Today, I was coming home from a much-needed vacation. The time I spent on the plane consisted of kids screaming and throwing tantrums. One of them managed to give me a black eye with a shoe. Their mom pretended to be asleep so I'd have to deal with her kids for her. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I've been on vacation with my friend and his family for a week. Apparently, his idea of a vacation includes constant screaming arguments with his wife, while their kids sob in the living room. I tried to take the kids out once and got a lecture on boundaries, which started another huge fight. FML
Today, there was a 4 year-old boy behind me on my flight. When I looked at him, he screamed playfully and hid. I decided to play tiger with him. While I was grinning like a tiger and trying to scratch him, he smashed a water bottle across my face. I now have a black eye. FML
Today, I was having trouble sleeping due to jet lag. I was finally sleepy and looking forward to a decent night of rest when my 4 year-old woke up and refused to stay in his room or try to rest. The next two hours involved him shouting at me, kicking me, and crying because he wanted Daddy, who is on a business trip. FML
Today, on my family vacation, I tried to put my foot down and declare that my daughter would absolutely not be babysitting anyone's kids. Everyone got mad and made us go home. FML
Today, all I wanted was to take my two kids and their two favourite cousins to the beach on their last day of vacation together. My mother-in-law went into full beast mode, shouting about how I'm always roaming around and being irresponsible. The kids never meet and are from different cities. FML
Today, after reading a sign at the airport, my 6-year-old son thought it would be funny to yell, "Daddy's got a bomb!" Airport security then tackled me to the ground. Oh, and I missed my flight and my mother's birthday. FML
Today, I was on a three hour flight to Los Angeles for a corporate meeting. The woman next to me instantly fell asleep and snored louder than a freight train, while the kid behind me made a hobby of thashing my seat from behind. When I peered over and asked him to stop, he spat in my face. FML
Today, after spending over $1000 on plane tickets, I'm visiting my family for the first time in five years. Two hours after I arrived, everyone is screaming at each other and taking their rage out on me. They still ask why I never visit. FML
Today, I had a seizure while at the airport, ready to go on vacation with my family. We ended up missing our flight. My mom spent most of the ride home making cracks about how I'm always ruining things with my "dramatics". Sorry that I have epilepsy, mom. FML
Today, I boarded a plane. A woman decided that she didn't like where she'd put her carry on luggage and pulled it out from over my head. The heavy luggage then fell right onto my face, the wheel smacking me in the mouth and busting my lip open. She just laughed and waltzed away without a word. FML
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Top comments
SHAMUS_the_WITTY 18
You should have shoved the shoe into the kid's ass. It's what Jesus would have done.
plum_lovin 28
I probably would have used her kids shoe and hit her with it to wake her up (even if she was really "asleep" or not. Deal with your own damn kids lady!!
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Comments (73)
sarah2144 14
What a good parent.
SHAMUS_the_WITTY 18
You should have shoved the shoe into the kid's ass. It's what Jesus would have done.
wjh100 13
the title the witty doesn't fit so well when you use the same refrence 2 fmls in a row :p js
Wizardo 34
By the power of the Lord! Take this boot up thy ass and be healed! Take it I say demon!
anythingmustbe 18
Could someone please tell me where this is from?
ScenicSubterfuge 39
Wwjd?
CougeeSwagg 19
no, Jesus would have lit him on fire and sent him to Hell.
OBTrice 15
No this is where you turn around and in a deadpan tone say "Santa isn't real" Then the mom has to deal with them
SillyGirl4602 23
I don't understand why parents just ignore their kid's behavior instead of teaching them how to behave in public.
thejimler 9
Because those parents are idiots who think that they aren't accountable for their children's actions, people need to confront these inconsiderate pricks and give them an ultimatum; either punish their child appropriately for their misdeeds, or depending on your level of self-control and the severity of the situation, press charges for damages and assault, or give them the ass-whooping their kid deserves.
plum_lovin 28
I probably would have used her kids shoe and hit her with it to wake her up (even if she was really "asleep" or not. Deal with your own damn kids lady!!
stevothedevo 25
That's what children of satan do.
Mr_Satan 11
Naw, they generally pass the time with fire...
lenamartinovic 13
Couldn't you have asked to be moved? I'm sorry OP. );
Jjaro 7
Agreed! Why was this voted down? And I feel for you OP.
iluvevil01 11
I would've woken her up if she was actually asleep and made her get a hold of her kids. Jesus, is it really that hard to keep your kids in line these days?
MsMourningStar 22
It is when no one disciplines their children anymore.
kenoswild 14
I hope there was a priest on board that was able to exorcise the demons out of the children.
oj101 33
Complain to the stewardess, and demand an upgrade.
mr_sarcastic416 29
they're called "flight attendant's" now
Mr_Satan 11
yea, because the two are soooooooo different.....
adam3650 12
I don't think it would be fair to start making demands of the steward/sterwardess. I'm sure they're just as annoyed at having to deal with other people's unruly kids as OP is.
DDCA 24
Federal Regulations require you to comply with employees on board airplanes. Unruly children are not only a nuisance but a potential hazard. Planes are not playgrounds. That's all you have to say to a flight attendant. They can wake the woman up to deal with her children. People are so afraid to stand up to bad parents these days. It's kind of sad.
EVnIAS 13
why not wake her up I would have done that the very second the kids got out of control. if she didn't wake up I would shake her no way she wouldn't say something after that. unless she is dead but that's a whole different thing
NoDontKillMe 19
Yes because a woman would definitely be dead on an airplane full of screaming kids and no one will know.
lmasters35 5
52 - with the way bratty kids misbehave and their parents ******* ignore them these days, this wouldn't surprise me at all. Dead people are quiet, who's gonna notice them with all the demonspawn running around screaming the plane to pieces?