Today, I checked my voicemail. I was really surprised to hear an adorable message from my boyfriend, who is vacationing in Florida. I was even more surprised to hear him having sex with some other girl for the last seven minutes of the message. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I woke up and had a voicemail from my boyfriend. I just thought nothing of it because it was a pocket dial. I decided to listen to it carefully and realized it was him having sex with another girl. FML
Today, my girlfriend left a message on my phone. It was just the sounds of her having sex with somebody. FML
Today, an unknown number left me a lengthy voicemail of what sounds like two people having sex. This is the closest I've gotten to real-life sex in 2 years. I listened to it three times. FML
Today, my mom came into my bedroom and told me to "Listen to this voicemail." I listened to me and my girlfriend talking dirty, followed by the bed springs bouncing for three minutes. I had my phone in the pocket while I was having sex with her and it left my mom a nice voicemail. FML
Today, my long distance boyfriend sent me a Snap of him fucking another girl. When he realized he'd sent it to me, he called me, trying to explain, "it's not what it looks like. It was meant for the boys." Two days ago, I made plans to visit him. Guess who's out money and single. FML
Today, I ran up to my boyfriend and gave him a kiss. I didn't understand why the girl next to him got upset, but it turns out the voicemail I deleted by accident was him breaking up with me. FML
Today, my boyfriend sent me a text saying to call him. When I did, it went straight to voicemail. It was a recording of him breaking up with me. He broke up with me over the phone, without even talking to me. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were talking on the phone, and things got a little heated. We were in the middle of some kinky dialog, complete with hand action when he suddenly goes silent. While waiting for a response, I heard typing on the other end. He was checking his email. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were making love. Her phone rang, and she stopped to answer it. It was her ex-boyfriend, calling her from jail. She talked to him for 15 minutes. To top it all off, before she hung up, I heard her tell him she loved him, and couldn't wait for him to get out. FML
Today, I called my boyfriend just to hear his voice since I haven't seen him in a while. His mom picked up and said "Chris isn't here right now, he's with his girlfriend. Do you want to leave him a message." We've been dating for 4 and a half months now. FML
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Top comments
alyssamarie218 0
ex boyfriend now, i hope
angorashi 0
Damn. Go key his car or something.
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Comments (121)
pchands00 0
Today, i was having a one night stand with some guy. He surprised me by calling his girlfriend to leave a cute message before the sex. It only lasted 7 minutes. I'm not talking about the phone call. FML
EmpyreanGoddess 0
Win.
werewolf_13 0
omfg, roflmfao!!!! :D
pchands00 0
agreed
SweetTea90 0
I like your idea, she could also hit his car with a bat and then when police ask be like with the most innocent face " No officer, I have been home and I would never do something like that. Only a crazy bitch would do that"
scarlett29 0
Wow. That sucks.
Enigma1313 0
what if his best friend was a girl o wait that would be kinda hot nvm
lilcuti3pi389 0
Lol @42. And damn that sux
lolatyouhaha 0
lol #28, how old are you, 12? please learn how to type/speak english properly.
AndelleRae 9
My dear, there is a fine line between what is said as a joke, and what is said in a completely serious manner. You'd do well to learn it.
stfuminjakid 0
To everyone who claims that voice mails can't be longer than 1 minute are idiots. That may be true on some devices but I can name countless times where I've left 10 minute prank calls on my friend's phone and I can even take a screen shot of my visual voice mail on my G1 that shows some messages that I have that are even five minutes long. God I hate people who act like they know everything and come off as so damn convicted about it =/
bigems 0
yo this is 2009, half these kids dont even know what a cassette is!