Today, I was really upset after work, so I tearfully asked my boyfriend to bring something over to cheer me up when he visited later. An hour or so later he arrived, having bought me a brand new large purple dildo to "brighten my mood." FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, when I got home from work I was pretty "in the mood" so I put on some cute undies and a tank top and went to get my boyfriends attention, he was so into his new computer game all I got was a half smile and a pat on the head. FML
Today, I sent my boyfriend a text asking him to come over a little later and have some "fun" with me. He texted back, "WTF babe? Breaking Bad's on tonight. You got a dildo, fucking use it." FML
Today, I went to the airport after saying goodbye to my, for some reason, giggling boyfriend. I learnt why he was so cheerful when I opened my purse in front of the guards, only to find pink-furry handcuffs, and a huge dildo. They pretended not to know what it was. FML
Today, I called my boyfriend crying to tell him I had the most terrible day. He said I should come over, and he would make me feel better. I said I just want to snuggle, and I was impressed with his sincerity. Then he said, "Can we snuggle... with my dick in you?" FML
Today, on the way out to buy groceries, my boyfriend asked if I'd like him to buy some of my favourite flowers. Happy with his rare show of affection, I said yes. When he returned, he gave me a bag of our usual brand of flour and laughed hysterically in my face. FML
Today, per my boyfriend's request, I bought some lingerie. He got so excited when he saw me, he ripped it off me right away. After we were done he used it to clean up. I essentially bought a $40 cum rag. FML
Today, I was feeling depressed and got very, very drunk. This evening, I was feeling equally desperate, and ended up having to get my special dildo removed from my asshole at the hospital. FML
Today, I was really excited to fuck my boyfriend when I got home from work. When I got home, I found him excited and… fucking someone from work. FML
Today, my boyfriend complained all day about being bored, so wanting to cheer him up, I put on some sexy clothes and went to his house. I got on his bed in my underwear and called him over. He quickly decided he'd rather play Diablo for the next five hours instead. FML
Today, I was showing my boyfriend some stuff I bought that day: a new thong and a bag of his favorite brand of peanuts. He was more excited about the peanuts. FML
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Top comments
kawa_fml 0
aw, that's nice of him!
Dfeline 2
Ever considered that he was trying to make you laugh, consequently brightening your mood? Be glad. Most FML boyfriend's would just tell you to stop whining and make them a sandwich.
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Comments (170)
tiffygirl 0
Clearly she dosnt know how to use it properly! I would have been Thrilled!!
maddi27 0
YDI... for being selfish about it and wanting something. having your boyfriend there comforting you not enough?
maddi27 0
and to all those ******* that say i need to get a sesne of humor and what not. did i ever say that it wasnt funny or he wasnt romantic? no. so keep your ******* mouth shut, fuckwits.
letitbe56 0
...you are reacting to non-existent criticism. Calm down.
Shyman4ever 0
You should be thankful. ****** are enjoyable for every girl.
blameyourself 0
You sound like a huge wimp. "Bring me a present because I'm sad?" Geez. I'm a girl and I don't pull crap like that.
lexiBRo 0
so..did it cheer you up?
ky_stone22 0
well, it was rather rude of you to just snap your fingers and expect him to do something amazing, in my opinion. You didn't really give him much time to put thought into it. Or, maybe he was trying to be funny, and hoped that would cheer you up. Heck, it made me laugh :). I think maybe you were just hoping for something more like sympathy or romance instead of humor, but he was sweet to try, right? But I do agree with everyone saying having him there to comfort you should be enough. That's the beauty of relationships.
Tubasaurus 0
Somebody call the WHHAAAAmbulance.
iloveblackshirt6 0
#93 my 5th grade teacher used to say that ALL the time when kids complained of the stupidest things. Anyway...how is that an FML??
Clairina 0
purple?
strawberryswirl 0
You're right. How awful. He should have sprung for a vibrator.
JHUGO20 0
i wouldve bought you some weed,