Today, my wife and I were watching a football game. While someone was about to score, she started screaming, "Go!" and "Come on! You can do it! Go baby, go!" My first thought was that I wished I could still make her scream like that. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I went to my son's soccer game. I cheered his name at the top my lungs and waved with a grin on my face. I saw him whisper something to a team mate so I watched the film my husband took later that night. His friend asked, "Who is that?" and my son replied, "I don't know some fat bitch." FML
Today, for once, I managed to get my boyfriend's mind off the hockey game. I muted the TV and cuddled up to him. Only thirty seconds into snuggling, he shoved me onto the floor and screamed, "GOAL!" FML
Today, the TV was blaring, the kids were yelling, and my wife was blabbering on in my ear. Overwhelmed, I shouted, "EVERYONE QUIET!" I got a second of blessed silence before my kids started screaming and crying, and my wife threw a tantrum, saying, "I married a psycho!" FML
Today, my wife and I were having amazing make up sex after several months of painful separation. Halfway through, she screamed for me to stop, climbed off the bed, and ran into the bathroom. She spent an hour screaming and crying, then came out and emotionlessly told me to leave. FML
Today, I thought it would be romantic to propose to my girlfriend during halftime at a local football game. I arranged everything with the stadium staff. When the moment came, I got down on one knee, only for her to hiss, "Are you serious? Right here?" She ran off, leaving me kneeling in front of hundreds of people. FML
Today, an attractive woman looked in my direction and smiled. My wife saw this and stomped on my foot, and I screamed like a little girl from the pain. People turned and stared. FML
Today, while at a football game, I had my arm around my girlfriend. We were really close and I was just about to kiss her when suddenly her phone rang. It was her dad, telling her he's watching. FML
Today, I was doing it with my girlfriend. Trying to be sexy, I moaned her name. She replied, "What?" FML
Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She promptly had a panic attack and screamed, "No!" FML
Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She was so happy that she began flapping her hands around and screaming. She was flapping her hands so hard she smacked herself in the face and started crying. FML
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Top comments
EvilLittleMan 23
OP, I think your wife has benched you.
Pleonasm 35
Look, it's not about how well you score, it's about how much of a team player you are.
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Comments (63)
BobbieH 19
At least you care to make her scream like that again. Now you two have to communicate about how to make that happen again. You've got the desire, next is to find ways to get the spark going again. Good luck OP!
Omniprism 14
You can you just have to put a little thought and a little more effort into it.
DanielleinDC 33
Well, the next time she starts screaming and shouting during a game, why not say that you wished you could make her scream like that? If your sex life has fallen into a rut, someone has to say something to get it going again.
Nastorrian 11
You still could, Instead of whining that you can't, why don't you learn or re-learn your ladies body and her needs. Just a thought.
Aokii 5
So spice things up a bit.
icepick23 12
Try giving her oral sex?
nitrog100 21
OK, now you're making me think that my neighbors might not have just been watching the Broncos game on Sunday...Creepy...
fmlrulesBolt 14
Someone already said what I was going to say. Eh guys should play fantasy football she might scream more.
katiz 1
You need to have a talk with her to find out what she likes and what she wants.
DogStew 20
challenge accepted