By danny395 - 13/01/2014 15:37 - United Kingdom

Today, before a blind date with a girl set up by my flatmate, I put some aftershave on. Then I realised I had forgotten my contact lenses. When I put them in it caused so much pain that in my attempt to reach the bathroom I walked into a wall. When I got there, she saw my swollen face and left. FML
I agree, your life sucks 46 289
You deserved it 8 363

danny395 tells us more.

danny395 8

OP here this is the first time I've had a post accepted so i thought i should elaborate because I hate it when people don't explain. The reason I wasn't wearing glasses is I've been assured by many people that I look pretty stupid in my glasses and I thought it would be best to make a good first impression (I know its vain but I wanted to impress). I also only put one contact lens in so my left eye was fine but my sight is so bad (-6.25 if your'e interested) that i cant see anything at all without my glasses + Im fairly tall and live on the top floor with some crazily steep stairs so its pretty hard to get down in the best of times but a mix of the pain plus bad sight meant i slipped and sent myself into the wall. I realise I should have washed my hands first but i was in a rush and i didn't want to be late, kind of ironic considering I ended up being about an hour late trying to sort out this particular mess. Worse of all I ended up wearing my glasses anyway... In defence I've been assured by my flatmate that the girl is really nice but not very outgoing and quite shy, she didn't really want to be there and I was so late I can understand she left when I arrived looking like I'd been in a couple of MMA fights... And #3 I appreciate you seeing the irony in 'blind' date :)

Top comments

evan_7899 28

That would sting like hell, flush your eyes with water OP for a good 15 mins


evan_7899 28

That would sting like hell, flush your eyes with water OP for a good 15 mins

Well it is "OneEyedDan" so at least he can use one of two eyes.

JMichael 25

The better question. How'd he type it?

His dick. What do you think One-eyed is?

I doubt this is what really happened... but the first rule is he's not suppose to talk about it

Now would you call him Cap'n One Eyed Dan, or Johnny Test?

I don't mean to be a jerk, but isn't That a kids show #58? my little cousins watch that... They are 3 and 5 years old...

Exactly...if she couldn't even show him some sympathy and help...she is definitely not worth it.

How do you forget to wash your hands? YDI

jazzy_123 20

It's like when you eat something spicy and get it on your hands.. and you forget about it and don't wash them... then you rub your eye... and it hurts like hell.

but you should always wash your hands properly before putting contacts in, regardless of what you've been doing previously. It's just basic health and hygiene

shyeahh_fml 19

I don't know why 5 got thumbed down. It's important to wash one's hands before putting in contacts. I've been wearing them since 6th grade and that's not one of the corners that can be cut. It should be habit for anyone who's worn contacts for even a week...

Yeah, have done that, jalepenos in the eyes, and holy hell that hurts! Is why you always wash hands before touching your eyes.

C'mon, don't tell me you've never had 3 seconds to put your contacts in and skipped washing! I've had contacts for about 3 years now and even when I go without washing my eye doctor says that they look pretty clean.

You should have asked her "what, you don't like swoll men?" Hahaha...right?....I'll stop typing now.

Misfortunes never come singly OP. Hope you get a second chance with her. Good luck :-)

Greenteamextreme 16

Why would he want a second chance? She sounds like a vain and heartless bitch if she just ran off!

jonnied23 20

I know how you feel, putting in contacts can be a bitch.

That really was a blind date eh Ba dum tss

And she didn't even give you a chance to explain?! She doesn't deserve you then OP. Good luck finding a better date :)

I hate to side with the other person on this one but if someone comes to a date with a shiner or swollen face I can kind of understand not wanting to stick around. Especially if they have never met before. She probably figured OP was a hothead or something and had been in a fight. Just to give a little perspective. She obviously should have asked but still I can understand someone not wanting to stick around in that situation.

jazzy_123 20

that seems a bit shallow though... I understand there are some women like that but personally I probably would have stuck around long enough to ask what happened. I'm sure a lot of women would. Plus if OP's friend set it up, I'm sure he gave her good input on OP like a good wingman should.