It's not what you think

By Anonymous - 12/07/2014 01:36 - United States - Coeur D Alene

Today, I went on a date and ate in the park. When I crossed my legs under the table, I scraped my knee and got a lot of splinters in it. When I got back home and started digging out the splinters, my dad furiously demanded to know why I'd been on my knees during the date. FML
I agree, your life sucks 49 636
You deserved it 4 826

Same thing different taste

Top comments

FrancesShiver 20

Well at least he wants to protect you...?

iLike2Teabag 27

To be fair, if I were the dad, I wood want to make sure the guy isn't a prick.


FrancesShiver 20

Well at least he wants to protect you...?

iLike2Teabag 27

To be fair, if I were the dad, I wood want to make sure the guy isn't a prick.

He doesn't mean to be a thorn in your side, OP, he just cares.

yupyupyuppity 5

Sometimes I dress myself as a rabbit and eat Trix in public, while screaming out "**** the police"

As if the splinters weren't enough. Now their dad is freaked out. That would be hard to explain.

how the heck do you get splinters in you knees if you're kneeling down

I have NO idea! I mean, it's not like anything on the park's ground is naturally made of wood and sharp (ahem, wood chips, ahem)!

Response "what do you think I was doing, don't you trust me?"

ninjuh_wingman 29

Cause that response won't make the dad more suspicious. Besides, as much as the dad probably trusts her, he's still gonna worry cause that's what a parent does.

yupyupyuppity 5

Sometimes, I glue fur to my body and climb on trees. When I see an unsuspecting passerby, I throw nuts at him and say "EAT MY SQUIRRELLY NUTS"

Just tell him the truth. If he doesn't believe you then either call the date and have him explain or just leave it.

Truth doesn't cure a father's fear that his daughter is getting banged. Sorry.

salvorican 24

Honestly, it's going to sound like a lie to the father no matter what the truth is. Especially getting splinters from crossing your legs. It sounds like a really crappy lie.

And then the date would describe the wild sex that they had had in amazing detail to him.

I'm not sure why #4 is getting thumbed down so bad. That's what I would do. If that doesn't work , what else is there? If she tells the truth and he doesn't believe her or the date, then there is nothing else you can do to convice OP's father.

How fortunate. I've always wanted to converse with a koala. Tell me, what does eucalyptus taste like?

football98_fml 20

God damn parents are so quick to assume things

@8, That would be because we've already been your age before. So you're not really trying to pull a new trick on us. You're just putting a new name on an old dog. My oldest son did it; and now so are my nephews and nieces I'm helping to raise. Kids lie and parents are overprotective. One day if you have your own, especially a daughter, and one who's popular, you'll soon understand why. But if your parents truly ARE overdoing it: might I recommend sitting down calmly to express yourself.

Eh, I'd assume too, given how this new generation has been generally acting.

To be fair, the "getting a splinter from crossing your legs" thing sounds a lot less plausible than anything else. I'd just tell your dad the truth, OP. He doesn't have to believe it, but it's the truth. Parents are always going to worry and immediately assume worst-case scenario.

What if the dad then thinks she's only preforming oral just to remain that said "virgin"? I knew some girls that uses to do everything butt intercourse just to claim they still have their virginities.

Hehehe butt intercourse. Sorry. My inner 13 year old doesn't slip out very often, I'll make sure to ground her.

killeensp 3

yeah, cuz God is going to help you with that.

A07 48

Is'nt this where you show him your purity ring?

What if he watched south park though? O.o

Dad probably had mom or her knees when he was your age Parents tend to prefer do as I say not as I did My friends who are most protective of their little gird ****** everyone who said yes

salvorican 24

Ops father should be proud. You sure were keeping your legs closed.

Are you a woman or a man? That could add some extra spice to the whole situation!