Work: Today, I got fired from my recently acquired job at a doctor's...

By Anonymous - 20/09/2010 14:33 - United States

Today, I got fired from my recently acquired job at a doctor's office because I don't "agree with family values". The way I'm disrespecting their "family values"? I'm gay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 248

You deserved it 22 463

Work

Leave us alone

Dementia or hate? You decide

Judge and jury

By ImScrewed - 02/08/2011 17:47 - United States

Today, my boss sat me down to discuss the sounds my co-workers have heard coming from my cubicle. Apparently my music sounds like the background tracks from shitty soft-core porn movies. I'm getting a three day suspension while they go through all my files. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 164

You deserved it 5 248

By Anyom - 27/07/2016 00:46 - United States - Detroit

Today, my friend got her first car. I bought mine 3 weeks ago and haven't started making payments. She came straight from the dealer ship to pick me up. She backed in to my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 573

You deserved it 946

You wanker!

By Anonymous - 06/10/2019 22:00

Today, my brother arrived at the cabin we’re staying at on a trip. He insisted he got the bed I chose. My father responded, "You wouldn’t want the bed if you knew what he did in it last night." I laughed until I realized there's a mirror where he could've easily seen "what I did last night." FML

I agree, your life sucks 877

You deserved it 1 797

By alone in ND - 25/07/2019 16:00

Today, it's my 25th birthday. I closed at work, not one person wished me happy birthday, no calls or letters from my family. Even my boyfriend of 3 years didn’t remember. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 123

You deserved it 183

By Ad-s - 14/01/2009 05:01 - France

Today, I got together with a small gathering of friends in a bar. I go up to the bar to order something, but with all the music and noise, the barman can't hear what I'm trying to say, so he leans forward, cocking his ear towards me. For some reason, I thought he was being friendly so I kissed him as if we were saying hello to each other. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 409

You deserved it 22 752

Thanks but no thanks.

By Anonymous - 26/08/2017 16:00

Today, as my husband and I were leaving our wedding reception, my mother-in-law hugged me and whispered in my ear, "You're gonna do great tonight!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 391

You deserved it 466

By Anonymous - 07/09/2012 05:08 - Canada - Edmonton

Today, I had to go into the school for the third time this week because my son is claiming he's on bath salts and biting all his classmates. My son is 16. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 658

You deserved it 3 313

Welcome

By Anonymous - 24/12/2020 20:01

Today, I had to clean out my husband's brother's room as he is moving. The room was filled with childish toys, mould and years of dust covered everything. Behind and under every piece of furniture were earwax encrusted cotton swabs, hundreds of them. Oh yeah, he's moving in with us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 993

You deserved it 125

By jessica - 17/02/2009 23:56 - United States

Today, I was working the register at a local grocery store. A kid about 5 years old was having trouble zipping his jacket. I reached out to help him and he started screaming "No bad touch bad touch!" and kicked me in the knee. Everyone looked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 009

You deserved it 9 484

By Anonymous - 19/03/2014 06:25 - United States - Rochester

Today, I was telling my friends about a date I had recently that went badly, because the guy turned out to be a moron. I said the last straw was when I used the word "decipher" and was met with a blank stare. I was then met with more blank stares. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 095

You deserved it 6 894

By Nice - 01/05/2012 13:58 - Canada - Hamilton

Today, I was talking to my co-workers about how I've sadly been an orphan since an early age. One of them exclaimed, "Hey, just like Batman!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 968

You deserved it 5 014

By stalked - 08/01/2014 20:27 - United States - Boca Raton

Today, to avoid a guy who's been creepily following me around school lately, I ducked into the girl's bathroom. After few minutes, he stuck his head in with his eyes closed and asked if I was done yet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 536

You deserved it 4 776

By thenewone - 19/11/2009 20:09 - Brazil

Today, I met my boyfriend's parents. Later on, his mom pulls me aside and tells me to back off, saying he will never marry someone like me and he should be with a nice girl like his ex. They broke up after he found her in his bed with his roomate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 712

You deserved it 2 192

By Naulwenn - 23/06/2016 04:25 - France - Groslay

Today, my divorced parents have started sending each other photos of both of my bedrooms, to, “compare the shambles and see who wins.“ FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 784

You deserved it 2 357

By Anonymous - 20/05/2011 23:30 - United States

Today, I had my new girlfriend over for dinner. Halfway through the meal, my dad started poking her with his fork. When I asked him what the hell he was doing, he barked back, "Just making sure she isn't a blow-up doll!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 434

You deserved it 4 593

Not now, 2020

By Anonymous - 21/09/2020 17:02 - United States

Today, I found out I have endometriosis… Which doesn't mix well with a horny boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 229

You deserved it 98

By emie0209 - 11/04/2009 03:40 - United States

Today, my friend and I were driving to Florida from Michigan. While going through Ohio my car hydroplaned over a puddle on the highway. I ended up hitting the median and my car got wrecked. Not only am I stuck in Ohio with a car that wont work, I got a ticket for $300 for hitting Ohio property. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 379

You deserved it 6 504

By LAXsucks - 20/10/2009 01:10 - United States

Today, I was flying home from LAX when I realized I left my ID back at the hotel. After making phone calls to the hotel and rental car company, I found it and made it back to the airport in time for my flight. After going through security, I realized I left my cell phone on the hotel counter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 926

You deserved it 36 733

By Anonymous - 22/11/2013 21:57 - United States - Stillwater

Today, I was taken to the principal's office and bitched out about the dangerous weapon I brought to school. The "weapon" was a pocket fan. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 820

You deserved it 3 195

By maddie - 06/11/2013 05:06 - United States - Austin

Today, I discovered that the guy I've been seeing is a firm supporter of the Westboro Baptist Church. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 292

You deserved it 7 513

By Anonymous - 16/05/2019 16:02

Today, I got married to the love of my life, with whom I've been with for 5 years. It's also one of the 3 times a year where he's got so drunk that, instead of puking in the bed like last time, he puked all over the side of my car while I was driving us home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 505

You deserved it 331

By BreechInEducation - 27/11/2016 06:55

Today, my boyfriend informed me that he was a breech baby, which according to him meant that he born out of his mum's butthole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 536

You deserved it 918

Buffering

By Anonymous - 23/06/2021 13:59

Today, I was in the car with my boyfriend. After telling him how much I loved him, he asked me to marry him. When I said yes and started crying, he said he wasn't sure if he really wants to get married. FML

I agree, your life sucks 904

You deserved it 70

By I hate nasty people - 05/04/2012 16:18 - United States - South Bend

Today, my new roommate took a shower. This would be a good thing, except for the fact that it's apparently taken her two months just to take this one. I have to live with her for another year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 785

You deserved it 2 154

By UnwantedDaughter - 08/01/2019 20:00

Today, it's my birthday. My father didn't get me a birthday present or do anything for me, and acted as though he only came to visit because it was expected. Yet when it was his birthday a couple months ago, he expected me to take him out and pay for it FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 628

You deserved it 205

By I love my furry babies - 18/05/2019 16:09

Today, I got a hamster against my wife's will. I can't wait until she wakes up and I have to tell her it's loose in the house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 677

You deserved it 2 470

Grossed out

By eww David - 06/07/2021 02:01

Today, my friend is upset with me since I never want to hang out at her house or eat her food. The problem is she has multiple dog beds in her kitchen and a cat litter box under her dining room table. I love her and invite her to hang out other places, but she’s still offended I won’t go to her’s. FML

I agree, your life sucks 846

You deserved it 117

By stepsister - 10/06/2011 05:17 - United States

Today, I met my soon-to-be step mother. My dad was right, we had a lot in common. Including our birth year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 414

You deserved it 4 067

By Anonymous - 03/02/2015 18:23 - United States - Cheyenne

Today, I was making out with a girl I've liked for a long time. At one point she stopped kissing me and said, "You kiss like my brother". I sat there dumbstruck as she went back to kissing me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 202

You deserved it 2 899

By Hm - 08/02/2010 04:03 - United States

Today, I found out the love of my life, my husband, is cheating on me. When I confronted him about it, his response was, "Don't blame me, you're the gullible bitch." FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 418

You deserved it 3 985

Gag reflex

By banananana - 25/09/2019 20:00 - Switzerland

Today, my dentist applied a paste on my teeth to make them more resistant. It tasted so disgustingly like artificial banana that I had to throw up. I'm not allowed to brush my teeth, drink or eat for 4 hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 335

You deserved it 181

By meep - 23/12/2009 16:05 - United States

Today, I found out where my $300 worth of American Eagle and Hollister clothes had disappeared to. My 16 year old sister shredded them with scissors, took pictures of it for her Myspace and said that I deserved it for being a "conformist." All her "internet friends" said it was awesome. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 698

You deserved it 12 307

The smells of summer

By Anonymous - 02/09/2021 08:01

Today, I was sitting in the garden with a book, enjoying the fragrant summer breeze. That fragrance changed somewhat once my kittens discovered that the big mole hill next to me made an excellent toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 625

You deserved it 137

By SG - 24/03/2012 12:14 - United States

Today, I was fooling around with my husband on the bed. I was excited as he lifted my arms up in a seductive way, only to roll deodorant under my armpits. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 385

You deserved it 37 290

By Anon - 09/02/2016 12:39 - United States - Toledo

Today, I got into a car accident. The other driver was going so fast that when we hit, our cars positioned themselves to make it look like it was all my fault. He keeps blaming me for everything and the position of the cars doesn't help. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 626

You deserved it 1 465

By Anonymous - 03/10/2010 05:08 - United States

Today, at work, I was called into the office by my supervisor, on whom I have a massive crush. He called me in to get my password to make some adjustments on my work account and asked me what my password was. I had to hold eye contact with him and tell him my password is his full name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 618

You deserved it 46 080

By MCMB33 - 01/02/2012 00:59 - United States

Today, I caught my pregnant wife smoking. This is after I quit over a month ago to show her my support and be a good influence on our child. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 866

You deserved it 3 066

By sigh - 07/11/2015 05:39 - Australia - Rockdale

Today, my husband is sulking because he "can't" have sex with me. I've tried initiating things multiple times, but he keeps saying no, because I'm pregnant and he says it'd be exactly the same as having sex with his own kid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 685

You deserved it 3 220

By mel - 11/05/2012 21:23 - United Kingdom - Bournemouth

Today, while in the break room at work, I laughed at a co-worker's joke and started choking on my drink. My boss exclaimed in front of everyone, "We need to teach this girl how to swallow!" to everyone's childish amusement. Now they won't stop calling me Spit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 725

You deserved it 3 117

By Matt - 12/08/2011 00:46 - United States

Today, I informed my family of my plans to divorce my wife after catching her cheating on me twice. They bitched me out because I will not be able to survive financially or emotionally without her support. I'm a doctor. She's been unemployed for 2 straight years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 990

You deserved it 2 663

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Top comments

kagera 0

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Monday 20 September 2010 18:58

can we say discrimination lawyer?

GeekboyCol 0

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Monday 20 September 2010 18:59

Unlawful termination lawsuit. Have fun homophobic ex-boss!

FruityLoooons 8

Monday 20 September 2010 18:58

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

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LoganBballin16 0

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Monday 20 September 2010 19:02

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rottentomatoes 7

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Monday 20 September 2010 19:02

racism,,,?

530boy 0

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Monday 20 September 2010 20:20

Your species does not have full rights in this country.

ComMed1 0

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Monday 20 September 2010 18:58

then don't be

Schizomaniac 24

Monday 20 September 2010 18:58

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FFML_314 11

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Monday 20 September 2010 19:00

Eli! I don't like your comment. Even if it was sarcastic. Your sarcasm is not convincing. Also, you will pay for your sins, my child! Muahaha. Be nice! We gay people have values.

suppressed08 2

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Monday 20 September 2010 20:22

Yeah..Gay people have the same interests and values as everyone else (as do bisexuals and transgenders for that matter :)) I dunno why someone being gay worries people so much.