The proof is in the pudding

By Anonymous - 16/10/2021 00:00 - Estonia

Today, I unintentionally came out as bi to my boss. He said he's fine with it and doesn't care either way, only that there is too much "gay propaganda" in the world and it shouldn't be shown and talked about so much. He also doesn't understand why I was reluctant to talk about my sexuality before. FML
I agree, your life sucks 787
You deserved it 391

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Top comments

It’s crazy how Plop is the only one who realized how easy it is to talk about your “sexuality” without talking about fucking. It can be ridiculously hard at work, because you either have to be evasive or literally lying all the time. It’s shitty, annoying, and exhausting. - Coworker: “Hey! Have a good weekend? What’d you do?” - OP: “Oh...just went on a little road trip.” *Actually they went on a trip with their partner to celebrate their anniversary.* - Coworker: “Nice! Anywhere fun?” - OP: “Umm...just to some hot springs.” *They actually got a beautiful room at a known romantic couple’s resort with hot springs.* - Coworker: “Oh nice! My husband and I have been wanting to do that for awhile! You go with anyone special, or just with friends?” - OP: “Ummm...you know, just a few friends.” *They were already feeling uncomfortable and now probably feel like an asshole for lying.* Notice how in the example above, the coworker casually mentioned her husband, and that’s fine. People at work make small talk. It’s perfectly acceptable to talk about your spouse, kids, in-laws, whatever. Even at a surface level, people talk about their personal lives a LOT. Innocuous shit like “Sorry I’m a little behind today - husband broke his foot and we were up all night at the hospital.” It’s just life, and it’s normal. The second someone mentions their same-sex partner, it’s a thing. It’s “coming out” or it’s “putting it in people’s faces” or whatever. Conversely, if you’re quiet, or evasive, or short when asked for stupid little innocuous details about your personal life, you may be considered “unfriendly” or “rude” or “not a good fit.” In this case, OP (assuming female) probably had a boyfriend before, maybe mentioned him, broke up, and is now dating or in a relationship with a woman. All it takes to “come out” now is slipping up and saying “she” in a conversation about literally anything. When people come out, they’re not like “Man I loved bouncing on that dick last night while eating some bomb ass pussy! Wait what? Oopsies I accidentally came out as bi! Teehee!” OP is not looking for attention. OP did not want to come out. Some people are totally ok with just talking about their same-sex partner just like others are perfectly fine mentioning their heterosexual relationships. For her own personal reasons, OP did not want to do that. But it happened, and it’s awkward for her. OP’s boss honestly is probably the one who was being inappropriate - “So what happened with that boyfriend of yours?” or any variation of subtle or direct questions that unintentionally pushed her to reveal her sexuality. And she finally does - by accident - and he starts bitching about “gay propaganda.” Who’s the asshole here? It’s every single one of you who are so blind to your own privilege, so demanding on other people to “keep their sexuality to themselves,” and blaming OP for just trying to live her life and work and now having to deal with a homophobic boss. Try to start looking past your own noses and put yourselves in other people’s shoes for once. OP, sorry this happened to you, and good luck with your boss and your job moving forward. It may be good to even start looking for something else. You may be pleasantly surprised to find something much better!

Talking to your boss about your sexuality? Are you crazy? Is work that slow and you've already exhausted the topics of politics and religion?

Comments

Talking to your boss about your sexuality? Are you crazy? Is work that slow and you've already exhausted the topics of politics and religion?

Key question: what is it that makes you reluctant to discuss it to begin with. Follow up: are you sure you're as 'reluctant' as you say you are? Was it truly 'unintentional' thus making it an accident? I'm questioning your 'reluctance'. I could be wrong but it sounds like you wanna discuss it to seek acceptance but got disappointed when your boss said he doesn't give a shit. 🤷🏻‍♂️

You shouldn't be talking about your sexuality at work regardless of what it is. Sex is not an appropriate workplace topic.

Then we shouldn’t know when our coworkers are straight either.

You guys do realize that "discussing his sexuality" probably only amounted to him saying something like "I had a date with a great guy last weekend". He doesn't need to go all like "Yeah, I love d*cks and p*ssies equally". OP does say that he unintentionally let it slip, so it's likely he accidentally mentioned that the partner/date/random squeeze he was referring to is a guy.

It’s crazy how Plop is the only one who realized how easy it is to talk about your “sexuality” without talking about fucking. It can be ridiculously hard at work, because you either have to be evasive or literally lying all the time. It’s shitty, annoying, and exhausting. - Coworker: “Hey! Have a good weekend? What’d you do?” - OP: “Oh...just went on a little road trip.” *Actually they went on a trip with their partner to celebrate their anniversary.* - Coworker: “Nice! Anywhere fun?” - OP: “Umm...just to some hot springs.” *They actually got a beautiful room at a known romantic couple’s resort with hot springs.* - Coworker: “Oh nice! My husband and I have been wanting to do that for awhile! You go with anyone special, or just with friends?” - OP: “Ummm...you know, just a few friends.” *They were already feeling uncomfortable and now probably feel like an asshole for lying.* Notice how in the example above, the coworker casually mentioned her husband, and that’s fine. People at work make small talk. It’s perfectly acceptable to talk about your spouse, kids, in-laws, whatever. Even at a surface level, people talk about their personal lives a LOT. Innocuous shit like “Sorry I’m a little behind today - husband broke his foot and we were up all night at the hospital.” It’s just life, and it’s normal. The second someone mentions their same-sex partner, it’s a thing. It’s “coming out” or it’s “putting it in people’s faces” or whatever. Conversely, if you’re quiet, or evasive, or short when asked for stupid little innocuous details about your personal life, you may be considered “unfriendly” or “rude” or “not a good fit.” In this case, OP (assuming female) probably had a boyfriend before, maybe mentioned him, broke up, and is now dating or in a relationship with a woman. All it takes to “come out” now is slipping up and saying “she” in a conversation about literally anything. When people come out, they’re not like “Man I loved bouncing on that dick last night while eating some bomb ass pussy! Wait what? Oopsies I accidentally came out as bi! Teehee!” OP is not looking for attention. OP did not want to come out. Some people are totally ok with just talking about their same-sex partner just like others are perfectly fine mentioning their heterosexual relationships. For her own personal reasons, OP did not want to do that. But it happened, and it’s awkward for her. OP’s boss honestly is probably the one who was being inappropriate - “So what happened with that boyfriend of yours?” or any variation of subtle or direct questions that unintentionally pushed her to reveal her sexuality. And she finally does - by accident - and he starts bitching about “gay propaganda.” Who’s the asshole here? It’s every single one of you who are so blind to your own privilege, so demanding on other people to “keep their sexuality to themselves,” and blaming OP for just trying to live her life and work and now having to deal with a homophobic boss. Try to start looking past your own noses and put yourselves in other people’s shoes for once. OP, sorry this happened to you, and good luck with your boss and your job moving forward. It may be good to even start looking for something else. You may be pleasantly surprised to find something much better!

you just made a bunch of stuff up to make a point, you don't really know if any of it apply here. most people don't care about other people's personal lives. lgb had their movement in the 60-80's, they have the same rights as everyone can even be married in churches, i don't get the fuss, just seems like a asshole boss who made her uncomfortable. a lot of bosses does that.

Why does your boss need to know this? Unless your a prostitute, your sexuality doesn't matter in a job (or shouldnt). Sounds like you just wanted attention.

but gay propaganda is a real thing I believe at least. to me its all the annoying shit with people putting rainbows everywhere and the trans flag and stuff. No I don't have a problem with lgbtq people but I don't want people shoving that shit down my throat making me feel like I have to acknowledge and praise them, like its good to have pride and stuff and the pride festival is cool but some people(or in my experience more often than not) make their whole lives about being gay. I'm not saying you're like this i don't know how you are if you're reserved about it then I doubt this pertains to you but I think your boss was just saying about those kinds of people that do do that stuff.

TL;DR of my earlier long-ass comment. It’s easy to come out by accident. You’re not sitting there talking about fucking or your sex life. Straight coworkers say shit like “I went to a craft fair with my wife this weekend. How’d you enjoy the great weather?” People’s sexuality comes up casually ALL THE TIME and it’s normal because everyone assumes everyone else is straight. If I took my same-sex partner out somewhere nice for their birthday, I would have to lie or be evasive. “Oh...just hung out with friends” or whatever. It’s draining and sucks feeling like you’re lying or stretching the truth all. The. Time. And it automatically alienates you a bit from some of the “water cooler” talk that allows coworkers to bond and get close and make being together 8+ hours a day, day in and day out, more tolerable and even pleasant. You automatically can’t tell fun personal stories about the ski trip you went on with YOUR husband after a guy talks about going on one with his wife. TL;DR - Coming out isn’t just “I sucked a dick then ate some pussy last night.” It can be as simple as talking about your weekend like straight people do. GLBT people don’t want to shove it in your face. They just want to have normal conversations like everyone else 🙄🙄 And the stress of hiding it because people can (a) not be accepting, or (possibly worse) (b) fetishize it, just really sucks. Sorry, OP, hope things are ok with your dick boss. So sorry that happened to you. Maybe look for another job, or make the best of your current work environment while you can - keep a positive attitude and don’t let it bring you down! 😄❤️❤️❤️ PS. Fuck this is still long. I’m sorry I can’t talk short 😅😅