Today, I woke up to two text messages from my mother. The first said, "You could've had this for breakfast. How do you like your eggs?" The next text was a picture message of her naked. I think it was meant to be sent to her boyfriend. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I decided to send my boyfriend a pic text of me naked. I accidentally sent it to my dad and got a text back saying, "You definitely take after your mom." FML
Today, I made my mom breakfast in bed for her birthday. She was naked when I went to give it to her. FML
Today, I sent a romantic, flirty text to my boyfriend. A few minutes later, I got a reply from… my mom, saying, “I don’t think this was meant for me, but thanks for making my day awkward.” FML
Today, I got a text from a woman containing many naked pictures of her. Apparently she meant to send those to her boyfriend whose number is one digit from mine. The bad part? My girlfriend was using my phone when I received that message. FML
Today, my mom asked me to take a picture of her and a friend before they went out to dinner. I was getting ready to take the picture when I noticed the box showing the most recent picture. It was a nude. Of my mom. FML
Today, my dad asked me to send my mom a text since he was driving and I was in the passenger seat. I pulled up my mom's contact on his phone, and I found that my mom had recently sent my dad a picture of her jugs, along with the message, "We miss you." FML
Today, my mother got a call from our old high school saying that they had fifteen freshmen boys in his office with a nude photo of me on their phones. I had sent that photo only to my boyfriend. Apparently he loves to share me. FML
Today, I sent a love message to my wife asking if she was horny. Minutes later, I realized that I sent it to my mother in law. FML
Today, I found out that the messages about the issues in my sex life that I'd been sending to my best friend had been sent to my mother via iMessage. She's coming over for dinner tomorrow. FML
Today, I woke up, thinking it was going to be a good day. However, when I looked at my phone, I saw that my girlfriend had sent me an obscene number of angry messages, which are still coming in, because I forgot to say goodnight to her last night. FML
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Top comments
I_iz_B_a_troll 23
Your dad likes em "over easy" while hes makin it "hard boiled" for your mom, eh? I hope this doesn't "scramble" your relationship, but let's be optimistic and stay "sunny-side up" (; Well those were some eggstremely lame puns! :P
littlexlion 4
Text her that you're a vegan.
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Comments (118)
CoachLlama 5
"Breakfast in bed" just took on a whole new meaning.
jkpajama 0
nuthin like a scar-for-life to wake up in the morning!!!
varkey 7
OMG thats horrible... FYL
Scoty12C 6
tool
truthbetoldxoxo 0
Thats horrible!! I have to sat that would scar me for life too! Good luck getting that out of your brain. FYL!!
RebelHeart7 0
gross
Kehaulani1994 0
sounds delicious hahahaha. is ur mom a milf? jk jk. honest mistake, that women did give birth to you and u kno what a chick body looks like. chill out. it's not like she's the fattest and most ugly person alive ha
XxMoonGirlAshomi 0
oh my ******* god 0.o that's a real FML. oh the horar...
restythestar 0
I smell cougar
Wirebiter 0
Well, how were your eggs?