Today, I was coming home from a much-needed vacation. The time I spent on the plane consisted of kids screaming and throwing tantrums. One of them managed to give me a black eye with a shoe. Their mom pretended to be asleep so I'd have to deal with her kids for her. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I've been on vacation with my friend and his family for a week. Apparently, his idea of a vacation includes constant screaming arguments with his wife, while their kids sob in the living room. I tried to take the kids out once and got a lecture on boundaries, which started another huge fight. FML
Today, there was a 4 year-old boy behind me on my flight. When I looked at him, he screamed playfully and hid. I decided to play tiger with him. While I was grinning like a tiger and trying to scratch him, he smashed a water bottle across my face. I now have a black eye. FML
Today, I was having trouble sleeping due to jet lag. I was finally sleepy and looking forward to a decent night of rest when my 4 year-old woke up and refused to stay in his room or try to rest. The next two hours involved him shouting at me, kicking me, and crying because he wanted Daddy, who is on a business trip. FML
Today, on my family vacation, I tried to put my foot down and declare that my daughter would absolutely not be babysitting anyone's kids. Everyone got mad and made us go home. FML
Today, all I wanted was to take my two kids and their two favourite cousins to the beach on their last day of vacation together. My mother-in-law went into full beast mode, shouting about how I'm always roaming around and being irresponsible. The kids never meet and are from different cities. FML
Today, after reading a sign at the airport, my 6-year-old son thought it would be funny to yell, "Daddy's got a bomb!" Airport security then tackled me to the ground. Oh, and I missed my flight and my mother's birthday. FML
Today, I was on a three hour flight to Los Angeles for a corporate meeting. The woman next to me instantly fell asleep and snored louder than a freight train, while the kid behind me made a hobby of thashing my seat from behind. When I peered over and asked him to stop, he spat in my face. FML
Today, after spending over $1000 on plane tickets, I'm visiting my family for the first time in five years. Two hours after I arrived, everyone is screaming at each other and taking their rage out on me. They still ask why I never visit. FML
Today, I had a seizure while at the airport, ready to go on vacation with my family. We ended up missing our flight. My mom spent most of the ride home making cracks about how I'm always ruining things with my "dramatics". Sorry that I have epilepsy, mom. FML
Today, I boarded a plane. A woman decided that she didn't like where she'd put her carry on luggage and pulled it out from over my head. The heavy luggage then fell right onto my face, the wheel smacking me in the mouth and busting my lip open. She just laughed and waltzed away without a word. FML
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Top comments
SHAMUS_the_WITTY 18
You should have shoved the shoe into the kid's ass. It's what Jesus would have done.
plum_lovin 28
I probably would have used her kids shoe and hit her with it to wake her up (even if she was really "asleep" or not. Deal with your own damn kids lady!!
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Comments (73)
chubby_choco 17
See, shit like this is why I'll never be able to get on a plane. Because I have no patience with children (or crappy parents), so if this happened, I'd shake her awake and say something to the effect of, "Bitch, I'm not a baby-sitter. If I get a shoe to the face again, I will be even less pleasant to sit with than your little shitstains here."
Anonymous_17221 11
At least the plain did not crash and you did not die.
L0VExoxo 10
You should have woke that bitch up
Wealthyparrot 9
They say an eye for an eye leaves everyone blind... But if she's not watching her kids, why does she need eyes anyway?
red61977 9
Well if you are left to deal with them, then you start yelling like a still sergeant. If they get out of line, smack them. If the mom bitches, smack her.
cheepcheep23 8
Sounds like my mom...
Rababco 29
What is it with misbehaving kids on airplanes, it seem to be quite common? Kids seem to misbehave more often on airplanes then other places. No one ever thinks that maybe kids just don't like airplanes. I'm beginning to think that people shouldn't travel on airplanes with young children. I think part of the problem is that they're bored and are expected to sit still for x number of hours. It doesn't help that the parent(s) (like in this situation) often completely ignore their children when on the plane rather than interact and pay attention to them. Their kids could be in pain, terrified, sick or even dying and they wouldn't have a clue. Although I can't accurately judge from just this scene, the mom's passive behavior and the fact that she's completely ignoring them, makes me think she might be emotionally neglectful. They might act out just to get a reaction because negative attention is better than no attention.
Jenniesaurus 14
One of the reasons I hate flying... And kids. The mother sounds like the 50% of people that shouldn't have had kids in the first place. FYL OP. Hope your ears didn't sustain too much damage :(
DEATHLORD_fml 16
An eye for an eye.
fantasyworld 39
I would have thrown a shoe at her.