Animals and Work: I'm not getting paid enough for this shit

I'm not getting paid enough for this shit

By Username - 20/10/2010 18:08 - France

Today, at work, my boss made me spend a hour trying to catch a baby raccoon in the parking lot. I'm a bank teller. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 653

You deserved it 3 490

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 18/09/2010 06:31 - United States

Today, I was bringing the garbage cans inside and noticed one felt a little heavy. I opened it, only to find a raccoon. A very angry raccoon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 447

You deserved it 2 928

Darwin smiled

By Ihateracoons - 06/09/2022 06:30

Today, I saw a raccoon family on my front porch. There were 3 little babies. Wanting to keep one as a pet, I scooped up one of the babies. The mother raccoon turned around, made a bizarre roaring, hissing sound, and attacked me. I’m currently in the ER covered in grass and scratches. FML

I agree, your life sucks 156

You deserved it 5 211

By and god shat - 11/07/2014 23:38 - United States - Klamath Falls

Today, while sitting on my front porch, my cat came up beside me. I started idly stroking her, only to turn and realize I was petting a wild raccoon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 277

You deserved it 9 081

By anonymous - 13/09/2012 06:02 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I found an enormous raccoon in my backyard. After a couple of nasty scratches, I finally managed to capture the filthy animal. After calling animal control to relocate it, I waited for hours to learn that "relocating" actually means releasing it into my front yard 10 feet away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 777

You deserved it 4 651

By shaviTuT - 07/02/2013 19:44 - Malaysia - Bandar Penggaram

Today, after three weeks of holding out, my stingy boss finally called animal control about the birds in the air vent above the register. While I was working, they rummaged through the vents, causing live maggots to fall down right in front of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 440

You deserved it 2 669

Batman

By Anonymous - 05/10/2021 23:00

Today, at work, someone found a bat indoors. I offered my help. They shouted, "Let someone with the right expertise do it." I volunteer as a bat carer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 043

You deserved it 111

By Anonymous - 16/01/2010 09:10 - Australia

Today, I was on a job trial at the local pet shop and, naturally, was doing all the disgusting jobs. As I was cleaning the kittens' litter in the cat enclosure, someone thought it would be funny to lock me in there. I sat in a giant cage in the middle of the store with people laughing at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 466

You deserved it 3 101

By heymacie - 29/04/2016 01:41 - United States - Beckley

Today, it was my second day at my new job as a bank teller. I got locked in the vault while alarms were being tested. I was in there for an hour and none of my coworkers had even noticed that I'd gone missing. Gee, thanks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 133

You deserved it 1 169

Stressed out

By mystermoon - 25/06/2019 16:00

Today, at my job in a pet store, my boss had me pull all the bags of food out and restock them so that they sat pretty. Five minutes later, the store is full of people. My manager screamed, "They're touching things!" and locked himself in the office with a cup of tea. He has the only open register. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 900

You deserved it 115

It's alive!

By notmyrealname123 - 25/08/2014 00:08 - Canada - Kitchener

Today, I found my cat downstairs with a squirrel dangling from his mouth. When I saw this, I yelled at my cat to put it down. He did. Turns out the squirrel was still alive and run. I had to spend the next three hours chasing it out of my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 725

You deserved it 6 422

krushr 3

Wednesday 20 October 2010 23:04

Maybe he thought it was a bank robber?

w2z1 0

Wednesday 20 October 2010 23:06

It was wearing a mask!

Comments

yaknowiverse 0

Tuesday 4 October 2011 1:07

keep it! they make great pets! I have one named Rob!

D3AD_RING3R 0

Sunday 30 October 2011 18:16

Hahaha. I'm gonna be honest, I would have rather been chasing the raccoon anyway.

gress269 4

Monday 12 December 2011 1:47

This is obviously fake, if you were a bank teller then you would know how to use proper grammar. Dumbshit.

giggitygoo12 7

Monday 1 October 2012 2:45

But but but but but there so cute and cwudly

jessherself13 21

Wednesday 3 April 2013 6:29

"Bank Bandit," the baby raccoon. He could be your new mascot!

The_9th_Doctor 18

Saturday 28 September 2013 10:34

tell the bastard that's not part of ur job

mea_iloveskiing 26

Thursday 27 February 2014 0:28

The raccoon whisperer

cwl727 32

Tuesday 15 April 2014 1:52

Did you catch it?

247pacient 11

Thursday 9 April 2015 9:15

YDI in a good way, I'd love doing that :D

annalivlivliv 20

Thursday 30 July 2015 14:46

Baby Racoons are adorable, I hope it turned out ok.

Keywords

Management Work Miscellaneous Friends Awkward Relatable Health Healthy Lifestyle Money Birthday Family Mother in law Gifts Parents Public freakouts Education Exams Students Pranks Weird Love Argument AITA Insects Fear Cats Skincare Job interview Jealousy Coworkers

The Top

Today, I realized my breasts look like sweat socks and my ass is sagging so much, it slaps the back of my legs. My neck has grown three chins, and I have put on 40 lbs. Yes, the golden years are here at last, and they can certainly kiss my ass. Happy 50th to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 382

You deserved it 494

Today, I got popcorn when getting groceries. I was excited to see popcorn butter spray on sale and decided to try it. Excited, I made some popcorn while I went to use the can. Butter sprayed like an aerosol can all over my desk and floor. Now, my apartment smells like a movie theater and there's butter EVERYWHERE! FML

I agree, your life sucks 193

You deserved it 332

The Top

Today, my girlfriend and I were going at it doggy style, really fast, when she started laughing. I asked her what was so amusing and she giggled, "I can't feel anything in there." FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 588

You deserved it 9 793

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I agree, your life sucks 14 635

You deserved it 2 032

Today, I found out that my crazy stalker got a crazy stalker too. And she's also stalking me. So basically, I'm in some sort of a stalking triangle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 417

You deserved it 295

Today, my lips were dry and chapped, so I asked if I could use some of my friend's chapstick. She didn't mind, so I quickly put some on. Only later did I notice that my lips were sparkly. Turns out it was glitter balm. Now everyone calls me "princess." FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 889

You deserved it 13 690

Today, my 4 year-old asked to go outside and play in the sprinkler. I told him not right now because I was busy and he's too little to play outside by himself. I came out of the laundry room later to find he'd brought the sprinkler in the house and turned the water on. At least he listened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 824

You deserved it 8 676

Today, I forgot my boyfriend was allergic to nuts and ate Nutella toast before he arrived. He had just brought me flowers for doing well in an exam and I kissed him. He had a reaction and I had to stab him in the leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 837

You deserved it 10 584