Today, we got new seats in class today. The guy placed next to me, turned, looked me dead in the eye, and said, "The balls are the warmest place on the body" while his hands were in his pants. I'm stuck next to him for the rest of the semester. FML
Collection
College Life
Packed lecture halls, a sketchy roommate and frat parties: welcome to college, the real thing.
Today, on the bus, a large smelly man was sat next to me, pushing me against the divider and sliding into me on every turn. When he got up for his stop, his pants had loosened and his bare ass was staring me in the face. FML
Today, we got a new seating arrangement in my science class. I'm now sitting between two people who have spent the last 20 minutes whispering dirty things to one another. FML
Today, we got new seats in my English class; I was seated next to a boy that I don't know very well. When I sat down, he informed me that he is "opposed" to brushing his teeth. I thought he was kidding. Then he started breathing with his mouth open. These are our seats for the rest of the year. FML
Today, I was sitting a full bus when a man seated himself next to me. After a few moments, he looked at me and said, "I can smell your vagina, you must be ovulating." I don't know if he was hitting on me or what but I couldn't race out of there fast enough. FML
Today, while I was riding the bus to work, I noticed the guy sitting across from me had shorts on. He also had no underwear on and I could fully see his "parts" just hanging there. I decided to switch seats but as I stood up to move, the bus jerked. I fell face forward right into his "parts". FML
Today, we had to re-live sex ed in my college biology class. Unlike in middle school, nobody giggled incessantly. However, the guy sitting next to me stared at me intensely for nearly the whole three hour lecture. FML
Today, in my psychology class, the creepy guy who sits beside me every day leans over and says, "I have an upset stomach, I may have to use the bathroom." FML
Today, I was riding the public bus and a really fat, smelly guy sat next to me. He put his arm around my shoulder and asked me if I was single. My stop wasn't for three more miles. FML
Today, I sat next to this really hot guy in my writing class. We struck up a conversation, and it was going well, until he began describing, in excruciating detail, his IBS and fiber problems, and how he always has to poop. Good to know. FML
Today, while sitting on the bus a stranger sat next to me, farted, put his hand under his butt to smell what it was like, and then sniffed it throughout the whole ride while glancing at me. FML
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Top comments
Sneekert 4
Well... they are not. they are usually a couple of degrees colder to keep errors during sperm production down. Tell him he messes up his sperm by warming the balls with his hands.
Angel1000168 16
Run. Now. Or ask to be moved. Practically beg. Your choice.
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Comments (86)
neurodoc 1
Tell him that he is wrong.. Then pause ... Then smell your fingers and in a slow seductive voice say "yeast infected vag is" and wink. He'll drop the class
AidenSurvival 7
#16 - He probably would like that...
Bena_Round2long 2
I would tell a teacher or principle, that can be considered harassment and he would probably get kicked out!
diaspora_fml 26
Indeed, inform the principal on principle.
andrew6p 19
Kick him in the nuts, it'll make his balls warmer! Thats if he tries to do something bad or disgusting to ya!
Tezoma 28
Discussing how warm his balls are with his hand stuffed in his pants is pretty disgusting, but I don't quite think it warrants an immediate kick to the crotch.
iamzikang 17
Violent does not solve anything ...
SkyyEatsAirplane 11
Re-read what 23 said. "that's IF he tries doing something bad or disgusting to ya". I agree, if this guy does anything bad or decides to attack you in any way (sexually or physically), kick him in the balls. Then run.
DivineSunshine 1
Ask to be moved.
Auion 1
Must suck being 12 and having assigned seats.
turtlegrl66 11
I'm 17 and still have assigned seating in some classes.
CharresBarkrey 16
I had assigned seats in some classes when I was in college.
citymayer 7
I'm sitting in my assigned seat right now. :( next to body-odor-girl. Sigh
Senseless_487 29
Well, he's pretty ballsy. Don't nut up over it; just ignore him.
perdix 31
Tell him he should switch to boxers. He wouod have a better chance of impregnating you. Creeps like that are all talk, and if you say that, he'll run away like a teaty baby.
B3Y0ND 3
Creeps are either all talk or serial killers...
Enslaved 38
Is he right? I thought balls were suppose to be cooler than the rest of a guy's body or sperms cells would over heat and end up dying. :P
KiddNYC1O 22
I think breasts are the coolest balls!
Tidus0 17
True fact the reason the testicles hang it to try reduce the temperature from the body. By placing the hand there it's screwing the natural process of the body.
KiddNYC1O 22
Everyone's got a title and belong to different groups in school. He's in the weirdos click.