Today, I checked my voicemail. I was really surprised to hear an adorable message from my boyfriend, who is vacationing in Florida. I was even more surprised to hear him having sex with some other girl for the last seven minutes of the message. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I woke up and had a voicemail from my boyfriend. I just thought nothing of it because it was a pocket dial. I decided to listen to it carefully and realized it was him having sex with another girl. FML
Today, my girlfriend left a message on my phone. It was just the sounds of her having sex with somebody. FML
Today, an unknown number left me a lengthy voicemail of what sounds like two people having sex. This is the closest I've gotten to real-life sex in 2 years. I listened to it three times. FML
Today, my mom came into my bedroom and told me to "Listen to this voicemail." I listened to me and my girlfriend talking dirty, followed by the bed springs bouncing for three minutes. I had my phone in the pocket while I was having sex with her and it left my mom a nice voicemail. FML
Today, my long distance boyfriend sent me a Snap of him fucking another girl. When he realized he'd sent it to me, he called me, trying to explain, "it's not what it looks like. It was meant for the boys." Two days ago, I made plans to visit him. Guess who's out money and single. FML
Today, I ran up to my boyfriend and gave him a kiss. I didn't understand why the girl next to him got upset, but it turns out the voicemail I deleted by accident was him breaking up with me. FML
Today, my boyfriend sent me a text saying to call him. When I did, it went straight to voicemail. It was a recording of him breaking up with me. He broke up with me over the phone, without even talking to me. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were talking on the phone, and things got a little heated. We were in the middle of some kinky dialog, complete with hand action when he suddenly goes silent. While waiting for a response, I heard typing on the other end. He was checking his email. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were making love. Her phone rang, and she stopped to answer it. It was her ex-boyfriend, calling her from jail. She talked to him for 15 minutes. To top it all off, before she hung up, I heard her tell him she loved him, and couldn't wait for him to get out. FML
Today, I called my boyfriend just to hear his voice since I haven't seen him in a while. His mom picked up and said "Chris isn't here right now, he's with his girlfriend. Do you want to leave him a message." We've been dating for 4 and a half months now. FML
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Top comments
alyssamarie218 0
ex boyfriend now, i hope
angorashi 0
Damn. Go key his car or something.
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Comments (121)
DarthJeff 0
Did you notice if his skills are improving?
bettadenne1 0
^^FTW
angorashi 0
Damn. Go key his car or something.
kathryn14 19
Please. Or let me know where he is and I will for you.
thesupper 3
typical woman advice.. if you do something like that your just simply a dumb ****. break up with the man and let that be it. when a woman cheats you don't see men destroying her shit although we should considering most women act like *****.
Miss_Whipped 43
Women haters are so adorable. As though men aren't capable of doing some ****** up shit.... oh wait, that's exactly what this FML was about.
CaptainPat 0
dump his ass
Whirling_Kumquat 0
Maybe he was masturbating...
colourmealy 0
of all times to call you
haxromana 2
I know, right? "Shit, I feel kinda guilty about this. I'm going to call my girlfriend." "Oh, I'll just get up and -" "Nonono, just stay right there, it'll only take a second." "..." *beep beep boop boop beep beep beep* "...Hey babe!" Sexay.
Jim9349 10
Bang him back.
haxromana 2
Hey, better that you heard it, in my opinion. Now you can leave the manwhore and find someone better.
thatgirl21 0
FYL. and FHL if you have an evil plan.
alexis0fdreams 0
That really sucks.. hope he gets run over or something.
fuzion50 6
WTF THAT IS MEAN
xxrawr_betchxx 0
rotfl.
SweetTea90 0
That sucks.... I have had that happen!!!!! Then I took a bat to his truck!