Health: Happy Easter!

Happy Easter!

By Dummy - 01/04/2018 15:00

Today, I was stuck in the bathroom with no toilet paper in a family member’s house. I looked around and found baby wipes. I was saved! Unfortunately, they were actually Clorox wipes. The bleach gave me a chemical burn in my ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 721

You deserved it 1 415

Health

Previous FML Next FML

Add a comment - Reply to : #

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

lukesick1 12

Thursday 29 March 2018 14:30

Was there no label?

Zekfen 17

Sunday 1 April 2018 16:26

You should leave the anal bleaching to the professionals at the spa!

lukesick1 12

Thursday 29 March 2018 14:30

Was there no label?

LAUGHINGKOMODO 25

Send a private message

Sunday 1 April 2018 15:43

I'm not sure what to say besides hoping that wiping your ass made your family members not notice anything.FYL

Glowworm56 26

Send a private message

Sunday 1 April 2018 15:45

Seriously? You didn't try a tissue?

julfunky 29

Sunday 1 April 2018 16:23

Most people I’ve known don’t have any tissues in the bathroom.

Glowworm56 26

Send a private message

Sunday 1 April 2018 18:45

I have tissues in my bathroom, and paper towels.

Luke16eirb7deneuwn1 20

Sunday 1 April 2018 16:09

Guess you had a HOT night. Alright, I'm on my way outside... No need to show me the way, I can find the door in my own...

thehaystackerine 20

Sunday 1 April 2018 16:14

It's called "reading." Top to bottom, left to right, group words together as a sentence. Take Tylenol for headaches... Midol for cramps.

ThrottleJockey 34

Send a private message

Monday 2 April 2018 15:17

Shut up, Richard.

Zekfen 17

Sunday 1 April 2018 16:26

You should leave the anal bleaching to the professionals at the spa!

RichardPencil 30

Send a private message

Sunday 1 April 2018 16:39

So, you assumed they were baby wipes? We all know what happens when you ASSUME: You make your ASS a molten fireball of stupidity.

wanted_2_want 40

Send a private message

Sunday 1 April 2018 16:57

I bet your ass has never been sparkling clean ever before.

manb91uk 22

Sunday 1 April 2018 17:31

Well, you've got the ring of fire now

Lobby_Bee 17

Sunday 1 April 2018 17:45

You deserve it. There are labels on the packs which indicate they are not baby wipes, but you failed to read it.

Nearly

Today, I realized that as I don’t have Facebook, Twitter, Instagram or any of the other things of the world today, this is my only contact with the world other than work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41

You deserved it 31

Today, I go back to school after the winter break. I went to bed at a normal time so I wouldn’t fall asleep in class. I woke up at 3 a.m. and I still have to get up at 6. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57

You deserved it 20

Spicy

Today, I learned that my insecurities regarding my dick size were unfounded, as my girlfriend gushed over my dick and said it was amazing. We then got down to business, and almost immediately heard, "Ow! Fuck, that's my cervix! This hurts! Stop!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 402

You deserved it 712

Today, I'm stuck at my future brother-in-law’s Bachelor party. Ten guys I don’t know, who are all younger than me. It turns out two of them have been fucking since High School, and it’s an open secret in their group. I won’t out them, but only cause I don’t care enough to remember names. FML

I agree, your life sucks 382

You deserved it 570

Happy Easter!

Add a comment - Reply to : #

Top comments

Comments