Some people, even some families are just not good at expressing love. Maybe Mom is just not comfortable expressing her feelings because she didn’t see that in her own family when she was growing up. Some time when you and mom are feeling comfortable talking, you might ask if she felt her own parents were good at expressing their feelings. That might lead to a discussion that might help. But don’t push it, sometimes it’s better not to know some things (such as was I an unwanted child). OP, you will survive. And some day you will find the love you crave - Just remember that others want to hear that too.

There's a culture of glorifying motherhood and mothers... it's absolutely ok to not have a great mom.. Move out as soon as you can and meet people

She was probably nice to you because she thinks you let her win.