Health: Today, I had a seizure while at the airport, ready to go on vacation... - FML

Nearly

01/10/2021 22:55

Today, I just had the best sex in all my life. After that, my ex-girlfriend dumped me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38

You deserved it 3

28/09/2021 01:05

Today, I found out my dog of 11 years has very severe cancer. Her spleen, which has swollen to the size of a football, had a small rupture a day ago and would fatally within a week, we'll be putting her down tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 99

You deserved it 6

Spicy

Spicy

Weird flex, but OK

By Anonymous - 17/10/2021 08:01

Spicy

Today, I’m aware that comparing yourself too much to other people can make you unhappy. I now learned that the same goes for comparing yourself to objects. For example, between myself and the shared toilet in my student house, guess who has the most pubic hair? FML

I agree, your life sucks 509

You deserved it 138

Nice try, though

By Anonymous - 16/10/2021 20:00

Spicy

Today, I bought a $100 Victoria's Secret gift card for an ex who I still have a thing for, only to find out she started dating someone else a week ago. I just realized I bought lingerie for her to wear for someone else. FML

I agree, your life sucks 213

You deserved it 1 752

08/08/2014 23:25

Today, I had a seizure while at the airport, ready to go on vacation with my family. We ended up missing our flight. My mom spent most of the ride home making cracks about how I'm always ruining things with my "dramatics". Sorry that I have epilepsy, mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 662

You deserved it 3 536

Commando

Coherence dude, do you have it?

Silver linings

21/04/2018 05:00

Spicy

Today, my husband got jealous of my new vibrator. I got the vibrator to "spice things up" between us, because he hasn't touched me in months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 615

You deserved it 528

Spooky season

By soccerbuddyz - This fml is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff

Today, I got a complaint from my neighbor about a little girl staring at her through my guest bedroom window for the past month. I live alone. Now I'm scared to live in my own house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 541

You deserved it 3 763

16/07/2012 18:25

Today, I woke up with a pimple on my eyelid. Not only is it impossible to cover up with makeup, I can't pop it either. Now I'll be spending the rest of the day trying not to blink. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 616

You deserved it 2 694

28/02/2011 05:43

Today, my shoulder was pulled out of its socket when I was helping a customer load a desk into his vehicle and he decided to answer his cell phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 713

You deserved it 2 499

Meow meow

By failed_catgirl - 19/10/2010 23:24

Spicy

Today, for my boyfriend's 19th birthday, I decided to dress up as a sexy cat girl for him, complete with ears, tail, matching sexy underwear, collar and leash. He wouldn't stop laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 391

You deserved it 38 770

Great prank ideas #47

By Anonymous - 02/09/2021 23:01

Today, I went to a baseball game with my wife. During intermission, the kiss cam chose my wife and me. So, what do you expect, I kissed her, but she decided to slap me and pretend she didn't know me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 975

You deserved it 139

"Found", eh?

By Panda_bruh96 - 13/08/2021 19:01

Spicy

Today, I found a bunch of half-naked girls saved in my boyfriend's phone, and only a handful of the pics were of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 797

You deserved it 178

Driven

By Anonymous - 04/09/2019 16:03

Today, I drove 3 hours to get to a class, just to have the professor leave a note on the classroom door saying that she wasn't coming. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 560

You deserved it 103

22/04/2017 18:00

Today, I can now identify which of my four roommates is using the washroom, based on their grunts. I just love having a bedroom beside the bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 013

You deserved it 281

15/10/2012 13:10

Today, it's my birthday. I spent $100 on myself, using it to set up an account so that my son can call me from jail. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 386

You deserved it 4 113

Hello little guy

By Anonymous - 14/05/2021 00:00

Today, I put my house shoes on without socks, but felt a rock in them. I shook it free and out dropped a half-crushed roach. FML

I agree, your life sucks 878

You deserved it 85

14/04/2016 23:24

Today, I was hauling cow shit. I had a car following me very closely, so I turned on the spreader to get them to back off. It was a cop. I got pulled over in a tractor for spraying cow shit on a cop car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 933

You deserved it 25 318

31/01/2010 14:46

Today, I was standing in a queue when an old lady turned, looked straight at me, and asked me to hold her bag. Confused, I took a hold of it. She started screaming for help claiming I was stealing her shopping. Turns out, she was talking to her husband behind me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 850

You deserved it 3 429

02/07/2011 04:46

Today, I found a very large pumpkin super-glued to my car. It will not come off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 784

You deserved it 3 565

07/07/2016 22:34

Today, my future husband presented me with an engagement ring he had had engraved with the pet name he calls his cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 354

You deserved it 1 056

17/08/2019 04:00

Today, I found out the room I've been sleeping in has black fungus growing on the wall behind the bed. So, that's why I cough until it feels like my lungs are coming out in the morning. Mystery solved. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 765

You deserved it 140

18/02/2011 07:55

Today, I brought home a ukulele I had just bought. Excited, I showed my dad. He then looked at me, smirked, and said "Just like everything else you have, it's a bit smaller than normal." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 493

You deserved it 5 543

20/10/2012 13:57

Spicy

Today, after waking up from a drunken night, I realized the burning sensation I had from the lube during sex was because I used hand sanitizer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 197

You deserved it 39 600

22/04/2009 13:20

Today, I was running the 100m sprint in a track meet. Me and another girl were tied for dead last. When we finished, she complained, "It's so embarrassing how slow I am today. I have shin splints. What happened to you?" I was actually running my hardest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 396

You deserved it 7 561

12/07/2018 19:00

Today, my work is doing a legal investigation about whether they can avoid paying me maternity benefit. According to my sleazy boss, "You notified us too late." FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 897

You deserved it 270

Stranger danger

By soul0eater - 12/03/2011 07:18

Today, I was at the mall and I saw a kid crying. I asked her "What's wrong sweetie, are you lost?" She ran away screaming "Help me!" I ended up having to explain to a dumb mall cop that I'm not a perv. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 315

You deserved it 3 856

Lonely

By Anonymous - 07/11/2009 00:29

Today, I'm a 19 year-old college student in NYC, it's Friday night and I'm sitting alone on my bed in my dorm room, talking to my mother on Facebook. Then she stopped responding. Turns out even my mother has better things to do on Friday night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 087

You deserved it 6 488

20/06/2009 06:01

Today, I bought a new mailbox to replace the old one that was stolen. Two hours after I put the new mailbox up, the old one was back and the new one was missing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 602

You deserved it 3 706

17/04/2014 23:24

Today, after ten years, our sewing machine broke. My mom tried to return it back to the store she bought it from. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 680

You deserved it 4 117

06/08/2019 18:00

Today, I came home from work and turned on the computer. I logged onto Facebook and saw I had a bunch of notifications. Turns out, everyone on Facebook knew I was single before I did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 914

You deserved it 105

13/05/2019 22:00

Today, I drove my truck into the garage for a couple of minor repairs. It was returned on a flatbed with a blown engine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 755

You deserved it 94

Heated gaming moment

By Anonymous - 15/02/2017 22:00

Today, I went to my boyfriend's house after working a night shift. The door was locked and, so I wouldn't wake his parents, I called him. Twelve times. Each call went to voicemail and I was left standing outside in the freezing rain until he finally let me in. What was he doing? Playing video games. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 813

You deserved it 1 181

25/02/2013 08:39

Today, I'm so poor that I've been scrounging around my house all day trying to find quarters and dimes so that I can buy myself a cup of coffee tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 514

You deserved it 6 778

18/03/2013 22:34

Spicy

Today, it was my first time with my boyfriend, at his house, in his Dora the Explorer sheets. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 517

You deserved it 9 104

03/12/2013 17:54

Today, I lost my phone. I called the number from my friend's phone, hoping I could find it. A guy answered, laughed "Thanks for the phone!" and hung up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 132

You deserved it 4 130

28/06/2009 18:25

Today, I woke up late. My grandparents had slept over the night before but they usually left early. I heard someone in the kitchen and thinking it was my brother, I said "Thank god, the geriatric crew is FINALLY gone." My grandma responds, "No we're not." FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 460

You deserved it 73 909

Good question

By Juliett - 29/08/2019 19:00

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend gave me an amazing orgasm after a long dry spell. I moaned his name as I climaxed, and he replied, "What?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 717

You deserved it 271

16/04/2009 06:47

Today, I was horsing around after my big test. Someone punched me softly on my back. Figuring it was my friend, I turned around and did a roundhouse kick. It was my girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 769

You deserved it 81 273

Smooth sailing

By Anonymous - 24/10/2020 21:02

Today, I found out the man I've been wanting to marry for a year and a half wants us to take a break. FML

I agree, your life sucks 996

You deserved it 109

23/10/2012 16:01

Today, after years of being terrified of those biscuit cans that pop when you unwrap them, I finally decided I'd open one myself. I'm sitting in the hospital with a sliced hand from the lid and can feel therapy in my future. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 704

You deserved it 4 418

21/09/2013 20:56

Today, I told my mom that I want to try out for a singing competition on TV, so I might be able to kick off my musical career. She convinced me to sing a song for her, so I did. Mid-way through, she lost it, burst into laughter, and told me to stay in school. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 841

You deserved it 12 147

06/07/2009 10:51

Today, I gave the option to my boyfriend of 5 years to either quit World of Warcraft of lose me. He said WOW makes him happier. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 266

You deserved it 33 779

16/01/2010 21:36

Today, I found my beloved hamster, Toofie. Toofie escaped from his cage. 4 years ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 918

You deserved it 4 960

22/09/2013 05:45

Today, I hit a new low in my financial troubles when I left my work to retrieve twenty-five cents after seeing someone drop it across the street. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 097

You deserved it 4 487

18/05/2014 14:14

Today, I was chewed out by a lady who claimed the laptop she bought wouldn't turn on, and that she wanted a refund. She yelled and shoved the laptop at me, not even listening when I told her I didn't even work at that store. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 893

You deserved it 4 245

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Top comments

markcallanan_ 20

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Saturday 9 August 2014 10:35

Your moms a bit of a b*tch

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Saturday 9 August 2014 10:35

She sounds like a total bitch, sorry you have to put up with someone blaming you for something you have no control over. Hopefully you can schedule a new vacation soon!

Comments

markcallanan_ 20

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Saturday 9 August 2014 10:35

Your moms a bit of a b*tch

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Saturday 9 August 2014 18:29

I don't even have to repeat what you already said. Totally agree

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Saturday 9 August 2014 18:59

Scratch that, her mom is a total bitch

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Saturday 9 August 2014 21:33

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.. Show it anyway

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Sunday 10 August 2014 5:16

So it's her fault simply because she has Epilepsy? That hardly seems fair Smh

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Monday 11 August 2014 3:06

No one can help epilepsy you're born with it like blond hair or brown eyes

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Saturday 9 August 2014 10:35

She sounds like a total bitch, sorry you have to put up with someone blaming you for something you have no control over. Hopefully you can schedule a new vacation soon!

Arwen_Evenstar 37

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Saturday 9 August 2014 10:43

Sadly, not all parents are pleasant. I expected this to end that they left without her though.

A07 48

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Saturday 9 August 2014 10:36

Aren't the airline people supposed to cooperate in situations like these?

OysterPearls 33

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Saturday 9 August 2014 10:45

I could be wrong, but I doubt that they would hold up an entire airplane for someone who had a seizure, if that's what you mean. My friend had one and was hospitalized for two days, and there's really no way of knowing how long it'll take for someone to recover after.

A07 48

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Saturday 9 August 2014 12:45

I meant can't they shift you to a different flight or something?

Mystery_Unsolved 16

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Saturday 9 August 2014 17:45

Why couldn't they just rebook thee flights?

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Sunday 3 July 2016 0:31

because money

bluestrawberry17 17

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Saturday 9 August 2014 10:36

wtf what a bitch sorry op

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Saturday 9 August 2014 10:41

I understand that it could be frustrating dealing with epilepsy but that's just plain mean.

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Saturday 9 August 2014 12:39

It might be frustrating but it can't be helped. And I'm sure it's hardest on OP.

ExastirisDragon 22

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Saturday 9 August 2014 22:40

Especially the fact that OP's mom is a bitch and obviously is a dipshit at that.

johbstonjacob 8

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Saturday 9 August 2014 10:43

Sorry OP, nothing you could do about it!

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Saturday 9 August 2014 10:43

Couldn't you have caught another plane considering the circumstances? Or were you not physically ready to go on a flight at the time because of your condition?

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Saturday 9 August 2014 10:57

I'm epileptic. That shit sucks I'm sorry. I know how embarrassing it can be to have seizures in public.

Emi1y 21

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Saturday 9 August 2014 10:59

Aw sorry, OP. It's not your fault your fault that you missed your flight and your mom should totally lay off y'all can always take a vacation later on.

Soundslikeothers 15

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Saturday 9 August 2014 11:07

Don't sweat it OP just shake it off.

Soundslikeothers 15

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Saturday 9 August 2014 18:37

I have had epilepsy since I was two I thought it was funny

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Saturday 9 August 2014 23:25

I have epilepsy as well and I found it to be funny.