Today, I was coming home from a much-needed vacation. The time I spent on the plane consisted of kids screaming and throwing tantrums. One of them managed to give me a black eye with a shoe. Their mom pretended to be asleep so I'd have to deal with her kids for her. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I've been on vacation with my friend and his family for a week. Apparently, his idea of a vacation includes constant screaming arguments with his wife, while their kids sob in the living room. I tried to take the kids out once and got a lecture on boundaries, which started another huge fight. FML
Today, there was a 4 year-old boy behind me on my flight. When I looked at him, he screamed playfully and hid. I decided to play tiger with him. While I was grinning like a tiger and trying to scratch him, he smashed a water bottle across my face. I now have a black eye. FML
Today, I was having trouble sleeping due to jet lag. I was finally sleepy and looking forward to a decent night of rest when my 4 year-old woke up and refused to stay in his room or try to rest. The next two hours involved him shouting at me, kicking me, and crying because he wanted Daddy, who is on a business trip. FML
Today, on my family vacation, I tried to put my foot down and declare that my daughter would absolutely not be babysitting anyone's kids. Everyone got mad and made us go home. FML
Today, all I wanted was to take my two kids and their two favourite cousins to the beach on their last day of vacation together. My mother-in-law went into full beast mode, shouting about how I'm always roaming around and being irresponsible. The kids never meet and are from different cities. FML
Today, after reading a sign at the airport, my 6-year-old son thought it would be funny to yell, "Daddy's got a bomb!" Airport security then tackled me to the ground. Oh, and I missed my flight and my mother's birthday. FML
Today, I was on a three hour flight to Los Angeles for a corporate meeting. The woman next to me instantly fell asleep and snored louder than a freight train, while the kid behind me made a hobby of thashing my seat from behind. When I peered over and asked him to stop, he spat in my face. FML
Today, after spending over $1000 on plane tickets, I'm visiting my family for the first time in five years. Two hours after I arrived, everyone is screaming at each other and taking their rage out on me. They still ask why I never visit. FML
Today, I had a seizure while at the airport, ready to go on vacation with my family. We ended up missing our flight. My mom spent most of the ride home making cracks about how I'm always ruining things with my "dramatics". Sorry that I have epilepsy, mom. FML
Today, I boarded a plane. A woman decided that she didn't like where she'd put her carry on luggage and pulled it out from over my head. The heavy luggage then fell right onto my face, the wheel smacking me in the mouth and busting my lip open. She just laughed and waltzed away without a word. FML
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Top comments
SHAMUS_the_WITTY 18
You should have shoved the shoe into the kid's ass. It's what Jesus would have done.
plum_lovin 28
I probably would have used her kids shoe and hit her with it to wake her up (even if she was really "asleep" or not. Deal with your own damn kids lady!!
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Comments (73)
Jharrist89 12
That's when you get the flight attendant. Afterwards you should complain to the airline company and get a possible upgrade for your next flight!
annihil8or 15
Did you mean to say 'flight' or 'fight'?
\ 28
The parental-eligibility test is still on the table! Anyone...?
anythingmustbe 18
Better than snakes atleast...
iluvpeanutbutter 22
I'd take the snakes any day. At least snakes are quiet, and tend to stay pretty still. Ideally, you could feed the unruly children to the snake.
mangoboy1 19
Should've told them Santa, the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy aren't real. And then slapped them.
limitedition 25
That's so evil... And we'll deserved in this case. Bet mama would have woken up right away!
NoDontKillMe 19
^^ *well
CrissyyyS2 22
Everyone is saying "wake her up" but she is. Bitch is just pretending to be asleep. I would of said, "Bitch, I know you're not asleep. If you don't stop your kids... I will and it won't be in a pleasant way".
ilyscott 4
I would of thrown the kids shoe at her and said it was one of her feral kids. Just to get her off her ass.
KLeePrice 11
would *have
321igotu 0
Ffs throw the shoe right in her face and present to sleep
TiffGreen 11
Do people ever take care of their kids now-a-days? Man that is so annoying!
mr_sarcastic416 29
with another passenger in the mile high club
eash 10
Bloody tell her her kids are not your problem