Today, my parents got a new dog. It attacks me every time I laugh. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went for a run, and my own dog attacked me. FML
Today, my school brought in therapy dogs to help with stress. I was attacked by one of them. FML
Today, I started petting my cousin's Doberman. Now, whenever I stop he growls menacingly. FML
Today, my dog carried on with his recent habit of trying to hump me. When I told my mom, she just joked that he's my new boyfriend. Now my whole family is just calling him my boyfriend. FML
Today, I thought I was seeing double. My neighbours got a new dog, which is exactly the same as the other one, except that it hates me twice as much. FML
Today, my boyfriend's vicious dog, which he got as a security measure and growls and barks at me whenever I go near it, was caught on our security camera playing like a puppy with a burglar, while the other two burglars cleaned out all our valuables. FML
Today, I was mauled by my own dog. I own a Chihuahua. FML
Today, I laughed at my grandma's chihuahua poodle mix, as it barked at me entering the house. "What are you going to do, nibble me to death?" is apparently enough to make it jump and bite me. I needed five stitches. FML
Today, my mom's dog saw a cat in our yard. I watched as he tried to jump at it, only to smack face-first into the window. He did this twice more before curling up on the floor and whimpering pitifully. When my mom came in and saw him there, and me laughing, she accused me of beating him. FML
Today, while studying for an exam, the neighbor's chihuahua started barking outside. After a few seconds, my mom yelled out for me to stop laughing. She honestly thought the barking was my laughter. FML
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Top comments
FortuneCookie3 1
attack it every time it barks
ICATiger 13
Guess it's the dog who gets the last laugh...
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Comments (83)
duncanbaseball 0
Buy a cat
ClassyCommando 13
For the dog to attack instead of OP. Genius.
duncanbaseball 0
My dog is a 90 pound Labrador, and it's terrified of our cats.
dorky_lette 5
if laughter makes you live longer does this mean your dog is trying to kill you?
CryMoreFMLs 15
Laughter really is the best medicine!
BruceV18 2
...I hate to tell you this, but your dog may be the Anti-Christ
THE_A_TEEN 28
Wrong, I am. That dog right there is Cujo...
Zomg_Okay 27
Every time the dog goes for you, give him a good smack on the nose. Just hard enough that next time he'll think twice about it. Dogs are basically domesticated wolves. They view their families as their pack and as such they try to establish a nice high spot in the pecking order, preferably the top. You establish early on that the dog is at and will stay at the bottom of the pack. If you handle it right, you get a dog that will respect you, protect you if necessary and most importantly, behave.
NAAMxLOOS 11
I second this >hurrdurr useless comment
Roevera 14
Who died and made you the dog whisperer?
Zomg_Okay 27
96 - Nobody died, thankfully. Is it really such a big deal that I know how to care for dogs?
crammer1 6
Give the dog das boot!!!
Zomg_Okay 27
[Edit]
bayboo_kraziee 0
And... Let me guess, you love to laugh a lot?
jorge_guevara 0
Put a bark collar.
Gregabob00 0
I've trained it well...
Rae1797 0
Is it a puppy, or and adult? Puppies do that kind of stuff and you can train them not to. But dogs? You're screwed aha
Give_Linux_A_Go 28
Boy, that sure is ruff....