Today, my parents got a new dog. It attacks me every time I laugh. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went for a run, and my own dog attacked me. FML
Today, my school brought in therapy dogs to help with stress. I was attacked by one of them. FML
Today, I started petting my cousin's Doberman. Now, whenever I stop he growls menacingly. FML
Today, my dog carried on with his recent habit of trying to hump me. When I told my mom, she just joked that he's my new boyfriend. Now my whole family is just calling him my boyfriend. FML
Today, I thought I was seeing double. My neighbours got a new dog, which is exactly the same as the other one, except that it hates me twice as much. FML
Today, my boyfriend's vicious dog, which he got as a security measure and growls and barks at me whenever I go near it, was caught on our security camera playing like a puppy with a burglar, while the other two burglars cleaned out all our valuables. FML
Today, I was mauled by my own dog. I own a Chihuahua. FML
Today, I laughed at my grandma's chihuahua poodle mix, as it barked at me entering the house. "What are you going to do, nibble me to death?" is apparently enough to make it jump and bite me. I needed five stitches. FML
Today, my mom's dog saw a cat in our yard. I watched as he tried to jump at it, only to smack face-first into the window. He did this twice more before curling up on the floor and whimpering pitifully. When my mom came in and saw him there, and me laughing, she accused me of beating him. FML
Today, while studying for an exam, the neighbor's chihuahua started barking outside. After a few seconds, my mom yelled out for me to stop laughing. She honestly thought the barking was my laughter. FML
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Top comments
FortuneCookie3 1
attack it every time it barks
ICATiger 13
Guess it's the dog who gets the last laugh...
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Comments (83)
MyCommentsSuck 21
Who's laughing now? Probably your mom since it sure isn't you anymore.
perdix 31
Watch the American version of "The Office," you'll be safe.
ngarcia333 0
Good one perdix
CVeNgineer 0
Wow all these comments are f***ing stupid
Red_Ranger_Rules 0
BAZINGA
bvgreenday 7
I love how everyone judges each others comments, when in fact their's are stupid and suck too...
Awsumuzzie 12
Well, you're judging people for judging people... You're no better!
GoW_Chick 15
15- Kind of like yours?
xxGheTToGumbYxx 16
I love everyone.
Dracoboxer357 36
15, I hate to be rude but.....you notice those little thumbs up and thumbs down buttons? This is FML, you're Supposed to be judging people's comments, it's kinda entirely the point. :p
hellonyancat 6
Most people probably only judge a few comments. You just judged all of them...including your own.
toxicpinkcandy 10
89- you made me lol (:
ikickgingers 15
At least the dog isn't humping you... Unless you're into that? o.O
GoW_Chick 15
Well then don't laugh at it, because bitches be crazy!
CabbageTrees 13
I see what you did there... :D
mikeymayhem_87 15
Is it a little rat dog that is attacking you when you laugh? You should punt it across the room, if it is a little rat dog that attacks you!
ngarcia333 0
I've always fantasized about that but poor doggy
lindseykcool 6
or maybe you SHOULDNT kick dogs. That's not gonna teach it anything.
mikeymayhem_87 15
Or perhaps it's a joke.... >_>
chels1994 11
You're gonna have a miserable life from here on out (:
harttyrelly 4
You might need to change your laugh
Angelrose2004 17
Go buy the dog some treats or a toy. That should do the trick!
Zomg_Okay 27
That could actually encourage the dog's aggressiveness. It could interpret the food or toys as a reward for attacking OP. Or it might decide that you're trying to appease it because you're afraid of it. You want the dog to respect you, not think you're it's bitch.
Roevera 14
well I don't think she's gonna reward the dog while he's attacking her, but most likely giving the dog treats while he's being good. it'll create a better bond between the two.