Today, I was really upset after work, so I tearfully asked my boyfriend to bring something over to cheer me up when he visited later. An hour or so later he arrived, having bought me a brand new large purple dildo to "brighten my mood." FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, when I got home from work I was pretty "in the mood" so I put on some cute undies and a tank top and went to get my boyfriends attention, he was so into his new computer game all I got was a half smile and a pat on the head. FML
Today, I sent my boyfriend a text asking him to come over a little later and have some "fun" with me. He texted back, "WTF babe? Breaking Bad's on tonight. You got a dildo, fucking use it." FML
Today, I went to the airport after saying goodbye to my, for some reason, giggling boyfriend. I learnt why he was so cheerful when I opened my purse in front of the guards, only to find pink-furry handcuffs, and a huge dildo. They pretended not to know what it was. FML
Today, I called my boyfriend crying to tell him I had the most terrible day. He said I should come over, and he would make me feel better. I said I just want to snuggle, and I was impressed with his sincerity. Then he said, "Can we snuggle... with my dick in you?" FML
Today, on the way out to buy groceries, my boyfriend asked if I'd like him to buy some of my favourite flowers. Happy with his rare show of affection, I said yes. When he returned, he gave me a bag of our usual brand of flour and laughed hysterically in my face. FML
Today, per my boyfriend's request, I bought some lingerie. He got so excited when he saw me, he ripped it off me right away. After we were done he used it to clean up. I essentially bought a $40 cum rag. FML
Today, I was feeling depressed and got very, very drunk. This evening, I was feeling equally desperate, and ended up having to get my special dildo removed from my asshole at the hospital. FML
Today, I was really excited to fuck my boyfriend when I got home from work. When I got home, I found him excited and… fucking someone from work. FML
Today, my boyfriend complained all day about being bored, so wanting to cheer him up, I put on some sexy clothes and went to his house. I got on his bed in my underwear and called him over. He quickly decided he'd rather play Diablo for the next five hours instead. FML
Today, I was showing my boyfriend some stuff I bought that day: a new thong and a bag of his favorite brand of peanuts. He was more excited about the peanuts. FML
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Top comments
kawa_fml 0
aw, that's nice of him!
Dfeline 2
Ever considered that he was trying to make you laugh, consequently brightening your mood? Be glad. Most FML boyfriend's would just tell you to stop whining and make them a sandwich.
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Comments (170)
crashTRAGIC 0
haha i wish my boyf did stuff like this! the last present i got off him was a jigglypuff he found under his bed.....tho i do love tht jigglypuff
windytears 0
oooo bet u guys had fun that nite ; ]
iiTEMP524 0
Biish please. I would have been appreciative tht he even came to your whiney ass on demand like he did... Tht shit prbly cost a good 20-25 bucks girl. I would have shoved tht thang somewhere & had a good ol' fxckin time!
jmeg_fml 0
hahaha it's not a bad gift, really. and it was sweet of him to bring you a gift like you asked, you gotta admit it IS sort of a douchey thing to call someone because you're sad and want presents
fmh123 0
a ***** is a mans worse nightmare, that guys an idiot, why would he buy his girlfriend the arch enemy of man, instead he should of went over there and made some love to her, what an idiot!
letitbe56 0
If a straight woman prefers a ***** to her boyfriend, the boyfriend is doing something wrong. Don't be intimidated by a piece of rubber. Just relax and stay open to helpful suggestions.
thelonelylurker 0
Did it work?
echarperouge 0
Ugh, I will never understand men. Next time call on a girlfriend instead.
LadyLex 0
Thats was great of him! I wish my bf would do that for me. and purple is my fave color
lastminuteperm 0
Wow. That was nice of you. "Umm....sweetie....(crying)" "Yeah" "I had a really bad day at work...can you maybe bring over some bath bubbles and flowers and a new diamond necklace that match the dress and pumps you're gonna get for me." "Uhh...that's a little much, babe. Is it ok if I just get you the flowers? Times are tough right now--" "BRING ME THE DAMN NECKLACE!" "Ok...geeze." You are a mother ******* brat! You don't ask your boyfriend to get you something! Bitch! Your happy you got that!
PeacockSHS 0
Did you really just sit and type that out? I think you need to visit a mental hospital.. I don't really see why everyone is so upset. She asked for something, wooaahhh big deal, what a bitch. D: If you were upset, I'm pretty sure you'd ask for something, too. Even if she wasn't specific enough, how anyone would get a ***** out of that is beyond me.
BLNovelist 0
I think we all have our panties in a twist because rather then asking for his companionship or something, she asked him to go out and actually buy her something - most likely expecting something uber expensive and/or romantic, otherwise this FML wouldn't be here, I'd think.
lyssaboo 0
whats the big deal? ur bf bought u something that should of made u laugh and have some pleasure. ugh be more specific nxt time.