Today, I was at another long swim-meet, when my daughter shaved 15 seconds off her record swim time. When I asked her how she did it, she replied, "Well someone told me to swim as fast as I can." She's just been taking her time all these years. FML
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College Life
Packed lecture halls, a sketchy roommate and frat parties: welcome to college, the real thing.
Today, I got a call from my 8-year-old's 3rd grade teacher. Apparently a question went around class asking, "Why do you think you were put on this Earth?", and my son answered, "My dad says it's because I swam the fastest." FML
Today, I took my 4-year-old daughter to the local pool for swim lessons. As we walked onto the deck she turned to me and said "Mom, that lady has really big boobs!" The whole pool heard, even the man my daughter was referring to. FML
Today, I swam in a race against all of the girls in the midwest in the hardest, longest, most grueling race you can swim. I won. Happy but so tired I could barely move, I looked up to see my time. I had been disqualified. For flinching. Before the race started. FML
Today, I was at a swim meet, swimming as hard as I'd ever swum before. During the last lap I saw no one in the lanes next to me. Thinking I was first, I became extremely excited. When I came to the wall, I realized the reason no one else was around: They already finished the race. I was last. FML
Today, I decided to get back in shape so I went swimming. I only managed 10 lengths and was completely out of breath. I was so embarrassed that when a lifeguard asked me if I was OK, I made up a story about a leg injury as a reason to leave only 15 minutes after I got in. FML
Today, I was running the 100m sprint in a track meet. Me and another girl were tied for dead last. When we finished, she complained, "It's so embarrassing how slow I am today. I have shin splints. What happened to you?" I was actually running my hardest. FML
Today, I took my two-year-old daughter swimming. While sitting in the hot tub, my daughter pointed to the elderly man sitting across from us and mumbled something. I couldn't understand her, so I asked her to repeat it. After two more attempts, she shouted, "MOM! He has big boobs!" FML
Today, my swimming coach made us swim fifty laps non-stop as punishment for his previous class being unable to swim a drill properly. They're 8-11 year olds who are still learning to swim. I feel like my arms and legs are filled with lead. FML
Today, I went swimming. As I was getting out of the very crowded pool a little girl ran up to me pointed and yelled, "Mommy, I want big boobies like that when I grow up." I'm 16. I'm a boy. FML
Today, I told my mom I wanted to try out for the track team. Her exact words were "good luck, fatty". FML
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Top comments
TrueTriage 16
Wait when you compete in sports you need to try??! I've been doing it wrong all these years!
R00ST3R 12
Your daughter is gonna end up being one of those drivers who take their time at a stoplight when it turns green.
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Comments (79)
Sopho_o 15
At least her coach will think she's suddenly become amazing, way to get attention!
Wizardo 34
Well if she's in the swim team and she's taking her time then in a few years you're gonna have the female equivalent of Phelps and you'll be in the money, just keep her motivated!
SWC_Penguin 17
This could be huge. Try saying "get better grades today." Or maybe "have you ever tried mowing the lawn?"
Catkam623 27
Wait was she good before or always in the back because if she's been first and taking her time she has real talent.
jesse_mxlover 6
Stupidest FML ever...
challan 19
I'm afraid it's not just swimming that she's slow at...
perdix 31
Go for the bronze! Gold and silver are for show-offs trying to compensate for other voids and inadequacies in their life.
cieloalicia 16
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
If she's n understand why she would do that, if she's a little older, maybe it's just not her thing
not_a_robot 15
What?
Jezzikah 11
I thinks it's trying to communicate with us
keepingitnasty 15
Was she out there doing the doggie paddle, or as I like to call it doggie style?
strike2867 13
Maybe she was being sarcastic.