Today, my parents got a new dog. It attacks me every time I laugh. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went for a run, and my own dog attacked me. FML
Today, my school brought in therapy dogs to help with stress. I was attacked by one of them. FML
Today, I started petting my cousin's Doberman. Now, whenever I stop he growls menacingly. FML
Today, my dog carried on with his recent habit of trying to hump me. When I told my mom, she just joked that he's my new boyfriend. Now my whole family is just calling him my boyfriend. FML
Today, I thought I was seeing double. My neighbours got a new dog, which is exactly the same as the other one, except that it hates me twice as much. FML
Today, my boyfriend's vicious dog, which he got as a security measure and growls and barks at me whenever I go near it, was caught on our security camera playing like a puppy with a burglar, while the other two burglars cleaned out all our valuables. FML
Today, I was mauled by my own dog. I own a Chihuahua. FML
Today, I laughed at my grandma's chihuahua poodle mix, as it barked at me entering the house. "What are you going to do, nibble me to death?" is apparently enough to make it jump and bite me. I needed five stitches. FML
Today, my mom's dog saw a cat in our yard. I watched as he tried to jump at it, only to smack face-first into the window. He did this twice more before curling up on the floor and whimpering pitifully. When my mom came in and saw him there, and me laughing, she accused me of beating him. FML
Today, while studying for an exam, the neighbor's chihuahua started barking outside. After a few seconds, my mom yelled out for me to stop laughing. She honestly thought the barking was my laughter. FML
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Top comments
FortuneCookie3 1
attack it every time it barks
ICATiger 13
Guess it's the dog who gets the last laugh...
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Comments (83)
lovebunnies 5
contact animal control and have the dog put down
NAAMxLOOS 11
Or, you know, just discipline the ******* dog. Jesus ******* Christ, you people....
fuckkyeaaaalaura 12
Then don't laugh
DarylAndrew 2
This is like squidward being attacked by a sea bear
Melster 0
He should be a guard dog for a serious seminar for like the president... Id like to see that.
Tatted_Ari 3
Lmao that sucks
krisymisy 0
I don't think it has a good spence of humor!!
xXRazelleLuniiXx 9
Maybe he doesn't find you very funny, OP.
coolgirl44 3
Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know. To get to the other side... Knock knock Who's there? The chicken. The guy who invented knock knock jokes should get a nobell prize.
SamanthaLovesJB 0
Lol that sucks:p
track96 4
for some reason I find this super hilarious.