Today, I went to see a dinosaur exhibition with my mum. We walked around and saw a huge dinosaur, made of plastic and rubber. She was very disappointed, saying that she thought there would be real live dinosaurs for us to see. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went to the Natural History Museum with my boyfriend. While we were standing in front of real dinosaur bones, he told me he didn't believe in dinosaurs. FML
Today, my mom and I went to the mall to look for some boxer briefs. While looking, I saw two girls I knew from school, so I went over to say hello. At least, that was my plan, but my mom screamed, "Look! These have dinosaurs on them!" They left the store giggling. FML
Today, I went to a costume party dressed as a giant inflatable dinosaur. I got stuck in the elevator and had to be deflated to get out. FML
Today, my husband and I were watching Jurassic Park. At the end of the movie, he commented on how amazed he was that they could "train those dinosaurs" to do exactly what they wanted them to do. FML
Today, I came home to find my girlfriend crying. Concerned, I quickly asked her what was wrong. She told me tearfully that she couldn't understand why her pet lizards hadn’t grown into dinosaurs yet, and that pet store had cheated her. I’m still concerned now, but for entirely different reasons. FML
Today, I surprised my four year-old daughter with a stuffed dinosaur. She named it "Horny". FML
Today, I went to the zoo to see all of my favorite animals. When I got there, I realized they must've all been on strike or something, and refused to come out of their enclosures. FML
Today, our family went to a water park. The park's mascot came up to greet us, and my daughter got scared. She then refused to go inside, so we had no choice but to leave. FML
Today, I had to explain to my boyfriend, who is a fully-grown man, that making dinosaur noises in public is no longer acceptable. FML
Today, I showed my mom a picture of a baby sloth. She then said, "Wait, sloths are real?" She thought Ice Age made them up. FML
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Top comments
hotdogcore 9
Your mother is a complete, and utter moron.
ididntdoit1980 8
Times like this you pray that you're adopted and not born from her genes.
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Comments (87)
LSS_fml 18
Plastic? You got ripped off.
sqeakyclean 7
Your mom's brain is as big as a dinosaur's.
datgamerchick 14
A dinosaur is a pretty big creature; It'd only make sense for their brains to be be massive as well, so you pretty much just complimented OP's mother.
smokeraisins 7
Nope, dinosaur brains weren't nescessarily that big. Stegasaurus' brain was the size of a walnut...
Sarry77 6
That, and intelligence comes from how wrinkly the brain is, not its size
lionlvr 9
83- Seriously? How wrinkly it is? Go take some classes.
Sarry77 6
Well, I learned that in my Gen Psych class a couple of years ago, sooo...
tpike1296 11
83 is actually correct. Size does not matter, the roughness determines ability to think/reason. Please look it up, and if you can prove me/83 correct, let me know, as I love learning.
chowE_fml 4
Your mother? Did you mean your grand mother?
jojoboy 0
Or you could be the idiot of she was messing with you
jojoboy 0
"if" not "of"
LolUnlucky 12
Maybe she was just kidding! If not, i'm sorry but your mom needs to take history classes.
badactor009 0
It sucks that your Mom is that dumb. Good luck with that. No end to the potential FMLs coming your way.
hardliquor 4
Ask her to look in the mirror. Hey a dinosaur!
sensoon15 7
Considering the fact that she seems like she doesn't have many IQ points, you probably could sneak your way out of trouble a lot. "I don't know why I failed this quiz Mom, I thought dinosaurs are alive. Apparently my teacher doesn't agree."
ancianlia 4
I would of done a face-palm to myself then state that the dinosaurs don't excises anymore. I feel sorry for you.
sensoon15 7
Like how I just face-palmed myself because you said excises, not exist.
FaceMelterx2530 4
I don't want to live on this planet anymore...
micahsmommy 13
Well don't expect a dinosaur to come eat you to get you out of here.