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Today, I got angry after not being able to have an orgasm. What was I angry at? My own hand. FML
Today, I got angry after not being able to have an orgasm. What was I angry at? My own hand. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, my hand fell asleep while I was masturbating. My own body rejected me. FML
Today, I masturbated so hard I got a cramp in my forearm muscle so unexpectedly that my hand spasmed, slipped off my penis, and I punched myself in the face. FML
Today, I was about to lose my virginity. I couldn't get it up. FML
Today, I gave my boyfriend a handjob for the first time. Apparently, I was so bad at it that he eventually just slapped my hand away and angrily said he'd do it himself. FML
Today, I realised I may have some kind of problem, given that I masturbate daily, and sex with my wife no longer interests me because it takes too long, involves her instead of me alone, is too much hard work, and generally annoys me. FML
Today, while having some "personal" time, I felt intense pleasure and moaned. I learned that my own moaning prevents me from reaching my peak. I'm my own turn off. FML
Today, I realized just how much my bad sex life has started affecting me, when after not being able to climax from masturbating, I instinctively faked an orgasm. FML
Today, I was using the toilet. I was still insanely pissed off over an argument with my girlfriend, which kind of explains why I was wiping my ass so furiously that my fingers broke through the tissue and ended up in my ass, causing me to shriek like a little girl. FML
Today, after years of impotence, I woke up with a raging boner. I was so happy until I remembered my wife divorced me last year because of my impotence. This depressed me so much that I couldn’t muster the enthusiasm to masturbate, and the boner went bye bye, never to return. FML
Today, I was so sexually frustrated that I tried getting off with a banana. It was not enjoyable, for me or the banana. FML
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Top comments
Juneyah1017 9
.... Find a man! It shouldn't be hard if you want sex.
keverdeen 14
Maybe it's time to invest in a toy.
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Comments (134)
tortugaqueso 6
since no one's mentioned it yet watch some **** you'd be surprised at how well it'd turn you on and that's sometimes what you need to make you big O
bubble_burst 16
I shudder to think what if she was trying her hand cuz the boyfriend is no good??? and the males get blamed all the time ;-)
xgetxbentx 13
Don't stress so much about orgasming it makes it harder to achieve one. If you're on any medication look up the side effects to see if any are sex related. My anti-depressant makes it hard for me, basically the only thing you can do is to relax your mind and enjoy yourself. There's also other masturbation techniques you could try. Perhaps you just aren't doing it right.
Sal_G_63 5
Masturbation: you're doing it wrong.
TheYouget 4
Mine tends to get the job done... But I am a man too, so that might be the reason.
SleepWalken 5
Time for a toy... or a cucumber
kewpiesuicide 29
Wear socks lol. It's proven that having warm feet will help you ****** easier.
rsh1962 4
Anything I can do to help, just let me know.
Chevydude44_X 12
Toy time!
Xtreme1 1
If your hot ill give an ******