Today, my wife and I were watching a football game. While someone was about to score, she started screaming, "Go!" and "Come on! You can do it! Go baby, go!" My first thought was that I wished I could still make her scream like that. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I went to my son's soccer game. I cheered his name at the top my lungs and waved with a grin on my face. I saw him whisper something to a team mate so I watched the film my husband took later that night. His friend asked, "Who is that?" and my son replied, "I don't know some fat bitch." FML
Today, for once, I managed to get my boyfriend's mind off the hockey game. I muted the TV and cuddled up to him. Only thirty seconds into snuggling, he shoved me onto the floor and screamed, "GOAL!" FML
Today, the TV was blaring, the kids were yelling, and my wife was blabbering on in my ear. Overwhelmed, I shouted, "EVERYONE QUIET!" I got a second of blessed silence before my kids started screaming and crying, and my wife threw a tantrum, saying, "I married a psycho!" FML
Today, my wife and I were having amazing make up sex after several months of painful separation. Halfway through, she screamed for me to stop, climbed off the bed, and ran into the bathroom. She spent an hour screaming and crying, then came out and emotionlessly told me to leave. FML
Today, I thought it would be romantic to propose to my girlfriend during halftime at a local football game. I arranged everything with the stadium staff. When the moment came, I got down on one knee, only for her to hiss, "Are you serious? Right here?" She ran off, leaving me kneeling in front of hundreds of people. FML
Today, an attractive woman looked in my direction and smiled. My wife saw this and stomped on my foot, and I screamed like a little girl from the pain. People turned and stared. FML
Today, while at a football game, I had my arm around my girlfriend. We were really close and I was just about to kiss her when suddenly her phone rang. It was her dad, telling her he's watching. FML
Today, I was doing it with my girlfriend. Trying to be sexy, I moaned her name. She replied, "What?" FML
Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She promptly had a panic attack and screamed, "No!" FML
Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She was so happy that she began flapping her hands around and screaming. She was flapping her hands so hard she smacked herself in the face and started crying. FML
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Top comments
EvilLittleMan 23
OP, I think your wife has benched you.
Pleonasm 35
Look, it's not about how well you score, it's about how much of a team player you are.
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Comments (63)
woainishamu 21
You can. Footballs or your balls, they're the same.
teyyoshi 19
short but exquisite
N_i_c_o_l_a_s__ 4
She knows a thing or two about men with balls
smokecloud_ 37
Nothin' makes a girl scream like a man in shoulder pads and skintight pants running through a wall of other men to put the ball in the goal. *dreamy sigh*
GingerRoot 13
Totally agree
swick25 22
^ great thought #14 I have to completely agree with your comment. Even though I am a lesbian it is very hot to watch men in shoulder pads and skin tight pants beating on one another!!!
DanielleinDC 33
I like my men on ice. (My idea of a six pack on ice is three forwards, two defensemen, and a goalie.)
paigexox0 37
Oh come on, I'm sure if you tried hard enough you could. Go OP go!!
perdix 29
Bring on a mad-dog blitz, come with big pressure in the middle while sealing off the edges and you'll have her screaming in no time. On three, hut hut hut!
N_i_c_o_l_a_s__ 4
She would rather a man who can do something with balls
Brianna_Ray 23
Do some roleplay where you are a sexy football player ;-)
tellyc 27
Practice makes perfect
Polynomial 28
What are you, 30 years old?
swick25 22
Um #20 why does it matter if OP is 18 or 80? I don't understand your stupid ass comment. Care to explain it so maybe everyone can understand why you are saying this!!
karlcolt45 19
well maybe try some roleplay...just for kicks?