By ahhhhhh - United States - Philadelphia Today, I made my mom breakfast in bed for her birthday. She was naked when I went to give it to her. FML I agree, your life sucks 32534 You deserved it 6454 97 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Canada Today, my friends took me to a strip club for my 25th birthday. I went onstage with 5 dollars in my mouth to tip the dancer. She then took off my belt and pants and spanked me 25 times with the buckle end of the belt. I paid a stripper 5 dollars to whoop my ass. FML I agree, your life sucks 10623 You deserved it 38314 115 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Phoenix Today, I found out that when I asked my buddy to make sure my girlfriend was safe while I was abroad, he really did; he even used a condom. FML I agree, your life sucks 49190 You deserved it 4784 88 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By leahrb - United States - Wilmington Today, my boyfriend came over for the first time to meet my parents. The first words out of my dad's mouth were, "Son, I want you to suck upon my nipples of knowledge." FML I agree, your life sucks 21244 You deserved it 1871 57 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By B1N Today, I took a shower and went to put clothes on after, only to find no clothes in my closet. My mom took them all and hid them. No idea why. No idea when I will get them back. FML I agree, your life sucks 1876 You deserved it 205 8 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By MDoremis - United States - Honolulu Today, I bought How To Train Your Dragon and the cashier started complaining how her kids keep demanding dragon stuff and that mine will start after they see the movie. I don't have any kids, and I didn't have the courage to tell her I was buying it for myself. FML I agree, your life sucks 29992 You deserved it 5321 136 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Wick - United States Today, I got a speeding ticket while driving to my court date for a prior speeding ticket. FML I agree, your life sucks 15988 You deserved it 115151 209 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, I went to pick up my little brother from his friend's house. When I got there, he ran off screaming that he didn't know me. His friend's parents believed him. FML I agree, your life sucks 46878 You deserved it 3232 83 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Brooklyn Today, a co-worker asked me if I have a Facebook account, and I said I do. I had to politely smile as he spent the next half hour insulting me for supposedly being glued to it 24/7, before claiming that it's all a CIA front to steal people's social security details. Why are nutjobs like this even alive? FML I agree, your life sucks 21254 You deserved it 3239 129 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By idrow Today, a bear dragged my neighbor's garbage across the street and stopped right in the middle of my front yard, where it proceeded to scatter the contents and have a feast. When it was finished, it took a massive dump on my lawn. FML I agree, your life sucks 2940 You deserved it 189 18 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By HttpsHaileyy - United States Today, I insulted my younger sister's hamster. She then smashed me with a stool. FML I agree, your life sucks 27707 You deserved it 9545 124 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous Today, three days before their rent was due, my fiancé's friends moved out of our basement without saying a word to us. On their way out, they took an envelope from my locked desk with $800 in it that was for our wedding in six months. FML I agree, your life sucks 4169 You deserved it 284 19 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By sugar - United States Today, my boyfriend of two years told his friend that he decided a long time ago that he would never be faithful to a woman. I was sitting next to him. FML I agree, your life sucks 32943 You deserved it 3323 80 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By eleonor - France Today, I sent a text message to my boyfriend, saying "Come over in an hour, I love you." An hour later, the doorbell rang. It was my ex, looking happy and still as taken with me as before, with a bunch of roses. I'd got the wrong number. My ex and my boyfriend have the same name. FML I agree, your life sucks 15100 You deserved it 44254 106 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By flowerging - United States - Stony Brook Today, I offered to pay my boyfriend to buy me flowers. He still refused. FML I agree, your life sucks 44402 You deserved it 16218 126 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By j_Lauren - United States Today, my mom had the option of choosing anywhere in the world where we could go on vacation. We live in the USA and she chose to fly to Texas, rent an RV, and drive to Florida. Anywhere in the world. FML I agree, your life sucks 37493 You deserved it 3295 138 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Skullie - United States Today, my boyfriend poked me on Facebook. I got excited because this is as close as he's come to touching me in weeks. FML I agree, your life sucks 30738 You deserved it 4937 123 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Tigerlily Today, my cat thanked me for buying her a new litterbox by peeing in all of my plants. FML I agree, your life sucks 4120 You deserved it 593 9 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By me. - United States Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex when the condom broke. He told me to go put a tampon in to "soak up the kids". How did he graduate? FML I agree, your life sucks 48401 You deserved it 7306 151 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Grossed Out - United States Today, my mother got incredibly drunk. She told me that only "sluts and whores" shave their pubes. She then told me that she's never once trimmed or shaved her pubes, because she's "moral." Thanks for that mental image, mom. FML I agree, your life sucks 35677 You deserved it 3084 187 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By ryansmithho - United States Today, I was going to propose to my girlfriend of 4 years. I took the whole day to cook a nice meal, and stuck the ring in a cookie that I was going to give to her. In the middle of the dinner I was holding the cookie under the table, about to give it to her. My dog ate it. FML I agree, your life sucks 40713 You deserved it 14838 127 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By JustShutUp Today, my neighbour was singing in the shower so loud that I could understand every word. He was singing "Purple Rain", which wouldn't have been so bad if he only knew a bit more of the lyrics. He has been singing those same two words for half an hour now. FML I agree, your life sucks 13423 You deserved it 920 30 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - New Zealand - Wellington Market crash Today, my son took some of my underwear to school. What's worse is he sold it to his classmate for $10. FML I agree, your life sucks 1690 You deserved it 136 8 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, I actually considered my boyfriend romantic and deserving of an award when he didn't fart after sex. FML I agree, your life sucks 38815 You deserved it 6684 118 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By After vacation Today, I got back from vacation and walked in on my boyfriend and my brother in my bed. FML I agree, your life sucks 3273 You deserved it 252 7 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By rhcp007 - United Kingdom - Potters Bar Today, I went to drop my little brother off at the nursery. As I walked in, a boy punched me in the dick and ran away. FML I agree, your life sucks 3305 You deserved it 279 6 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous Today, one of my employees was fired for refusing to do a basic job necessity. After the meeting with HR, he left the office and tried to go back to work. FML I agree, your life sucks 1610 You deserved it 153 2 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 6/1/2021 23:30 - United States - Wynnewood USA Number One! Today, I live in the same country that deployed the National Guard to suppress peaceful BLM protests, yet allowed a bunch of psychotic Trump supporters to break into the Capitol. I’m ashamed to be human right now. FML I agree, your life sucks 1357 You deserved it 539 13 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, a homeless man bathed himself in the restroom at my coffee shop in West LA. He locked himself in there for a good twenty minutes. The lingering smell was so strong that my other coworker vomited. Thanks to what is apparently a relatively strong gag reflex, I got to clean up. FML I agree, your life sucks 47969 You deserved it 2857 97 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Dontworryaboutit - United States Today, I tried to get my girlfriend of nine months to have oral sex with me. She was eating a hot dog. She then said, "If you ask me again, this is what I'll do to you." She then bit the hot dog in half. FML I agree, your life sucks 11373 You deserved it 38667 218 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United Kingdom Today, I found out the reason my boyfriend dumped me was because his parents don't like the fact that I go to a prestigious university. However, they're completely accepting of the drunken slob who's dating their daughter. FML I agree, your life sucks 38580 You deserved it 3734 59 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, I drove my new car with a manual transmission for the first time by myself. I was at a stoplight and saw a cute guy in the car next to me. He looked my way and gave me "the nod". The light turned green and I tried to go but I stalled out, lurching my car forward right into the car next to me. FML I agree, your life sucks 8282 You deserved it 26649 66 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, my daughter turned 18. She decided to use this day to tell me everywhere her and her boyfriends have had sex in my house to get revenge for being overprotective. FML I agree, your life sucks 25465 You deserved it 62862 361 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 14/12/2020 17:58 - Canada - Moncton Thanks, babe Today, it’s my birthday. My boyfriend of almost 4 years completely forgot. FML I agree, your life sucks 842 You deserved it 95 5 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Ishnar - 2/2/2021 05:01 - United States PMS PSA Today, while my partner usually has their work mic muted, I went in and complained about my period. Turns out today was the one day they didn't have it muted. Their whole team heard, and I used to work with some of them. FML I agree, your life sucks 303 You deserved it 752 3 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By anon... - United States - Washington Today, I broke up with my boyfriend of almost 4 months. He was always worried I would cheat on him, so he cheated on me. FML I agree, your life sucks 15318 You deserved it 1040 59 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By spreadburger - United States - Tampa Today, my co-worker threw a rubber mallet at my face, and I broke my finger in the process of saving my face. She then told me to "take it up with HR, bitch". She's the HR manager. FML I agree, your life sucks 36836 You deserved it 2822 85 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By shampoomice - United States - La Porte Today, I noticed that my new shampoo had an unfamiliar pink color to it. After some investigation, I found a dead mouse that had apparently cut itself on the bottle pump. I've been washing my hair with mouse blood. FML I agree, your life sucks 61756 You deserved it 5406 163 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By azmom - United States - Phoenix Today, I dropped off my 19 year old daughter at her first job. It's at a strip club. FML I agree, your life sucks 34226 You deserved it 26148 486 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Username - United Kingdom Today, at the age of 17, I had my first kiss with the girl I've liked for over a year. However, it was a stage kiss and the girl has made it clear that she finds me repulsive. FML I agree, your life sucks 42494 You deserved it 4600 246 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By fullmoonfml - United States Today, I thought it would be funny to moon people out of my friend's car window. I rolled down the window and mooned a random couple. You should have seen the looks on their faces when I had to get out of the car and pick up my phone and wallet, which were in my back pocket. FML I agree, your life sucks 6155 You deserved it 57527 93 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Welshite | 39 #6200889 - Friday 13 February 2015 0:12 It's not called a birthday suit for nothing. Send a private message 287 7 Reply
By GOtllt | 17 #6200872 - Friday 13 February 2015 0:09 If she was sleeping, pretend like you didn't see. Best not to scar both of you. Send a private message 194 3 Reply
By GOtllt | 17 #6200872 - Friday 13 February 2015 0:09 If she was sleeping, pretend like you didn't see. Best not to scar both of you. Send a private message 194 3 Reply
Reply 1PersonIsMyWorld | 22 #6201108 - Friday 13 February 2015 5:14 wonder if mom was naked with dad or just sleeps naked... could be more weird one way lol Send a private message 11 3 Reply
Reply hugozac88 | 22 #6201186 - Friday 13 February 2015 7:32 It's the only way to sleep Send a private message 15 1 Reply
By mikepzz | 27 #6200876 - Friday 13 February 2015 0:10 A lot of people sleep naked, nice gesture anyway. Send a private message 95 4 Reply
Reply IAmzephyr | 22 #6200935 - Friday 13 February 2015 0:36 or maybe her mother got a gift from her lover beforehand? Send a private message 2 38 Reply
Reply Roskosity | 22 #6201096 - Friday 13 February 2015 4:50 I'm sleeping naked right now... Well almost sleeping. Send a private message 22 7 Reply
Reply mikepzz | 27 #6201344 - Friday 13 February 2015 12:49 Haha me too lol Send a private message 2 3 Reply
By Araj_Hs | 19 #6200880 - Friday 13 February 2015 0:11 You should have knocked before you entered, my friend! Or if you had not entered and got a sneak peek, just pretend like it never happened hahahah Send a private message 70 2 Reply
By brunettesara5722 | 17 #6200881 - Friday 13 February 2015 0:11 Lol. if your saw nothing no big deal Send a private message 22 6 Reply
By Misoranomegami | 16 #6200882 - Friday 13 February 2015 0:11 Looks like your dad already have get his present. Send a private message 13 40 Reply
Reply Misoranomegami | 16 #6200892 - Friday 13 February 2015 0:13 gave her even. stupid autocorrect Send a private message 3 34 Reply
Reply ohSNAPyall | 26 #6200934 - Friday 13 February 2015 0:34 Just a slip of the tongue. Don't gotta blame autocorrect. Send a private message 5 28 Reply
Reply DoomSkuller | 28 #6200993 - Friday 13 February 2015 1:44 or a slip of the finger, rather Send a private message 7 22 Reply
Reply wvcheesehead | 13 #6201056 - Friday 13 February 2015 3:46 Maybe the tongue was the present. Send a private message 22 6 Reply
By RMLrapemylife | 14 #6200886 - Friday 13 February 2015 0:12 le sexy time? ;) Send a private message 6 56 Reply
Reply buckstop1 | 37 #6200975 - Friday 13 February 2015 1:19 Le Down Vote Send a private message 55 8 Reply
By BntyHntrSeattle | 30 #6200887 - Friday 13 February 2015 0:12 I hope you didn't get eggsited. Send a private message 5 36 Reply
Reply False_Stupidity | 41 #6200910 - Friday 13 February 2015 0:19 You mean excited (the FML has nothing to do with eggs) and that would be very disturbing. Send a private message 7 35 Reply
Reply Nymeria_fml | 25 #6200913 - Friday 13 February 2015 0:20 It has nothing to do with eggs... unless OP made eggs for breakfast... Send a private message 49 2 Reply
Reply MrSassypants | 32 #6200944 - Friday 13 February 2015 0:45 Those two eggs made sunny side up would never look the same to OP ever again. Send a private message 30 3 Reply
By Welshite | 39 #6200889 - Friday 13 February 2015 0:12 It's not called a birthday suit for nothing. Send a private message 287 7 Reply
Reply JayDay_123 | 18 #6201905 - Saturday 14 February 2015 1:33 Ironically enough, they seem to be wearing nothing. Send a private message 0 6 Reply
By False_Stupidity | 41 #6200899 - Friday 13 February 2015 0:16 Some things cannot be unseen and while it was a lovely gesture on your part to make he breakfast, you should always check if it's ok to come in before entering just in case of exactly this. Many people sleep naked, even parents. Send a private message 36 1 Reply
By xxNIGHTxx_fml | 17 #6200901 - Friday 13 February 2015 0:16 That's what knocking on doors are for. Send a private message 33 4 Reply
Reply Ironmanplus | 12 #6200974 - Friday 13 February 2015 1:18 Agreed Send a private message 6 3 Reply
Reply elvispaada | 11 #6201670 - Friday 13 February 2015 20:17 she was probably asleep Send a private message 4 0 Reply
Today, I got home from work a few hours early to find my mum cheating, right in the middle of the act. So much for a nice afternoon off. FML I agree, your life sucks 759 You deserved it 53 4 Comments
Today, barely able to pay rent while working 3 jobs, I decided to give in to the idea of making online sex work photos and videos. Everyone else seems... I agree, your life sucks 890 You deserved it 313 6 Comments