Today, I found out about my parent's divorce over Facebook. FML - FML

By MissCommunicate - 5/2/2011 15:36 - Australia

Today, I found out about my parent's divorce over Facebook. FML

I agree, your life sucks

43220

You deserved it

3033

Tweet

Share

MissCommunicate Say more :

I am only seventeen, and that's how I found out. My parents were then quick to give me the "talk".

Instadrama

In my day…

You snooze, you lose

By ev_lyn_aw - 28/2/2017 02:00

Today, I received a company-wide email from my boss, praising a coworker's extra effort at improving our line of business. The coworker's efforts were a direct copy-and-paste of a plan I put together three months ago. No one cared when I gave the presentation. FML

I agree, your life sucks

6745

You deserved it

418

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 28/4/2020 23:00

Pincushion

Today, I accidentally broke a vase. When I was clearing it up, I used my bare hand to sweep up the shards without thinking. I'm still fishing pieces of broken glass out of my hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks

548

You deserved it

1844

Tweet

Share

By SMV - 11/11/2008 06:53 - France

Today, my company was having a huge party. I got to work dressed in my best outfit. At the the lunch break my boss told me, "You really missed out on something yesterday, it was great fun!" FML

I agree, your life sucks

31679

You deserved it

5876

Tweet

Share

By disappointed - 7/6/2011 17:05 - United States

Today, after spending thousands of dollars and several years pursuing a higher education so I could get a high paying job doing something that requires skill and brainpower, I finally got my first job offer after months of searching. I will be cleaning houses. FML

I agree, your life sucks

40540

You deserved it

5807

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 3/7/2014 00:59

Today, I opened my window due to the good weather. I was lucky enough to listen to the sounds of someone violently throwing up for over an hour. The window got stuck open. FML

I agree, your life sucks

40395

You deserved it

4494

Tweet

Share

By jroberts - 25/1/2011 15:25

Today, I was watching TV in my living room while my wife was cooking. I began to smell the aroma of her potato soup, which made me hungry. Suddenly, I realized that the smell wasn't my wife's cooking but was in fact my body odor. FML

I agree, your life sucks

8346

You deserved it

41923

Tweet

Share

By cjay2200 - 28/8/2011 21:25 - United Kingdom

Today, my son was eating a plum. I was busy in the kitchen, and he came running in saying "Mummy my plum is wet", I told him it was fine and bit a bit off to prove it. He looked at me and said "No Mummy! Can you wash it please, I dropped it in my potty". I feel ill. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36060

You deserved it

9854

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 6/1/2015 18:54 - United Kingdom

Today, desperate for work, I went into a shop and asked the owner if he had any spare jobs to fill. He looked me up and down and sneered "Yes, but not for people like... you." FML

I agree, your life sucks

31650

You deserved it

2993

Tweet

Share

By fuzzle003 - 13/6/2012 12:47 - Australia - Canberra

Today, I finally bought the expensive but beautifully stylish dress I've been eyeing for ages online. Ten minutes later, I went back to check the shoes the model was wearing so I could coordinate my outfit. The dress had been reduced to half price. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33527

You deserved it

4106

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 26/4/2011 02:37 - United Kingdom

Today, I got a letter back from the family I will be staying with as a part of an exchange program. Apparently they own a slaughterhouse type farm, and I'm expected to kill one of their animals and eat it as a gift from the family. I'm a vegan. FML

I agree, your life sucks

42152

You deserved it

19337

Tweet

Share

By gimp. - 8/5/2009 08:28 - United States

Today, I had surgery on my foot. The doctor told me I'd be on crutches for 6 months. I texted my boyfriend the news, promising lots of intimate favors if he'd watch movies with me while on bed rest for the next week. He texted back, "No way. I don't date cripples." Dumped for a broken foot. FML

I agree, your life sucks

67150

You deserved it

5242

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 19/10/2016 10:54 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, during my shift as a vet nurse, I picked up a gorgeous cat for cuddles, only to discover it was covered with pee. And now I am too. I still have 4 hours of my shift. FML

I agree, your life sucks

10321

You deserved it

2456

Tweet

Share

By FuckingDone - 20/5/2016 23:08 - United States - Enterprise

Today, my brother's refused to shower after 2 weeks of dripping sweat and never changing clothes. He claims the smell is just his "manly musk" and if I can't handle it, then maybe I'm the problem. FML

I agree, your life sucks

13989

You deserved it

1080

Tweet

Share

By DarkSerebii - 5/6/2014 15:16 - United States

Today, a customer at work said his table was dirty. I asked which one he was sitting at so I could clean it for him. For some bizarre reason he got pissed and called my manager over. He ended up reporting us to corporate, and my manager got written up. He's blaming me for everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks

45715

You deserved it

3602

Tweet

Share

By black_pheonix77 - 3/7/2020 02:02

Hi, how are you?

Today, even though I’m not allowed to be on my phone while on the line at work, I texted an unknown number. My manager looked at her Apple Watch. I'd texted my manager while on the job. FML

I agree, your life sucks

375

You deserved it

1944

Tweet

Share

By Cherrish it - 4/9/2012 04:24 - United States - Carmichael

Today, a girl told me she stopped eating cherries ever since her father choked on one when she was a kid. She later mentioned that she doesn't like to drive. I sarcastically asked, "Did your dad choke on a car too?" Nope, her two brothers died in a car accident. FML

I agree, your life sucks

10560

You deserved it

58598

Tweet

Share

By fired tomoz - 29/10/2014 15:46 - South Africa - Pretoria

Today, I woke up to a text from my manager, saying "Hed's up dude, ur gettin fired tomoz. CEO's pissed. No hard feelins m8". Great. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36670

You deserved it

2992

Tweet

Share

By fuglymug - 8/1/2016 21:48 - United States - Appleton

Today, I played charades with my girlfriend and her family. When it was her turn to act out a phrase, she simply walked to the center of the room and pointed to herself and then at me. It took less than 5 seconds for someone to correctly guess "Beauty and the Beast". FML

I agree, your life sucks

26326

You deserved it

2332

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 21/12/2017 06:00

Today, I moved back to a small town after 4 years in the city. I was looking forward to getting away from the light pollution until I woke up in the middle of the night, peered into the pitch black void above my head, and had a panic attack. I need a night light at 23. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3834

You deserved it

819

Tweet

Share

By hornyloser - 2/5/2011 18:46 - United States

Today, I had some hot phone sex with my long-distance girlfriend. Half-way through, my mom stormed in, and told me I was disgusting and sick for doing it in the same room as my brother. I forgot about the baby monitor. FML

I agree, your life sucks

17832

You deserved it

70019

Tweet

Share

By workwork - 5/8/2019 14:00

Today, I got a threatening email from my manager, saying my job is in jeopardy if I call off again. Somehow, my leaving early to drive my mom to the ER is inexcusable, yet it's perfectly fine for the same manager to leave early to take her dogs to the groomers. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1817

You deserved it

139

Tweet

Share

By camzzz - 2/7/2011 08:27 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I were walking around when she got lost in a crowd. And me, being a pig, playfully grabbed her butt. I realized it wasn't hers when the guy whose butt I'd grabbed by accident knocked me unconscious. FML

I agree, your life sucks

12136

You deserved it

47419

Tweet

Share

By LFE - 16/10/2013 04:40 - United States - Liberty Hill

Today, after applying at over 30 businesses over the past 6 months, I have had not one single call. I later find out that I was using my old phone number on the applications, and my secondary phone was my mom's. She thought they were telemarketers. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27557

You deserved it

45250

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 25/12/2009 07:09 - United States

Today, I was making out with my girlfriend. Things got a little hot and I started to pull up my shirt. She screamed and told me to stop because the innocence of her stuffed animals was at stake. We are 18, and she was dead serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27417

You deserved it

4069

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 4/1/2011 20:28 - United States

Today, I hit a parked car which was sticking out in the road and practically unavoidable. I left a note on the windshield saying, "You deserved to get hit - you park like an asshole." Later I realized that the paper I tore to write on was the back of my bank statement, name and address included. FML

I agree, your life sucks

9474

You deserved it

79529

Tweet

Share

By High school senior - 31/8/2017 23:15

Today, I spent the first day of my senior year in the ER because my new ear piercing got so infected that the doctors had to cut the earring out. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2625

You deserved it

875

Tweet

Share

By Jaws - 10/2/2011 16:09 - France

Today, I got slapped in the face by my girlfriend with a banana skin, because I finished up the chocolate cake. FML

I agree, your life sucks

13725

You deserved it

38470

Tweet

Share

By Lost - 14/1/2010 15:57 - United States

Today, it was my 18th birthday. Nobody said anything. Gillette sent me a free razor though. FML

I agree, your life sucks

40183

You deserved it

3129

Tweet

Share

By lolgarbl - 26/2/2009 17:05 - United States

Today, I had a performance evaluation meeting with my boss. He told me I was the best in my department, and that the productivity has never been higher before I started working here. Oh, and he said that because everything is working so well, they don't need me as much, so he's cutting my hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks

59128

You deserved it

2751

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 29/5/2016 02:20 - United States - Exeter

Today, my mom was "that" customer at the local drive-thru. She slipped into attention whore mode and bitched the guy out for not giving us extra fries. He said she didn't ask for any, which was true. Instead of apologizing, she swore at him and floored the gas, sending our drinks spilling all over me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

13877

Phew, glad it wasn't me

1722

Tweet

Share

By danny5191 - 17/3/2012 02:21 - United Kingdom

Today, I had a nasty cough, but I went to college anyway. When I walked into class, I could practically smell menstrual blood in the air. After a few coughs, our instructor gave me an "Oh, shut up!" After half an hour, she kicked me out for not "taking the class seriously". FML

I agree, your life sucks

26853

You deserved it

8528

Tweet

Share

By gringa_Peru - 18/4/2009 01:19 - Peru

Today, I had the good fortune of finding a seat on the bus, not the norm in Peru. Several minutes after sitting down, I felt something on my shoulder. Thinking it was a hand, I turned my head to look. I came face to face with a dirty man's crotch, it was his erection resting on my shoulder. FML

I agree, your life sucks

169617

You deserved it

9820

Tweet

Share

By Toast514 - 29/7/2009 23:49 - Canada

Today, I was short shifted at work because one of my employee's decided not to show up. Furious, I wrote her up and made predetermined judgments about her. When she came in, I went off on her for being absent and leaving me stuck. She then informed me her mom tried to commit suicide. FML

I agree, your life sucks

13097

You deserved it

61973

Tweet

Share

By notonthepavement - 15/2/2016 11:04 - United States - Desoto

Today, as I went to kiss my date goodbye and drive home, he mistakenly rammed his thumb across my eye hard enough to push my contact back into my eye socket. FML

I agree, your life sucks

22642

You deserved it

1646

Tweet

Share

By Noname - 17/2/2009 08:30 - Canada

Today, I told my boyfriend that I was afraid our future children would be fat and ugly. He reassured me, saying that he was sure our spawn would take on after him. FML

I agree, your life sucks

37767

You deserved it

13402

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 1/5/2012 19:51 - Canada - Oakville

Today, my new neighbours moved in. I've neither seen nor spoken to them yet; all I know is that they enjoy hammering at the walls for hours on end and repeatedly setting off the fire alarm. All this in the small hours of the morning. I got two hours of sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks

22895

You deserved it

1982

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 14/4/2012 05:41 - United States - Garden Grove

Today, my boss fired me because he wants to start dating my mother and apparently doesn't want it to be "awkward." FML

I agree, your life sucks

31081

You deserved it

1876

Tweet

Share

By phonegotlostinthepark - 3/12/2013 17:54 - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, I lost my phone. I called the number from my friend's phone, hoping I could find it. A guy answered, laughed "Thanks for the phone!" and hung up. FML

I agree, your life sucks

51077

You deserved it

4125

Tweet

Share

By Awkward - 19/7/2012 02:15 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I sat awkwardly and pretended like I didn't notice my cousin discreetly trying to masturbate while talking to me. This isn't the first time anything like this has happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks

38730

You deserved it

3825

Tweet

Share

By prostitott - 4/5/2013 07:22

Today, I caught my 14-year-old daughter stealing alcohol from me. After berating her for half-an-hour I finally said, "At least you're not doing drugs." She gave me a guilty smile and sheepishly said, "At least I'm not a prostitute?" FML

I agree, your life sucks

69354

You deserved it

15328

Tweet

Share

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

By MrBoredGuy | 1

#2049296 - Saturday 5 February 2011 20:07

did you "like" it?

By fatman1970 | 25

#2049226 - Saturday 5 February 2011 19:54

I would have thought they would have had the decency to take you to one side and break the news.

COMMENTS

By fatman1970 | 25

#2049226 - Saturday 5 February 2011 19:54

I would have thought they would have had the decency to take you to one side and break the news.

Reply

GiddyXD | 0

#2049951 - Sunday 6 February 2011 0:49

is this pointing to another Fml?

Reply

StudMuffinette | 17

#2900379 - Friday 15 July 2011 21:58

ouch... sorry op

By machiko_fml | 0

#2049260 - Saturday 5 February 2011 20:01

Haa.. and Facebook never lies.

Reply

mlia172 | 0

#2388042 - Friday 22 April 2011 14:37

That's rude.

By derpherp | 0

#2049267 - Saturday 5 February 2011 20:03

(ｰｰ;) old people....they're into Facebook way to much (￣ー￣)

By tiffanylovesyou | 0

#2049279 - Saturday 5 February 2011 20:04

It's Kayy. I found out bout my mom and stepdads marriage over Facebook. Wtf?

By MrBoredGuy | 1

#2049296 - Saturday 5 February 2011 20:07

did you "like" it?

Reply

disha8497 | 0

#2050446 - Sunday 6 February 2011 4:09

lmao

Reply

schadenfreude26 | 0

#2055617 - Monday 7 February 2011 18:19

Ha.

By jmac317 | 0

#2049315 - Saturday 5 February 2011 20:09

haaaaaa ya like the post

By mrahhhhh | 19

#2049324 - Saturday 5 February 2011 20:12

Congratulations OP. Your parents may have just gotten 20 asshole points, which means you have 20 revenge points. Use them wisely!

By DocBastard | 38

#2049329 - Saturday 5 February 2011 20:12

Is that so? So what do we get, GeezerBook? WrinklyFaceBook? Well I say fuck that! We pay the bills, so you damn kids can get YOUR own shit!

And get off my damn lawn!

By iknowimawesome | 13

#2049340 - Saturday 5 February 2011 20:16

Ahhh... the power of facebook.

By MlKAYLA | 0

#2049356 - Saturday 5 February 2011 20:18

Wow, just had to be Facebook. xD