old curfew. I told her no. But I guess that might be different. Idk, my parents never paid my bills so maybe there are different rules. How stifling, though. There's freedom in paying your own way.
I am living pretty much bill free. I have my credit card, my phone, and gas for my car as well as any car maintenance. I am going to a local college while living at home since my school doesn't have dorms. I have that curfew because my dad has to get up early in the mornings and I respect that. I do what's expected of me around the house and my parents and I are happy. I live in Illinois in one of the most expensive cities to live in, so please tell me how I can afford anymore bills working part time, making $8.50/hour while going to college.
I am obviously more of an adult than you are by not making snide comments. My parents pay my way through college because they want me to get a degree. I can't afford to live on my own at the moment because I live in a place where making $8.50 won't make that possible. I do as I'm told, before they even ask me what they want done.
I agree 31. Most people don't realize that the curfew isn't as much for the kid as much as the fact that the parent has to get up early and doesn't want to be woken up at 2 am when their kid comes home. My dad has to get up early for work and has trouble sleeping, as soon as he wakes up he's up and can't go back to sleep. So if I wake him up around 2 it'll either take hours to fall back asleep or he will be up all night. I think adults living with their parents need to respect their parents sleep & rules.
I think rules are fine if they serve a purpose. But when it comes to things like curfews it's really just a power play by your parents to establish dominance. It serves no real function other than to put arbitrary constraints on you. It makes sense for kids, but not for adults. Message to OP. Don't whine too much. I would have gladly accepted a curfew if it meant my parents would pay for school. I have paid for mine all out of my own pocket, but I've had to work 2-3 jobs at a time and only go to school part time just to get by and cover all my own expenses. I've been in and out of school for 7 years now and only have an AA. Be grateful you don't have to take the long road.
My parents already have dominance with or without a curfew since it's their freaking house. I don't mind having a curfew since they are giving me a roof over my head, food, a car, and are funding my college. An adult just does adult-like responsibilities, it doesn't always have to involve said adult living on their own.
103, that's also a very unfair statement. My father has put a curfew on me when I'm home from college, but strangely enough, it's not out of some need to establish dominance. He works for a living (shocker, I know) which is why I have the privilege of living rent-free while I'm there, and also why I can afford to go to school. Part of that work requires that he get up at 5:30 in the morning. All he asks of me in return is that I help around the house occasionally and that I respect his sleep and don't come home at all hours of the night, which would wake him up. This may be hard to accept, but not all parents make rules solely for the purpose of tormenting their children.
Except that's not true. OP may be legally an adult, but she is not on her own. Her parents are paying for her education and she is living in their home, presumably free of charge. If you want independence from the rules of your parents, become financially independent. Don't expect them to feed, shelter, clothe, and educate you for free if you aren't prepared to follow their rules. That would be a huge double standard.
She's home on break, not living there. When I came home on leave from the military, my mom had tried to reinstate my old curfew. I told her no. At the same time, this student is having financial help from her parents for school. Best bet? Tell your parents you'll stay somewhere else while on break. You're 22. Nothing says you have to stay at home on break.
I do think 10pm is a bit unreasonable for an adult. However, they are your parents and they are generously paying for your education as well as housing you, so you must respect their rules. If you did want them to change their minds, perhaps you could try having a frank conversation about why you are responsible enough to stay out past that time. Speak to them like an adult instead of complaining about it like a child.
I agree that 10pm seems a bit unreasonable, but maybe it's set at that time because the parents have to get up early and will lose sleep if the kid is out, or they don't want to be woken up at 2. I've found that a lot of curfews for older kids or young adults are often not just for the kid but that the parents just want a good sleep.
Sadly... Until you move out into your own place you need to live by their rules. I know that sucks for you, but unless they can accept that you're grown up and an adult now, you're gunna have to learn to deal with it. Sorry. :/
Or your parents should respect the fact you're a grown adult and shouldn't have a curfew. I mean 11 pm is kinda early for a 22 yr old..