Today, I was at another long swim-meet, when my daughter shaved 15 seconds off her record swim time. When I asked her how she did it, she replied, "Well someone told me to swim as fast as I can." She's just been taking her time all these years. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I got a call from my 8-year-old's 3rd grade teacher. Apparently a question went around class asking, "Why do you think you were put on this Earth?", and my son answered, "My dad says it's because I swam the fastest." FML
Today, I took my 4-year-old daughter to the local pool for swim lessons. As we walked onto the deck she turned to me and said "Mom, that lady has really big boobs!" The whole pool heard, even the man my daughter was referring to. FML
Today, I swam in a race against all of the girls in the midwest in the hardest, longest, most grueling race you can swim. I won. Happy but so tired I could barely move, I looked up to see my time. I had been disqualified. For flinching. Before the race started. FML
Today, I was at a swim meet, swimming as hard as I'd ever swum before. During the last lap I saw no one in the lanes next to me. Thinking I was first, I became extremely excited. When I came to the wall, I realized the reason no one else was around: They already finished the race. I was last. FML
Today, I decided to get back in shape so I went swimming. I only managed 10 lengths and was completely out of breath. I was so embarrassed that when a lifeguard asked me if I was OK, I made up a story about a leg injury as a reason to leave only 15 minutes after I got in. FML
Today, I was running the 100m sprint in a track meet. Me and another girl were tied for dead last. When we finished, she complained, "It's so embarrassing how slow I am today. I have shin splints. What happened to you?" I was actually running my hardest. FML
Today, I took my two-year-old daughter swimming. While sitting in the hot tub, my daughter pointed to the elderly man sitting across from us and mumbled something. I couldn't understand her, so I asked her to repeat it. After two more attempts, she shouted, "MOM! He has big boobs!" FML
Today, my swimming coach made us swim fifty laps non-stop as punishment for his previous class being unable to swim a drill properly. They're 8-11 year olds who are still learning to swim. I feel like my arms and legs are filled with lead. FML
Today, I went swimming. As I was getting out of the very crowded pool a little girl ran up to me pointed and yelled, "Mommy, I want big boobies like that when I grow up." I'm 16. I'm a boy. FML
Today, I told my mom I wanted to try out for the track team. Her exact words were "good luck, fatty". FML
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Top comments
TrueTriage 16
Wait when you compete in sports you need to try??! I've been doing it wrong all these years!
R00ST3R 12
Your daughter is gonna end up being one of those drivers who take their time at a stoplight when it turns green.
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Comments (79)
WishForTheWorld 9
I didn't know that at a swim meet one must swim their fastest?
Radoh 3
I don't understand how this is an FML. Was she doing really poorly before, or are you sure she's just not giving you attitude? 15 seconds off a record even if you aren't trying is still really quite good.
RedPillSucks 33
Is your daughter one of those kids who do the limbo when everyone else is doing the high jump?
Dawnstempest 17
It's good she's so laid back. It's nicer to have a team of those people then the ultra super competitive people.
graceinsheepwear 34
...a losing team...
FlyingPie 17
Unless she does competitive swimming, I'm not sure what the issue is.
Habu987 9
Well, given that she was competing at a swim meet, I would *presume* that she's a competitive swimmer...
FlyingPie 17
The FML doesn't say she was competing.
p36288 17
apparently she said that just for joking
onorexveritas 24
well if she was winning or doing well this long that's not so bad, she's a natural. but if she just flaking then yeah, that sucks
irishgal13 5
wow
ShinyArcanine 16
Your daughter is awesome
andone2222 2
sorry! OP YDI. "at another long swim meet" pssssh ENJOY THE TIME U HAVE WITH YOUR DAUGHTER. PERIOD.
stargirl_95 24
I'm not sure how this FML implied that OP wasn't enjoying the time he has with his daughter.
FaithCulver 9
Being a swimmer, I know that those 16 hour (sometimes 4 days) swim meets are indeed long