Miscellaneous: Today, I had to water my entire garden. After an exhausting hour...

By Rainman - United States

Today, I had to water my entire garden. After an exhausting hour of watering hundreds of plants, I turned off the hose and started to feel good about the grueling job. That is, until it started pouring rain. FML

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46743

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Miscellaneous

Taking stock

Dementia or hate? You decide

Woohoo, party time!

By AgathedeBlouse - France

Today, as I do every morning, I woke up and gave my dog, who sleeps next to me, a kiss on the nose. Except that this morning he had been sleeping the other way round. I kissed him on the arse. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27492

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By jaimpastaggle - France

Today, after spending over two hours cleaning my kitchen from top to bottom, my 5-year-old then runs in, yells, “Snowstorm!” and throws a bag of flour all over the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks

11006

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1278

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By lovelife - United States

Today, I was robbed of five bucks by a vending machine that said "Enjoy Life!" FML

I agree, your life sucks

27855

You deserved it

3758

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By Anonymous

Today, I was talking to my military brother about him coming home soon. I told him that our parents don't always handle change well, but are excited to see him. He took that to mean that they don't want him home and to make plans to stay where he is. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1791

You deserved it

861

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By brittgreen - United States

Today, I was supposed to catch a ride with a friend and go to Warped Tour with her. She called at the last minute to say she was sick, so I told her we didn't have to go. I just got a text saying she just got pictures and autographs with the band I especially wanted to see. FML

I agree, your life sucks

39419

You deserved it

3644

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By Noname - Slovenia

Today, they finally took my braces off. 7 hours later I fell off my bike and chipped my tooth. FML

I agree, your life sucks

56422

You deserved it

6387

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By itscalledaphonecontractretards - United States

Today, I'm so broke, I resorted to breaking into my old apartment complex to do my laundry in the basement for free. FML

I agree, your life sucks

14493

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1743

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By Anonymous - Australia

Today, I witnessed my boyfriend sneeze in his hands, and then lick it. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33030

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3476

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By timor - United States

Today, another man proposed to my girlfriend. She said yes. FML

I agree, your life sucks

57671

You deserved it

4833

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By Anonymous - United States - Southfield

Today, my fully grown, 90-pound German Shepherd sniffed and wagged his tail as a guy mugged me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28337

You deserved it

2467

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By Anonymous - United States - Houston

Today, my wedding ring came off in a Walmart bathroom and fell into the toilet. It was an automatic toilet. It flushed. FML

I agree, your life sucks

7761

You deserved it

813

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By Anonymous - 28/6/2020 20:02

Surprise strike

Today, as I was walking home with dinner, a pigeon pooped on my leg like a dive bomb. My hands were full carrying the food, so I had to walk the rest of the way with a smear on my jeans that everyone knew what it was. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1228

You deserved it

145

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By frame - Canada

Today, I was walking my husky when she saw a cat and bolted toward it. I couldn't let go of the leash because my hand was tangled up. Forced to run along, I ran into a parked van at full sprint. I lost my dog, broke two ribs and have to pay for the dent in the van. FML

I agree, your life sucks

97001

You deserved it

10214

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, my daughter called me to pick her up at the mall. She said I had to meet her inside a specific store, so I figured she wanted me to pay for something. Turns out I was right, she was being arrested for shoplifting. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28583

You deserved it

2757

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By Jonas - United States - Wimberley

Today, I realized my paranoia is really bad when I saw my coworker holding a knife and immediately began thinking of ways to keep him from stabbing me. I work in a restaurant kitchen. FML

I agree, your life sucks

23282

You deserved it

4199

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By Anonymous - United States - Spanaway

Today, an elderly patient complained because I used the words "vaginal" and "breast". I work at an OBGYN's office. FML

I agree, your life sucks

12898

You deserved it

771

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By CRC - United States

Damned freshmen

Today, a freshman set off the fire alarm in my dorm at 2 a.m. He tried to microwave Easy Mac without adding water. I had to stand outside for 45 minutes while the firemen moved the noodles to the sink and ran cold water over them. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29220

You deserved it

2411

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By Kjer - Denmark - Copenhagen

Today, my family and I were visiting an aunt. While helping my aunt to set the table, my sister remarked that from behind I look exactly like her. I reflexively blurted out "well fuck you too". Very awkward silence. FML

I agree, your life sucks

14133

You deserved it

41605

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By FranticFarAwayDaughter

Today, my mother was transferred from the hospital to a long-term care facility. Nobody I talk to at the hospital knows what facility they sent her to. FML

I agree, your life sucks

4619

You deserved it

201

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By ChaosFerret - United States - Eugene

Today, I spent six hours making chicken and black bean chili for a big family gathering. I go to use the restroom. I come back to the pot on the floor with my cat standing in the chili, eating it. FML

I agree, your life sucks

13563

You deserved it

2077

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By UncleRory - United States

Today, I was shopping at a supermarket. As I was about to pay for my items, I noticed the cashier was very cute. Trying to be nice, I smiled. She smiled back and said "Hello, how are you?" Instead of saying "I'm good" or "I'm okay", I said "I'm gay". FML

I agree, your life sucks

65192

You deserved it

25464

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By maxthomkell - United States

Today, my AP government teacher moved our seats and of course, I was seated next to my ex who has harassed me ever since our breakup. When I asked the teacher after class if I could please have a seat change, she told me I would have to write a 3-page essay on why I made the request. FML

I agree, your life sucks

12479

You deserved it

970

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By milamadeleine243 - 22/10/2020 14:00

Runner up

Today, I finished a huge project for work. It took 3+ days and I was very proud of it. Except when I submitted it to my boss, he said that he'd already asked another person to do it. He used that person's project, not mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1114

You deserved it

312

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By oops - United States

Today, I walked past a church with a bunch of people standing outside waiting for the bride and groom to walk out. When the church doors opened, I yelled congratulations as loud as I could. It was a funeral. FML

I agree, your life sucks

23025

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80471

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By testom - Netherlands - Rotterdam

Today, my husband accidentally erased some pictures from our hard drive. No worries, nothing major: just everything from our wedding and the birth of our first child. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36594

You deserved it

3953

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By AppState - United States

Today, my dad had gotten a new cell phone. So I started to mess around with the cool features on his phone and stumbled upon some pictures he had taken. Next thing I know I'm looking at my mom going down on my dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks

52181

You deserved it

27195

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By Anonymous - United States - Wichita Falls

Today, my professor told everyone that he thinks all med students should be required to get a catheter and an enema at least once in their lives so they can relate to their patients, saying, "Gentlemen, it might change your lives." FML

I agree, your life sucks

41162

You deserved it

7257

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By Lio - France

Awkward

Today, thinking I was being very generous, I lent my jacket to a new co-worker. I guess I should have checked my pockets before I did, I’m not sure that leaving 3 different flavors of condoms in them made a good impression. FML

I agree, your life sucks

21044

You deserved it

41737

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By 1ndustrytx - United States

Today, I was awakened by the sound of chain-saws. Moments later a tree branch came through my roof. FML

I agree, your life sucks

48183

You deserved it

2210

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By JN5SLK - United States - Salt Lake City

Today, I walked into my dorm room, only to witness my roommate shaving her vag over my trashcan. FML

I agree, your life sucks

55920

You deserved it

4614

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By ironies a b*tch - United States - Chatham

Today, I dressed up as Batman for a comic book convention. I was hit by a car on the way there by a man dressed up as the Joker for the same convention. FML

I agree, your life sucks

67038

You deserved it

21698

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By bmaas - United States

Today, I was playing volleyball in gym when I went up for a spike. As I was coming down, I elbowed a girl in the face. It turns she's the second most important lead in our school musical, which we perform on Thursday. Her nose is broken. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31786

You deserved it

6061

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By Anonymous

Today, I stubbed my toe, and as I was hopping about clutching my toe and swearing like a drunken sailor, I turned and saw my boss, our CEO and pretty much the entire board of directors through the boardroom's open door. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1388

You deserved it

477

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By rinala

Today, my boyfriend decided to start an argument and storm off the train we were on. Two stops later, ticket inspectors hopped on the train. He had our tickets. FML

I agree, your life sucks

25719

You deserved it

3206

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By Anonymous - 10/4/2021 17:59 - Canada - Regina

Stuck

Today, I found out that I'm not getting a new position I applied for at my company. Now, I have to continue working for my boss, who recently severely criticized my spelling in my reports, only they weren't my reports, and when I pointed this out, she simply never responded. FML

I agree, your life sucks

774

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By helpme - United States - Annapolis

Today, I started dreaming about being at work. I already work more hours a week than I requested, and I live right across from my work and can see it out my window. I can never leave. FML

I agree, your life sucks

23290

You deserved it

2080

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By and not even in the good way - United States

Today, I thought it would be funny to smack my daughter's head gently with a balloon. It hit her hair clip and exploded. She won't stop crying, and my wife will be home any minute. I'm screwed. FML

I agree, your life sucks

46494

You deserved it

19863

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By leeceetaylor99 - United States - San Antonio

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend and my best friend making out. She claimed he was just tasting her lipstick. FML

I agree, your life sucks

55749

You deserved it

3861

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By socargone

Today, I'm so bad at parking that I saw the guy next to me openly cringe as I pulled into a spot. FML

I agree, your life sucks

5333

You deserved it

1876

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By Noah - United States - South Haven

Today, I was at a bar with my girlfriend, and I noticed an obnoxious guy from college I used to hang out with. I tried to avoid eye contact, but all of a sudden he shouted, "There's the guy who puked his margarita back into the glass!" Everyone stared. Yup, that was me, just last week. FML

I agree, your life sucks

13645

You deserved it

2855

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Top comments

By ZeldasSage | 0

#305375 - Monday 15 June 2009 0:58

Aww that sucks! Should've checked the weather forecast, though. =/

By paperfox_fml | 0

#305439 - Monday 15 June 2009 1:08

Yeah, it's such fucking hard work holding a hose for 10 minutes.

COMMENTS

By artcgirl | 0

#305371 - Monday 15 June 2009 0:57

1st! and ouch...

TylerAnderson98 | 10

#4512873 - Saturday 2 June 2012 19:19

Ugly ass bitch

Jiplo | 18

#5477401 - Saturday 4 May 2013 2:53

Comment moderated.

By ZeldasSage | 0

#305375 - Monday 15 June 2009 0:58

Aww that sucks! Should've checked the weather forecast, though. =/

cheerthefkupism | 0

#315302 - Wednesday 17 June 2009 21:53

Agreed. :)

Weather channel?

albert17 | 0

#884749 - Tuesday 23 February 2010 8:39

hell even a computer wouldve given you the weather forecast

abcnonamecba | 0

#1037216 - Sunday 20 June 2010 16:39

that would be silly XD

militarybrat | 21

#5585650 - Thursday 18 July 2013 3:43

Uh weather forecasts aren't 100%. A better thing to say was look at the clouds. Dark means heavy with water.

By jimmyh250 | 0

#305380 - Monday 15 June 2009 0:59

ahaa nice!!

By BAbyR | 0

#305381 - Monday 15 June 2009 0:59

and thats why you wait.
or next time check the weather.

By SluttyMcNugget | 0

#305383 - Monday 15 June 2009 0:59

OOOOH!! Your life is fucked forever...

By randomxtremely | 0

#305385 - Monday 15 June 2009 0:59

aw~the stupid weather channel lies~although that doesn't have anything to do with this. Hey, at least your plants didn't all die

By imtheman920 | 0

#305391 - Monday 15 June 2009 1:00

YDI. Check the weather forecast. Did you also get your car washed today as well?

By SP63_fml | 0

#305395 - Monday 15 June 2009 1:01

Reminds me of the time that I heard that one of my colleagues wasn't coming to work, so I did all of his work for him so we wouldn't fall behind. 30 minutes later, guess who shows up?

By irishlassie731 | 0

#305411 - Monday 15 June 2009 1:03

Check the weather forecast. Duh.

By kira1kira | 0

#305412 - Monday 15 June 2009 1:03

Hey! It not as cool as the rain man, u can't have that name