Today, in my psychology class, the creepy guy who sits beside me every day leans over and says, "I have an upset stomach, I may have to use the bathroom." FML
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College Life
Packed lecture halls, a sketchy roommate and frat parties: welcome to college, the real thing.
Today, I sat next to this really hot guy in my writing class. We struck up a conversation, and it was going well, until he began describing, in excruciating detail, his IBS and fiber problems, and how he always has to poop. Good to know. FML
Today, I was sitting in my chemistry class when a sick girl behind me asked, "Can I go to the bathroom?" My teacher, being a smart ass said, "Don't you mean MAY I use the bathroom?" Meanwhile, the girl behind me started throwing up all over her desk… and me. FML
Today, the new girl told me that a guy at the back of the class was being creepy. I looked over and saw him picking his nose and flinging boogers at the girls sitting in the front. That guy is my boyfriend. FML
Today, my stomach growled so loud in class that a boy sitting next to me thought his phone had vibrated. FML
Today, a kid in class kept chatting to his friend, and was made to swap seats. Every time the guy he swapped with moved, the stench from his armpits wafted over. It smelled like nacho cheese crossed with ball sweat. It got so bad that I eventually had to go dry heave in the toilets. FML
Today, the guy who sits next to me in my psychology class openly admitted to torturing animals as a child. It's going to be a long semester. FML
Today, we got new seats in class today. The guy placed next to me, turned, looked me dead in the eye, and said, "The balls are the warmest place on the body" while his hands were in his pants. I'm stuck next to him for the rest of the semester. FML
Today, we got a new seating arrangement in my science class. I'm now sitting between two people who have spent the last 20 minutes whispering dirty things to one another. FML
Today, I had an upset stomach all day at work. When lunch break came, I rushed to the bathroom. Just as I turned into an unstoppable human whoopie cushion, a co-worker walked in. He heard the entire arse symphony, and just asked, "What the fuck, dude?!" as he left. FML
Today, I used the staff toilets at school. As I sat down, I heard a sudden plop, followed by the stench of diarrhoea from the next cubicle. It was followed by, "I do apologise!" It was my English teacher. Then we continued to chat. FML
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Top comments
VictoriaSchultz 8
Sounds like his own problem
kings1fan 6
At least he gave you a heads up
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Comments (103)
VictoriaSchultz 8
Sounds like his own problem
gojira666 7
TMI. TMFI.
comedybreak 20
Am I the only one who doesn't find this weird? I mean the guy said he might have to go, not he's horny and needs to **********
AFCA020 4
Maybe you should tell him where the bathroom is before it's too late...
simonsaysYDI 8
67 - I gave him a step up from that. I thought he was being polite and letting OP know in advance he might have to get up during class.
Orcina1 3
Way to break a folkway
LolFMLnot 10
#67 No, it's not weird because apparently we all tell strangers beside us when we have to pee.
eraintime 0
Don't blame him. He was in a lot of pain and looked to you for comfort.
yahoowizard 16
Because glancing at OP is like taking Peptobismol
LightningCactus 12
I can just imagine OP saying "Nausea, Heartburn, Indigestion, Upset Stomach, Diarrhea!"
caberon 7
Poor dude. Even if he's creepy and all, he might, in some "different wAy", have felt like you are approachable and easy to talk to! Nonetheless, that was a weird comment to bring up to someone period. Maybe he gets stimulated by psych in an odd way... Lol
archenemybtch 0
That's highly disturbing.
matt98_fml 13
You should inform your teacher. Or ask to move seats.
eb0ny 15
"The guy next to me told me he had an upset stomach. Can I move seats?"
matt98_fml 13
Opps. What I actually meant was that op should inform the teacher of the creeper situation after class. And then ask to switch seats.
fluorescentadole_fml 8
why a llama?
kings1fan 6
At least he gave you a heads up
VasilisaUzhasnaj 29
In case he ***** his pants?
swimmerstud 7
We don't even know if he shit in his pants or if he got up and used the bathroom!
hahaleym 0
Ur not funny
SkoomaKi 28
Punch him in the stomach and RUN!
sleepinginclass 8
That's why you run!!
RoseTintMyWorld 8
When you gotta go, you gotta go.
BcICan08 1
not making him any less creepy thats for sure.
ycrem0n 21
Creepy people are increasing lately..
ThecomingofTan 9
What he means by that is, "I am going to go pleasure myself to the image of you like I do all the time."