Today, I checked my voicemail. I was really surprised to hear an adorable message from my boyfriend, who is vacationing in Florida. I was even more surprised to hear him having sex with some other girl for the last seven minutes of the message. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I woke up and had a voicemail from my boyfriend. I just thought nothing of it because it was a pocket dial. I decided to listen to it carefully and realized it was him having sex with another girl. FML
Today, my girlfriend left a message on my phone. It was just the sounds of her having sex with somebody. FML
Today, an unknown number left me a lengthy voicemail of what sounds like two people having sex. This is the closest I've gotten to real-life sex in 2 years. I listened to it three times. FML
Today, my mom came into my bedroom and told me to "Listen to this voicemail." I listened to me and my girlfriend talking dirty, followed by the bed springs bouncing for three minutes. I had my phone in the pocket while I was having sex with her and it left my mom a nice voicemail. FML
Today, my long distance boyfriend sent me a Snap of him fucking another girl. When he realized he'd sent it to me, he called me, trying to explain, "it's not what it looks like. It was meant for the boys." Two days ago, I made plans to visit him. Guess who's out money and single. FML
Today, I ran up to my boyfriend and gave him a kiss. I didn't understand why the girl next to him got upset, but it turns out the voicemail I deleted by accident was him breaking up with me. FML
Today, my boyfriend sent me a text saying to call him. When I did, it went straight to voicemail. It was a recording of him breaking up with me. He broke up with me over the phone, without even talking to me. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were talking on the phone, and things got a little heated. We were in the middle of some kinky dialog, complete with hand action when he suddenly goes silent. While waiting for a response, I heard typing on the other end. He was checking his email. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were making love. Her phone rang, and she stopped to answer it. It was her ex-boyfriend, calling her from jail. She talked to him for 15 minutes. To top it all off, before she hung up, I heard her tell him she loved him, and couldn't wait for him to get out. FML
Today, I called my boyfriend just to hear his voice since I haven't seen him in a while. His mom picked up and said "Chris isn't here right now, he's with his girlfriend. Do you want to leave him a message." We've been dating for 4 and a half months now. FML
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Top comments
alyssamarie218 0
ex boyfriend now, i hope
angorashi 0
Damn. Go key his car or something.
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Comments (121)
SKYblue_fml 1
and you, sir, are the reason many women think most men are selfish jackasses.
CyclonePsycho 1
Mmm, fairies. Tasty! >:D
SweetTea90 0
You sir need an ass whooping
emmasue782 0
Wow, what a ******. Get even!
MoobyTheCow 2
What cellphone services let you go over 5 minutes? Most cut you off at around 3.
nodbor 11
Snowlight_fml 7
EPIC. FAIL. Those are the first two things that come into mind when I think of your BF :D Yeah. Remind him to press the red button to actually stop the voicemail next time.
Thunk 0
Get another man, have sex wtih him and send your asshole boyfriend the video!!!!
shnibz101 0
So? What was the "adorable" message?
shnibz101 0
97, LOL