Today, we got new seats in class today. The guy placed next to me, turned, looked me dead in the eye, and said, "The balls are the warmest place on the body" while his hands were in his pants. I'm stuck next to him for the rest of the semester. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, on the bus, a large smelly man was sat next to me, pushing me against the divider and sliding into me on every turn. When he got up for his stop, his pants had loosened and his bare ass was staring me in the face. FML
Today, we got a new seating arrangement in my science class. I'm now sitting between two people who have spent the last 20 minutes whispering dirty things to one another. FML
Today, we got new seats in my English class; I was seated next to a boy that I don't know very well. When I sat down, he informed me that he is "opposed" to brushing his teeth. I thought he was kidding. Then he started breathing with his mouth open. These are our seats for the rest of the year. FML
Today, I was sitting a full bus when a man seated himself next to me. After a few moments, he looked at me and said, "I can smell your vagina, you must be ovulating." I don't know if he was hitting on me or what but I couldn't race out of there fast enough. FML
Today, while I was riding the bus to work, I noticed the guy sitting across from me had shorts on. He also had no underwear on and I could fully see his "parts" just hanging there. I decided to switch seats but as I stood up to move, the bus jerked. I fell face forward right into his "parts". FML
Today, we had to re-live sex ed in my college biology class. Unlike in middle school, nobody giggled incessantly. However, the guy sitting next to me stared at me intensely for nearly the whole three hour lecture. FML
Today, in my psychology class, the creepy guy who sits beside me every day leans over and says, "I have an upset stomach, I may have to use the bathroom." FML
Today, I was riding the public bus and a really fat, smelly guy sat next to me. He put his arm around my shoulder and asked me if I was single. My stop wasn't for three more miles. FML
Today, I sat next to this really hot guy in my writing class. We struck up a conversation, and it was going well, until he began describing, in excruciating detail, his IBS and fiber problems, and how he always has to poop. Good to know. FML
Today, while sitting on the bus a stranger sat next to me, farted, put his hand under his butt to smell what it was like, and then sniffed it throughout the whole ride while glancing at me. FML
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Top comments
Sneekert 4
Well... they are not. they are usually a couple of degrees colder to keep errors during sperm production down. Tell him he messes up his sperm by warming the balls with his hands.
Angel1000168 16
Run. Now. Or ask to be moved. Practically beg. Your choice.
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Comments (86)
marramrammar 2
LOL- he was telling the truth, but I think his hand was cold and he placed it between his legs. So instead of you thinking he is a perv, he was trying to tell you he is warming his hands. Maybe he wanted to know if you wanted to warm your hands, as well!
laden_swallow09 35
Well… they are.
Ebolaconflict 11
Epic!
ballpython 15
You should casually say to him next time "I hear there is a really cool club in your ass. you should poke your head in and check it out."
soja_fml 18
Should have*
nattnatt73 31
Creeper!
lhamil64_fml 5
Semester? Does that mean your in college? Why would you have assigned seats in college?
Quiet_one 22
Not necessarily. Both high schools I went to had semesters, and even though that's not the only way to divide the year it's pretty common. I assumed the OP was in high school or middle school based on the assigned seats.
friscosoonerkid 3
Op can be in high school and that will explain the assign seats. I'm in high school and we have semesters. Each semester is a half credit in a year long class
iAmPaul 49
Wow what a disgusting pervert...
ShantiKumar 4
he is also biologically incorrect. balls hang lower than the rest of the body to keep then 2 degrees celsius cooler. so he is dumb and a pervert.
skyeyez9 25
I dont think so. Balls hang low and away from the body to keep them slightly cooler than your core temperature. To prevent any issues with sperm production.