No joke

Today, I asked out one of the girls that hangs out in my group of friends (the same group I have been hanging out for three years). She stared at me for a couple of seconds, then said, "Who the hell are you?" FML

Today, I asked out this girl I've been spending a lot of time with lately. She told me she was only hanging out with me because she thought I was gay and wouldn't try to get in her pants. FML

Today, after three weeks of putting it off, I decided to ask out the girl I've had a major crush on since third grade. When I told her, she smiled, but then quickly said, "But aren't you gay?" FML

Today, I asked a girl I like out. She ended up having an asthma attack because she was laughing so hard. I guess that's a no. FML

Today, I asked the girl I am in love with out on a date. She asked me for my name. FML

Today, I asked out the girl I really like. She turned me down, saying that she's a lesbian. That'd be fine, if I were a guy. FML

Honesty is the best policy

Today, I finally went on a date with a girl I've been talking to for 2 years. She is my dream girl, picture perfect and I love her with all my heart. So I asked her, half jokingly, if I was her dream guy. Her reply? "Don't ask me something you don't want to hear the answer of." FML

Today, I asked a girl out. She replied, "Sorry, I'm suddenly a lesbian." FML

Today, for the first time, I told my girlfriend of two months that I love her. She broke down in laughter and mockingly asked, "What are you, some kind of queer?" I could've sworn she was mentally older than a 5-year-old when I asked her out. I guess not. FML

Today, I finally got up the nerve to ask this really cute girl out I've had a crush on for over eight months. Turns out she isn't a girl. FML