Today, I was at another long swim-meet, when my daughter shaved 15 seconds off her record swim time. When I asked her how she did it, she replied, "Well someone told me to swim as fast as I can." She's just been taking her time all these years. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I got a call from my 8-year-old's 3rd grade teacher. Apparently a question went around class asking, "Why do you think you were put on this Earth?", and my son answered, "My dad says it's because I swam the fastest." FML
Today, I took my 4-year-old daughter to the local pool for swim lessons. As we walked onto the deck she turned to me and said "Mom, that lady has really big boobs!" The whole pool heard, even the man my daughter was referring to. FML
Today, I swam in a race against all of the girls in the midwest in the hardest, longest, most grueling race you can swim. I won. Happy but so tired I could barely move, I looked up to see my time. I had been disqualified. For flinching. Before the race started. FML
Today, I was at a swim meet, swimming as hard as I'd ever swum before. During the last lap I saw no one in the lanes next to me. Thinking I was first, I became extremely excited. When I came to the wall, I realized the reason no one else was around: They already finished the race. I was last. FML
Today, I decided to get back in shape so I went swimming. I only managed 10 lengths and was completely out of breath. I was so embarrassed that when a lifeguard asked me if I was OK, I made up a story about a leg injury as a reason to leave only 15 minutes after I got in. FML
Today, I was running the 100m sprint in a track meet. Me and another girl were tied for dead last. When we finished, she complained, "It's so embarrassing how slow I am today. I have shin splints. What happened to you?" I was actually running my hardest. FML
Today, I took my two-year-old daughter swimming. While sitting in the hot tub, my daughter pointed to the elderly man sitting across from us and mumbled something. I couldn't understand her, so I asked her to repeat it. After two more attempts, she shouted, "MOM! He has big boobs!" FML
Today, my swimming coach made us swim fifty laps non-stop as punishment for his previous class being unable to swim a drill properly. They're 8-11 year olds who are still learning to swim. I feel like my arms and legs are filled with lead. FML
Today, I went swimming. As I was getting out of the very crowded pool a little girl ran up to me pointed and yelled, "Mommy, I want big boobies like that when I grow up." I'm 16. I'm a boy. FML
Today, I told my mom I wanted to try out for the track team. Her exact words were "good luck, fatty". FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
TrueTriage 16
Wait when you compete in sports you need to try??! I've been doing it wrong all these years!
R00ST3R 12
Your daughter is gonna end up being one of those drivers who take their time at a stoplight when it turns green.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (79)
perdix 31
After reading an earlier FML, I thought she got a better time because she actually shaved. Leg hair can be a real drag -- both for the boys and hydrodynamically ;)
cottoncandymango 17
We got a Michael Phelps in the making!
kikks_xx 10
what were the mods on when they voted yes on this?
worldclassrager 41
It's not a bad philosophy...it worked right?
ForeverFat 12
How is this an FML?
Xotoolyxo 16
She needs a new coach
olpally 33
Lol. Meh, no biggie. Just keep pushing her to swim faster. You should've done that in the first place though.
Mrs_Captain_Hook 12
Was she winning before? Maybe she is just naturally a extremely fast swimmer
N8George 9
To shave 15s in any race is huge, so obviously it was a long enough distance where pacing might be necessary. It's not that she wasn't trying, she probably just underestimated her endurance this whole time. Maybe it's different with swimming, but as a tracklete I'd think that's common sense.
kaduzy 12
How is this an FYL situation? Your kid can swim! At least you know her death won't be by drowning.