Today, I was really upset after work, so I tearfully asked my boyfriend to bring something over to cheer me up when he visited later. An hour or so later he arrived, having bought me a brand new large purple dildo to "brighten my mood." FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, when I got home from work I was pretty "in the mood" so I put on some cute undies and a tank top and went to get my boyfriends attention, he was so into his new computer game all I got was a half smile and a pat on the head. FML
Today, I sent my boyfriend a text asking him to come over a little later and have some "fun" with me. He texted back, "WTF babe? Breaking Bad's on tonight. You got a dildo, fucking use it." FML
Today, I went to the airport after saying goodbye to my, for some reason, giggling boyfriend. I learnt why he was so cheerful when I opened my purse in front of the guards, only to find pink-furry handcuffs, and a huge dildo. They pretended not to know what it was. FML
Today, I called my boyfriend crying to tell him I had the most terrible day. He said I should come over, and he would make me feel better. I said I just want to snuggle, and I was impressed with his sincerity. Then he said, "Can we snuggle... with my dick in you?" FML
Today, on the way out to buy groceries, my boyfriend asked if I'd like him to buy some of my favourite flowers. Happy with his rare show of affection, I said yes. When he returned, he gave me a bag of our usual brand of flour and laughed hysterically in my face. FML
Today, per my boyfriend's request, I bought some lingerie. He got so excited when he saw me, he ripped it off me right away. After we were done he used it to clean up. I essentially bought a $40 cum rag. FML
Today, I was feeling depressed and got very, very drunk. This evening, I was feeling equally desperate, and ended up having to get my special dildo removed from my asshole at the hospital. FML
Today, I was really excited to fuck my boyfriend when I got home from work. When I got home, I found him excited and… fucking someone from work. FML
Today, my boyfriend complained all day about being bored, so wanting to cheer him up, I put on some sexy clothes and went to his house. I got on his bed in my underwear and called him over. He quickly decided he'd rather play Diablo for the next five hours instead. FML
Today, I was showing my boyfriend some stuff I bought that day: a new thong and a bag of his favorite brand of peanuts. He was more excited about the peanuts. FML
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Top comments
kawa_fml 0
aw, that's nice of him!
Dfeline 2
Ever considered that he was trying to make you laugh, consequently brightening your mood? Be glad. Most FML boyfriend's would just tell you to stop whining and make them a sandwich.
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Comments (170)
ONYA 0
don't listen to these fools. That really wasn't cool for him to do and I'd be extremely hurt FYL
Finnboghi 0
Girl, you have issues. If you really think sex is so terrible that you would be hurt by the very suggestion of it, you don't have a hope in hell of ever having a meaningful relationship. On topic, this is scientifically the best possible present for you; if you have a sense of humour and laugh about it, then you'll be cheered up quickly. If you and him use it together, you'll strengthen your bond with him, which releases hormones to calm and relax you. If you use it on your own, your ****** causes such a rush of endorphins that you can't help but feel good.
IheartCoffee27 0
What's there to be hurt about?
Tubasaurus 0
We need another WHHAAAAmbulance over here!
lyssaboo 0
lol
mike1921 0
ONYA, if her mom died or something (this seemed to just be a bad day at work) and he did this, than maybe that'd be justified. I don't think it would unless he was trying to get laid because somethin genuinely horrible happened. He isn't getting laid, and the odds are what happened was minor.
greenfairy0 0
yeesh, your bf actually went out to buy you a *****, could have been worse, he could have gotten you a flavored condom instead...
girlnamedkris 0
wait how is that a bad thing
Rdnckmuffdver02 0
Atleast it was a "Brand New One"...OP YDI that could of been fun for both of you! But what the hell you probably cried again over not approving of his gesture. Next time call one of your girlfriends, she might tell you to use the *****.
smiller0789 3
Would've made me laugh...
sabrinasuzanne 0
I would be THRILLED! Send your boyfriend my way.
missIrene 6
I know right?
Eelusive 0
Did it work?
portablecupid 3
I fail to see the FML here.
zee209 0
Not an FML...Do you not have a sense of humor? He seems like a very awesome boyfriend to me! He could have told you to suck it up, not visited you OR brought you anything. I'm pretty sure he was trying to make you laugh by buying you a *****. It would have made me laugh. So I guess YDI for having no sense of humor and probably being a bitch to him.
podrummer9209 0
...and?