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Today, my mom caught me talking to my penis. FML
Today, my mom caught me talking to my penis. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my mother caught me masturbating. Trying to defuse the awkward tension, I said "Oh, I was just thinking about you!" Not a good idea. FML
Today, my mom tried to give me the sex talk, while I was mounting my boyfriend. FML
Today, I came home to see my husband talking to his penis. FML
Today, my mom found my dildo, and got so angry that she beat me with it. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. I was about to suck his dick when my mom walked in. FML
Today, I was watching porn and found my mom on a webcam. When I told her that I saw her, she just took away my computer and told me to get off porn. FML
Today, while at a neighborhood party, my drunk mother told all our neighbors, including a girl I like, about my struggles with a micropenis. FML
Today, I walked in on my mom in the bathroom, washing a dildo. FML
Today, despite being 21 years old and living in my own place, my mom still managed to walk in on me whacking off. FML
Today, my mom walked in on me masturbating. She didnt look away and we stared at each other for a while; then she asked me what I wanted from McDonalds. FML
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Top comments
X_o_X_ocutie 0
u were talking to your dick, Why?
MrNiceGuy518 3
-insert clever penis joke here-
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Comments (415)
MsSoulReaper 27
haha! xD Wow. Now that's funny.
TCoop1515 0
wait thats not normal?......i mean uh, what? who said that......jking
boyv 0
wtf
AnnaBananaGal 0
Can I ask why you were talking to your dick? & what was your moms response when she caught you ?,she caught you red handed OP!
ympeter 0
does it talk back to you?
udeserveitxXx 0
cant say thats a very common occurence in my house.... but whatever you get off to is your business
rudikk99 2
what did penis say about it?
monkeebalz 0
mkbella123 i have a joke about my penis but its too long
mandi625 0
... Interesting conversation you had with your dick there eh? Atleast lock the door next time if you're gonna keep doing that. YDI.
Vienna 0
always make sure the door is locked before the start of any pep talk.