Today, I discovered that the only reason my husband is taking yoga classes with me is because he wants to be flexible enough to suck his own rod. FML
Add a comment - Reply to : #
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Create my account
Sign in
Top comments
By
saintsrocksocks
| 10
Well somebody has to do it if you won't.
By
ChefPhilly
| 13
Maybe somebody isn't doing their job enough...
COMMENTS
By
saintsrocksocks
| 10
Well somebody has to do it if you won't.
Reply
JiggaJayZ
| 16
Once he has reached his goal he will be completely independent and will no longer have a need for the female species. OP, I'd take a ride on that disco stick and see if you can change his mind before it's too late.
Reply
bigtaytay
| 13
I agree. That only says that he's doing it cuz OP never does
Reply
HelloGuys
| 4
Thats just nasty
Reply
saintsrocksocks
| 10
It is nasty but why'd you post it on my thread?
Reply
HowAreYouToday
| 34
Ah thread-jackers. The horror, eh?
Reply
saintsrocksocks
| 10
The thought of them gives me the creeps.
Reply
gottalovecondoms
| 0
I do it, I don't care what anyone thinks.
Reply
nevershoutkendal_fml
| 10
45- I guess you don't understand the Cleveland reference.
Reply
iGrassYourSister
| 6
wow finally I can agree with someone on fml
Reply
FMLoverAgain
| 7
I want to be talented like you
Reply
saintsrocksocks
| 10
Well Kendall does it have anything to do with my thread?
Reply
cajekraze
| 7
If you want something done right...
Reply
greenie213
| 23
...then you ask Chuck Norris to Do it.
Reply
_duhastmich
| 11
He could always just get a rib removed.
Reply
_duhastmich
| 11
34 - definitely just read that in Cleveland's voice. Made me lol
Reply
sens3sfailing
| 24
Uuuhhh...no. Your ribs are not what prevents one from being able to suck ones own rob. It's your spine that would need to bend more for it be possible, ribs have nothing to do with it. That stuff about Marilyn Manson getting ribs removed to do that is bs. He may very well have gotten ribs removed, but it wouldn't have allowed him to do that on its own
Reply
missmurderx
| 8
There's a gay kid with a mild form of autism at my school that took a video of him sucking himself on his iPod and showed it to people. :/
Reply
saintsrocksocks
| 10
Wow, already broadcasting himself as a pornstar?
Reply
Tylerdre
| 6
Well this fml kinda blows ._.
Reply
tjv3
| 10
Doesn't he realize that even though it is his own dick that he is still sucking a dick? Hope he puts ketchup on it
Reply
Dimence
| 9
I've heard that the main cause of cheating is because ones partner cannot do the job. Your husband seems to have found another solution, you should be thankful op! Now make sure you suck that dick better next time, because if yoga fails, he might find someone else who does it for him...
Reply
ShadowPeo
| 11
Beat me to it
Reply
Gregory607
| 1
Well done number 1
Reply
DKjazz
| 20
I stood up and cheered, #1.
Reply
BulldogHoops
| 14
I doubt that, # 210.
Reply
saintsrocksocks
| 10
228, shh, you're just jealous of 210s awesomeness.
Reply
carriema
| 7
Am I the only one wondering how she found this out?
Reply
krmc822
| 6
Bwahahaha
Reply
QuiProQuo_fml
| 1
Marylin Manson much??
By
Redoxx_fml
| 22
Chakras everyone love chakras
Reply
DracoSpirita
| 21
What do chakras have to do with the FML at all?
Reply
SqueakyChipmunk
| 20
If everyone loves chakras, everybody hates Chris.
Reply
wistfulorangeade
| 12
Chakra sandwich is good! Yum.
Reply
Rano0o
| 10
Chakra
Reply
killdozer1
| 2
If you want to suck your dick, just have your floating ribs removed.
By
NOOBSQUAD
| 0
Tell him just to get rid of some ribs, problem solved :)
Reply
TheLoneWolf87
| 4
Marilyn Manson?
Reply
saintsrocksocks
| 10
Noob would it make you gay if you sucked your own dick?
Reply
NOOBSQUAD
| 0
If your motive is to do homosexualy then yes
Reply
nevershoutkendal_fml
| 10
Her husband wouldn't be gay. He could be bisexual, or just like masturbating that way. If he was gay, he wouldn't have a wife, and would be with another guy. Yes, there's always the possibility that he's in the closet, but honestly?
Reply
lonkite101
| 14
It's just a form of masturbation...
Reply
NOOBSQUAD
| 0
I remember reading a FML about a woman who's husband of some odd number of kids, and husband of 7 years told her that he was gay and the only way he was able to achieve an erection was because she looked like a man.
Reply
saintsrocksocks
| 10
Maybe he's using his wife as a cover up. You never know sometimes.
Reply
NOOBSQUAD
| 0
Ionkiye if a man wants a penis in his mouth he is either gay or bisexual
Reply
saintsrocksocks
| 10
Noob I remember that FML
Reply
DocBastard
| 38
Noobsquad - No. If a man is sexually attracted to men, THAT makes him homosexual (or bisexual if he is attracted to women also). Autofellatio is a form of masturbation, not gay sex.
Reply
NOOBSQUAD
| 0
Sucking your own penis may still be masturbating, but you can't say that you aren't gay or bisexual if your sucking a dick and liking it. And I know this is gonna get thumbed down because I'm arguing with docbastard.
Reply
nevershoutkendal_fml
| 10
*you're
And it's your own dick! And every time you jack off, that means you like a penis in your hand. So that's the equivalent of jacking another man off, right? Of course not.
And it's your own dick! And every time you jack off, that means you like a penis in your hand. So that's the equivalent of jacking another man off, right? Of course not.
Reply
DocBastard
| 38
No, it's going to get thumbed down because you're dead wrong. Sucking a dick doesn't make you gay, especially if it is your own.
Look up "homosexuality", and nowhere in the definition is "If you suck a dick, you're gay" found.
Look up "homosexuality", and nowhere in the definition is "If you suck a dick, you're gay" found.
Reply
perdix
| 29
#15, no, that would make you autosexual.
Reply
Enslaved
| 36
Just wait 'til some of you guys masturbate and think-- I must be gay 'cause I'm enjoying stroking this penis in my hand.
I'd love to know what ends up going through your head.:P Happy petting!
I'd love to know what ends up going through your head.:P Happy petting!
Reply
saintsrocksocks
| 10
Perdix it would make you auto of all you did was hand anal and giving yourself blow jobs. Now of you had sex with other people no you wouldn't be auto you'd be masturbating.
Reply
NOOBSQUAD
| 0
Im really not gonna argue because the truth is you could masturbate with your hand to heterosexual porn and people aren't gonna think you're gay, but if you're sucking your own cock (obviously you can't see the porn) then people will question your motive.
Reply
DocBastard
| 38
And there is your problem, Noobsquad - who the fuck cares what other people think your motives are? If someone thinks you're gay, does that make you gay?
Reply
NOOBSQUAD
| 0
No it doesn't make you gay, because someone thinks you are, but you can't say who cares, because as humans are emotions will make us feel like it matters that someone thinks we are something that we are not, for example if I told everyone docbastard sucks his own dick and everyone believes you are gay you would care wouldn't you?
Reply
paolayupp
| 6
He needs to do it Marylin Manson style.
Reply
NOOBSQUAD
| 0
Docbastard that was a good argument.
Reply
saintsrocksocks
| 10
Noob apparently the moderators don't want to listen to you...
Reply
nevershoutkendal_fml
| 10
I wonder why the mods deleted that thread.
Reply
shadexilmaendu
| 4
Manson never did that actually. The rumor started because one of his girlfriends would dress up as him and suck his dick on stage ;p
Reply
br0ccoli
| 14
155- They can have a girl suck his dick on stage?!?! Isn't there a sanctioning body shitting bricks about that?
Reply
KiddNYC1O
| 20
At least the head wasn't bitten off as in other concerts...
By
ChefPhilly
| 13
Maybe somebody isn't doing their job enough...
Reply
Allahu_Akbar
| 1
How do you know OP is a prostitute?
Reply
MichellinMan
| 20
^ I think you've skipped a few levels.
Reply
madskittlesftw
| 5
156- I thought the same thing but then I looked at 5's picture.. Coincidence? I think not.
Reply
bitchwhore
| 20
Wow 136, that escalated quickly...
Reply
shihtzupup98
| 3
It isn't her job to suck his dick just because she is his wife.....
By
kittycat2007
| 18
sounds like a good reason. Hes still spending time with you. Enjoy it.
Reply
ImaginaryFoe
| 0
Exactly. Enjoy spending time with him then really enjoy how cut his abs will be from all the crunches he'll be doing trying to get into position.
By
mercsl65
| 7
let and watching him look comoketely ridiculous. im assuming you have tried fulfilled his desire with your own umm abilities
Reply
thatKidzmOm
| 10
I'm confused :-/
Reply
putloginhere
| 6
Same.. Can you retype that for us?
Reply
saintsrocksocks
| 10
English please?
Reply
ManInTheMachine
| 19
Doc! Your Idiot English Translation Engine is gonna get a workout today!
Reply
fbear10
| 5
Well... I think what was trying to be said was,
"let him do it and watch him look completely ridiculous " .... I assume that everyone gets the rest... ??
"let him do it and watch him look completely ridiculous " .... I assume that everyone gets the rest... ??
Reply
badg3r4life
| 0
Woah... Grammar is important as well as spelling...
Reply
DocBastard
| 38
It's already been working on it for 10 minutes! Stand by...
*whirr* *bzzz* *click* *DING!*
"Let him try, and watch him look completely ridiculous. I'm assuming you have tried fulfilling his desires but don't have the, um, abilities. Isn't huffing paint fumes through a used diaper fun?"
You're welcome.
*whirr* *bzzz* *click* *DING!*
"Let him try, and watch him look completely ridiculous. I'm assuming you have tried fulfilling his desires but don't have the, um, abilities. Isn't huffing paint fumes through a used diaper fun?"
You're welcome.
Reply
swankmrpancake
| 8
Once again doc comes to the rescue. Where would we be without that amazing translator?
Reply
Eiregal2
| 10
Confused.com,that's where!
Reply
Llamacod
| 11
bravo doc, bravo
By
Paco_el_Taco
| 17
Don't knock it until you've tried it!
But yeah, pretty pathetic.
But yeah, pretty pathetic.
By
novakdawg
| 1
I think that's a sign that you "suck" at sucking the schlong
Reply
ydi_4_suking
| 20
I think it's more like OP is lacking on schlong sucking
Reply
ProhibitionRose
| 14
Or maybe OPs husband prefers strong male lips wrapped around him instead?
By
Bliss391
| 7
You know I've heard guys say that if they would they could, but I've never known any of them to put effort into it like that. I'm not sure if this is an fml or just very odd.
Reply
lonkite101
| 14
10- of course it's an FML, because its on FML. And plus do you mean if they could they would?
Reply
Bliss391
| 7
Yes, my apologies that is what I meant. And I don't know about you, but I have seen a couple fml's on here that I really didn't think we're fml situations.
By
nevershoutkendal_fml
| 10
I heard a rumor that Marilyn Manson cut out a few of his ribs to be able to do it. Yes, that rumor is false, but it damn sure is creative. OP's husband, take a hint.
Reply
StupidBunnies
| 10
Manson had his stage partner dress up to look identical to him do it, hence people saying he sucked his dick.
Reply
nevershoutkendal_fml
| 10
I'm a MM fan. I knew that wasn't true. Re-read my comment.