By Anonymous

(facepalm)

Today, while working roadside assistance, I arrived to a bewildered client who couldn't find their spare tire. The vehicle in question was a Jeep. I pointed out the spare, but was corrected as "that's just for decoration." FML

I agree, your life sucks

4815

You deserved it

285

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Work

Transportation

Late term

On the ball

Give me my drugs!

By Broke and Blonde

Today, I had an interview for a new position in my company. The head of HR decided to sit and I got so nervous that I just spouted gibberish for 45 minutes. Pretty sure I convinced her I’m not qualified for the position I’m currently in. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1809

You deserved it

541

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By Anonymous

Today, after 4 years of college to get a BA in Marketing and 2 years to get an MBA, I landed a great job as a receptionist. My boss likes to fist bump when I buzz him through the security door correctly. FML

I agree, your life sucks

4098

You deserved it

737

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By lonely one - United States

Today, it's been a week since I've been in hospital. No one has been to visit me. The nurses have nicknamed me "The Lonely One." FML

I agree, your life sucks

32569

You deserved it

2008

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By ohgodwhy - United States

Today, I spent hours baking an apple pie to impress my future mother-in-law. I was especially proud of the fact I'd made the crust and filling myself. When I served it to her, she picked off the crust and, between mouthfuls, bitched that it was nothing like canned pie filling. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28450

You deserved it

2079

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By Vahootie - United States

Today, my parents refused to visit me at college because "the flights are too expensive." They are currently shopping for a new car to replace my mother's two-year-old Porsche. FML

I agree, your life sucks

81749

You deserved it

4038

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By firstdategonebad - Canada - Toronto

Today, I went on a coffee date with the man I've been in love with for a while. Before I knew what was going on, he'd started chatting up a pretty girl sitting nearby. I had to drink my coffee alone while he got her number. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26742

You deserved it

2544

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By stop it ninja - United States - Fredericksburg

Today, while I was using my computer, my cat ran up to the power strip, looked me in the eyes, and hit the power switch, turning everything off. She does this quite often. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28480

You deserved it

4905

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I spent the entire day packing my car full of boxes for my move tomorrow. When I finally finished, I realized I didn't have the car key. It's inside one of the boxes. FML

I agree, your life sucks

15662

You deserved it

32106

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By Tea_baggins - Australia - Rozelle

Today, I woke up at 6am and went into the kitchen, where I saw a mouse in front of the fridge. Petrified, I stood in the doorway shooing it for a few minutes. My husband then walked into the kitchen, picked up the "mouse", and threw it in the bin. It was a used tea bag. FML

I agree, your life sucks

41242

You deserved it

19687

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By pubes - United States

Today, I came back to my room and sat down at my desk to find pile short, curly hairs on it. Neither me or my roommate have curly hair, and it isn't mine. I think he trimmed his pubes over my desk and forgot to clean it up. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29353

You deserved it

2957

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I threw an elaborate surprise birthday party for my boyfriend of four years. He thought we were going to a quiet dinner but when we arrived, thirty of his friends jumped out and surprised him. Instead of kissing me to thank me, he broke up with me because of how easily I had lied to him. FML

I agree, your life sucks

53592

You deserved it

4720

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By Anonymous - United States - Brandon

Today, my brother was doing an extremely annoying Shrek impression, so I turned the TV on in a desperate attempt to drown him out. You'll never guess what movie was on. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34602

You deserved it

4631

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By Anonymous - Australia

Today, my father decided to tell me in detail when and how he lost his virginity. He even told me what position it was and who this girl was. I will never look at him in the same way again. He also made his hands "have sex". FML

I agree, your life sucks

24747

You deserved it

2606

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By oh. - United States

Proof of love

Today, I flew cross-country to see my girlfriend of three years. Once I got there, she broke up with me. I was supposed to be staying for a month and now I have nowhere to go. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2388

You deserved it

148

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By pinky - Australia

Today, when setting up for a rehearsal, my eldest teacher was standing next to me. My music teacher announces that it will be a tight fit and hard for everyone to fit in the area. The old teacher next to me leans over and whispers, "I'd like to fit in your tight area." FML

I agree, your life sucks

33850

You deserved it

2832

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By bennyp77 - United States

Today, I was at a tennis match and it was really hot. I took off my shirt to cool down. A member of the staff then tapped me on the shoulder and told me that my "bare breasts might offend someone." I'm a man. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28904

You deserved it

15651

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By Rich - United States

Today, my parents gave me a shirt from Banana Republic for my birthday. It looked like one I had bought for myself a couple of days earlier but I thanked them and went to hang it in my closet. An empty hanger hung where I placed the shirt I had purchased. They gave me my shirt for my birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks

116872

You deserved it

5541

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By lil123 - Canada - Calgary

Today, my boyfriend wrote a song for me. As he was singing it to me I realized it was actually a breakup song. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34774

You deserved it

2706

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By JustplainSad - 15/8/2020 23:01

People are strange

Today, I found out my friend of 15 years, who cut off our weekly gaming group during Covid after a fight, is speaking to everyone but me. I wasn't even in the fight, I just checked in to see if he was OK after. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1380

You deserved it

143

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By Yudor - France

Today, my girlfriend told me that she woke up after yesterday’s party with someone else’s trousers. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26367

You deserved it

2414

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By lingadoo - Kuwait - Kuwait

Today, I thought I felt something itch my butt as I sat down on the toilet. Sure it was just my imagination, I did my business. When I was done I saw there were 4 cockroaches crawling under the seat. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31928

You deserved it

4830

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By Sad Sally - United States

Today, a therapist told me that I was too depressed to attend his depression group meetings. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33581

You deserved it

2954

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By jerk - United States

Today, my friend decided to come clean to his parents about his pot usage. He told them that he did it with me on many occasions. His parents decided it would be the right thing to call my parents. Thanks a lot asshole. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30539

You deserved it

66372

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By food critic - Australia - Ryde

Today, I saw my girlfriend's mother tagged at a restaurant, the same one I had suggested we try earlier in the week. At the time, she quickly shut me down because "that place sounds terrible". I guess she forgot that she finally added me on Facebook. FML

I agree, your life sucks

7654

You deserved it

577

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By tkr - United Kingdom

Today, I jokingly told my boyfriend that he should sing that song that goes 'I'm too sexy for my shirt' when we have sex. Now, every time that we have sex, that song is going to be stuck in my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks

9904

You deserved it

39773

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By checkup - United Kingdom - Redditch

Today, I finally hooked up with the girl of my dreams. We went back to her place, and I explored every inch of her body; luscious lips, hourglass curves, genital warts... The worst part was when she got angry when I refused to continue, shouting, "No wonder you're still a virgin!" FML

I agree, your life sucks

43092

You deserved it

5027

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By bcoper - United States

Today, I was in pain due to overdoing it at the gym yesterday, so I thought a hot shower might help. Not only was there no hot water because of my sister's hour long showers, but I slipped getting out and hit my head. Now the pain is worse. FML

I agree, your life sucks

25299

You deserved it

3246

Favorite

By NickC - Malaysia

Today, my girlfriend's parents wanted to cook dinner for me. After a whole day of cooking up a storm, her parents cooked an elaborate meal of roast lamb, pork chops and grilled chicken. Rejecting a meal is like spitting in ones face in Chinese culture. I'm vegetarian. FML

I agree, your life sucks

38067

You deserved it

14916

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By MartianTom - United States - Evanston

Today, the maintenance man for my building fixed my leaky sink. As he headed out the door, I said, "Thanks, Gus!" He turned around and said matter-of-factly, "My name is Eli." I've been addressing him as "Gus" for the past year and a half. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2804

You deserved it

1212

Favorite

By Anonymous

Today, I took my son to festival at a local church. He had a Nerf gun as part of his costume, but when I set it down to put something in my bag, someone walked off with it. We can't even go to a church function without running into thieves. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2523

You deserved it

252

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By lamesauce - Canada

Today, I went on a coffee date with a guy I'm interested in. He picked up his phone mid-date to finalize dinner plans with another girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks

42723

You deserved it

3038

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By newyorkers - United States - New York

Today, getting off a bus, it was pouring rain so I got my umbrella out. A man elbowed me in the gut and grabbed it. When I told my mom about it she said, "That's New York, get over it." FML

I agree, your life sucks

45833

You deserved it

5648

Favorite

By nicrus - Norway

Today, my girlfriend and her mother bought a hanger for my $2000 guitar as a birthday present. They wanted to surprise me by hanging it on the wall. They screwed it upside down, so before I came home it fell off and my guitar broke. FML

I agree, your life sucks

13399

You deserved it

735

Favorite

By Username - United States

Today, my best friend came over for dinner and a movie. Moments after arriving, she spent an hour on the phone, and ended up accepting another invitation before leaving. I guess it's dinner for one tonight. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29163

You deserved it

2595

Favorite

By hungry - United States

Today, I heard that there was supposed to be a huge blizzard heading our way, so I went out to stock up on groceries. After spending $600 on food, I drove home and packed most of it into the fridge and freezer just in time for our power to go out. FML

I agree, your life sucks

44539

You deserved it

26458

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I had to give a speech but I wasn't prepared. I decided to give it anyway. While giving the speech, I got so nervous I passed out. FML

I agree, your life sucks

24731

You deserved it

8539

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By failure - United States

Today, I went to a jeweler's to buy a ring to propose to my girlfriend. When I was at the restaurant, in mid-proposal, with people watching, I realized I had left the ring in the store. FML

I agree, your life sucks

37800

You deserved it

15744

Favorite

By funyfunkid - United States

Today, I saw a roach on my toilet. I thought it would be funny to pee on it. It jumped out, which scared me; I hit my head on the wall and started bleeding, then I peed all over me and the wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks

10111

You deserved it

47750

Favorite

By clumsyandhungry - United States

Today, we were closing the restaurant early. I begin mopping as a couple walks in. The lady slips and falls, and to avoid a lawsuit, we offer them free food. After they left, I slipped on the freshly mopped kitchen floor with dishes in my hands. I didn't get free food. FML

I agree, your life sucks

25842

You deserved it

8685

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By madbirthdaymomma - United States - Roswell

Today, I was hosting my daughter's thirteenth birthday party. One parent decided to stay at my house, the only parent to do so. The entire night she critiqued every decision I made, from the films to the cake. When it was time to open presents, her kid was the only one without one. FML

I agree, your life sucks

52685

You deserved it

4325

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Top comments

By Lobby_Bee | 17

#7595513 - Tuesday 6 February 2018 15:12

Just nod and agree. Then call your buddy tow truck driver and split the profit.

By pjsr | 32

#7591805 - Sunday 28 January 2018 0:36

Sometimes you just can’t fix stupid

COMMENTS

By pjsr | 32

#7591805 - Sunday 28 January 2018 0:36

Sometimes you just can’t fix stupid

warhammercasey | 7

#7595549 - Tuesday 6 February 2018 16:50

Just sometimes?

realjojo | 11

#7596221 - Thursday 8 February 2018 5:35

Because sometimes you can use the tire iron...

By Lobby_Bee | 17

#7595513 - Tuesday 6 February 2018 15:12

Just nod and agree. Then call your buddy tow truck driver and split the profit.

By GMSP | 18

#7595531 - Tuesday 6 February 2018 15:58

Did the man happen to be gay? If so this guy is just going for prank after prank.

Demon_of_Light | 27

#7595818 - Wednesday 7 February 2018 7:05

See example below for instructions on proper entry to the meta comment bonus round.

By thehaystackerine | 20

#7595534 - Tuesday 6 February 2018 16:05

$10 says it was one of those stupid fucking 4 door wranglers.

By RichardPencil | 29

#7595545 - Tuesday 6 February 2018 16:30

That’s hilarious! Can you give me the location so I can see that idiot on Google Earth?

By AzrielB | 8

#7595555 - Tuesday 6 February 2018 17:05

Was it several inches larger in diameter with off-road tread while the rest were road tires? Then the guy would be basically correct unless you want the steering pulling you off the road at 40 mph.

Pheonix91 | 15

#7595654 - Tuesday 6 February 2018 20:25

That is a possibility I hadn't considered, but still major stupidity on someone's part. A big offroading tire might look cool, but you need a functional spare on the vehicle. The driver is still an idiot either way.

By dedanjel | 33

#7595606 - Tuesday 6 February 2018 18:54

Clearly, their brain is just for decoration

By Luke16eirb7deneuwn1 | 20

#7595627 - Tuesday 6 February 2018 19:35

I always thought those kind of Idiots only exist when the item in question is a pc...

By acmariner99 | 24

#7595662 - Tuesday 6 February 2018 20:36

I need to stop thinking the human race can’t possibly get any dumber

RichardPencil | 29

#7595856 - Wednesday 7 February 2018 9:36

I think the trajectory of the human race is trending toward stupidity. We’re going to have to get reverse thesauruses all of the words that are now “awesome” or “literally.”

By Simi TheSimtown | 6

#7595811 - Wednesday 7 February 2018 6:51

YLS, but it's still funny