Love: Today, I saw a car on the side on the highway with a popped tire....

By anonymous - 04/09/2010 05:15 - United States

Today, I saw a car on the side on the highway with a popped tire. The driver didn't have a spare, so I nicely gave them mine. One hour later my tire popped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 766

You deserved it 8 033

Love

BO Central

Grammar police alert

The runs

By SkinsCastSelection - 17/01/2011 16:46 - France

Today, I was quietly reading in the subway, when all of a sudden, at a station, the man sitting next to me stood up, slapped me, yelled "Bitch!", and rushed off the train. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 536

You deserved it 3 689

By roo - 27/01/2011 16:48 - United Kingdom

Today, I was getting a flight home. I'd worn a belt because my skirt was too big. When I walked through security, they asked me to remove my belt. My skirt fell down in front of everyone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 859

You deserved it 13 380

By No one special. - 12/12/2010 05:28 - United States

Today, my dad called for the first time in six months. He needs someone to bail him out of jail. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 415

You deserved it 2 417

Oh, hello

By kikuhime - 17/01/2021 02:01

Today, I came early from my job, just to find my boyfriend in bed, with my dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 883

You deserved it 89

Denied!

By Hystcheria - 25/07/2021 02:01 - United States - Fredericksburg

Today, I told my long-distance boyfriend that I'd like to throw my legs over my head and have him cram his dick deep inside me. He told me to order a pizza, "It'd be more fun." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 044

You deserved it 184

By Anonymous - 08/11/2011 17:20 - United States

Today, after holding it in for hours, I finally managed to run to the bathroom for a pee. I thought it was impossible for rats to climb up the sewer pipes and into the toilet, but apparently I was wrong. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 811

You deserved it 2 721

By pistonsunshine - 10/10/2009 18:06 - United States

Today, I took a girl out I've been seeing for two months on our first real date. I had saved all my money for the week for this. I took her to a beautiful restaurant uptown. She got hammered, hit me and screamed that I would never be as good as "Marshall." FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 730

You deserved it 3 322

Tonight, on Grey's Anatomy…

By ygrowup2fast - 23/04/2020 17:00

Today, my wife wasn't feeling well. She called her doctor, who isn't seeing patients due to COVID. Had to take her to the ER. After numerous tests, they told her that her potassium levels were low. Diagnosis: eat a banana. When we get the bill(s) from the hospital, this will be the most expensive banana ever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 907

You deserved it 267

Not so wise, eh?

By itachi desu - 08/06/2018 20:30

Today, I got my wisdom teeth removed. While under the influence of the drugs, I tried to speak Japanese. Later, my Japanese roommate informed me that I was saying "I am a weasel" over and over again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 347

You deserved it 529

Frustration

By Anonymous - 15/06/2021 12:01 - United States - Aldie

Today, I found out I need surgery for a hernia that blew up after working out. I’ve been working out constantly to keep my mind off of my ex, who was the right person at the wrong time, and now I can’t even do that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 775

You deserved it 88

By Oblivious - 08/05/2009 19:39 - Kuwait

Today, I found out that my husband named our daughter after his favorite porn star. FML

I agree, your life sucks 155 694

You deserved it 16 189

By BabyButt - 09/04/2014 17:50 - United States - Honolulu

Today, I went on a date with my boyfriend to our local park, and I playfully climbed into one of the baby swings. I planned on having him push me, not getting stuck and having to be cut free from the seat while he laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 602

You deserved it 41 477

By babyboomerang - 12/05/2009 11:16 - United States

Today, I spent hours baking a multi-layered, detailed cake from scratch for my mom's birthday. It took two seconds for my dog to devour the cake while I picked up a spoon I dropped on the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 769

You deserved it 6 647

By Kortnie Peterman - 02/07/2018 05:00

Today, my boyfriend and I found out my Nuva ring comes out quite easily, especially when he manages to hook it around the tip of his dick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 182

You deserved it 440

By Ren - 28/12/2012 07:49 - United States - Medina

Today, I went shopping. At the counter, the cashier started flirting with me and asked me for my number. He was cute, so I gave it to him. After walking out of the store, I got a text that said, "I didn't want to say it out loud, but your pants are unzipped." FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 186

You deserved it 5 633

By Anonymous - 20/07/2010 16:29 - United States

Today, I found out my parents are getting divorced. They're fighting over the dog instead of my sister and me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 866

You deserved it 3 921

By mishie1 - 21/02/2012 12:44 - United States

Today, I received the first compliment from the opposite sex that I've gotten in months, from an elderly, cross-dressing man in the parking lot of Goodwill. Apparently my clothes look like they'd be "exciting to try on." FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 648

You deserved it 2 913

Questionable parenting

By Anonymous - 14/11/2021 05:00

Today, I found out my son is getting bullied. His stepdad doesn’t care, in fact he’s all for bullying because he thinks it will force my son to stop being smart, or "a dork" as he calls him, and fit in with the normal kids for a change. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 075

You deserved it 138

By Rynne S. - 13/03/2012 06:12 - United States

Today, I got my yearbook. My sister and I are identical twins, and we realized only my sister had a picture in it. When we asked the head of yearbook, they said they thought it was the same girl trying to get two pictures, so they put in the prettier one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 428

You deserved it 2 455

By Anonymous - 21/12/2012 14:22 - United States - Cottonwood

Today, I started my first day of work at our local humane society. I asked where the break room was, so my coworker directed me to a small room in the back of the building. The only place I get to take my lunch break is the same room where they euthanize, freeze and cremate the animals. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 870

You deserved it 7 892

By Anonymous - 23/01/2016 11:26 - United States - Brunswick

Today, my dog once again desperately tried to yank me straight into the path of a bus. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 947

You deserved it 2 276

Deliverude

By omfgwhywhywhy - 22/03/2020 19:18 - United States

Today, I had to take a delivery to a known hoarder. I was braced for the sight of the house, but not the naked fat guy and the smell of dead cat when he answered the door. To top it off, they didn't even tip me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 667

You deserved it 116

By CaoiiBieber - 17/07/2011 19:15 - Ireland

Today, I accidentally deep throated a fork. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 200

You deserved it 38 772

By yes, yes it does :( - 30/04/2014 21:11 - United States

Today, I was waiting on a Canadian tourist at work, and he bought some of the most expensive stuff on the menu. I was excited about maybe getting a big tip, so I casually said that in the USA, waiters make most of our money off tips. The guy just snorted, "Sucks to be American, eh?!" and left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 081

You deserved it 30 901

Domestic bliss

By Emma - 08/12/2015 17:23 - United States

Today, I had to hide the entire drawer of kitchen knives under my bed just to keep my mother from stabbing her cheating boyfriend, and slashing his tires. This happens more often than I'd like to admit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 206

You deserved it 1 561

By NotMacklemore - 13/02/2015 04:59 - Australia - Heidelberg

Today, I went to a thrift store and found heaps of clothes that I loved that fit me perfectly. Then I found a special distinctive dress. My dress. My dad had thrown away heaps of my clothes and I had to buy them all back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 500

You deserved it 3 083

By jarrettsorko - 23/08/2011 16:38 - Canada

Today, someone broke into my house. They stole my TV, DVD player and a few DVDs. However they only took about 2 out of 100 DVDs. Apparently that's how bad my taste is in movies. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 245

You deserved it 6 420

By why does the world hate me - 01/03/2016 06:23 - Canada - Toronto

Today, my sister got her car insurance quote in the mail. You would think it would go way up after being charged with reckless driving. It went up $1 per month. My insurance went up $100 per month after I tapped someone's bumper a year ago. I wasn't even charged. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 478

You deserved it 1 648

By im_a_mocker - 28/01/2009 23:35 - United States

Today, I decided to make a toaster scramble. I thought it was bad enough when the pastry fell through the grate in the toaster over. Then it burst into flames. After 5 minutes of fanning the smoke away from the smoke detector, it still went off. Now my entire dorm building is outside in a snowstorm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 248

You deserved it 5 867

By x_o - 04/08/2013 20:51 - Hungary - ?ttev?ny

Today, it was my first day at my new job. I had to break up two fistfights, then leave work early with a black eye. This is not what I had in mind when I applied to work at a retirement home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 181

You deserved it 3 846

By daddoesn'tknowbest - 13/10/2011 12:24 - United States

Today, I overheard my husband talking to our 6 year-old about animals for a project. I listened, thinking it was cute, until my husband said gleefully, "Remember to say this in your project: octopuses have 8 testicles." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 212

You deserved it 3 614

By Cup_of___ - 26/11/2009 16:23 - United States

Today, I walked into a liquor store and thought about inquiring for a job application. After seeing the cashier, I thought about inquiring if she was single. After accidentally breaking three bottles of liquor, I didn't do either. I left the store, still single and unemployed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 921

You deserved it 30 018

By holliefall - 02/06/2009 08:42 - United States

Today, I called Tech Support because the computer program wouldn't let me open files for my online classes. After an hour, and being walked through the downloading process multiple times. There was a pause and he said "You're a F*ing idiot." and hung up. It still won't work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 427

You deserved it 22 707

By anonymous - 20/02/2015 23:49 - United States - Paragould

Today, it was snowing but I had to let my dog out, so I picked him up and carried him outside. I slipped, landed on him and ended up breaking his leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 400

You deserved it 7 070

Cemetery Gates

By KateHGW - 09/06/2021 00:01

Today, I handed in an internship assignment that I have been working on for months. Once submitted, a pop-up showed, stating the assignment was 100% plagiarized. What was it plagiarized from? A student paper. My own, to be more specific - the exact same paper I had uploaded seconds before. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 107

You deserved it 58

By nacho - 24/01/2012 06:42 - United States

Today, my boyfriend met my dad for the first time. The first thing he said to him was, "You're an idiot for dating my daughter." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 016

You deserved it 4 318

By jgw - 07/04/2017 00:00

Today, I was certain that over the six years of struggling through my Ph.D., I had culminated in one truly original idea. Until I saw it published in another thesis, from 1953. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 668

You deserved it 668

By HttpsHaileyy - 15/06/2015 20:02 - United States

Today, I insulted my younger sister's hamster. She then smashed me with a stool. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 729

You deserved it 9 557

By Heart-Broken - 09/04/2015 01:58 - Canada - Richmond

Today, I was paired up with my long-term crush for a project. She introduced herself to me and asked if I was new this year. We've gone to the same school since kindergarten. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 809

You deserved it 3 578

By RjsBabe - 01/10/2016 06:14 - United States - Tulare

Today, after I got the birth control implant, waited a week like my doctor told me, my fiancé is still too scared that I'll get pregnant. It's been 2 months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 905

You deserved it 1 181

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Top comments

hug_the_wall 0

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Saturday 4 September 2010 16:32

wow. at least you were nice to the other guy?

Ancarnia 0

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Saturday 4 September 2010 16:32

that's how the universe repays you for kindness - punishment. i hope something good comes your way soon that doesn't have anything to do with tires.

johnledrew 0

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Saturday 4 September 2010 16:28

badass

imthatguythatdid 0

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Saturday 4 September 2010 16:30

damn tht sucks balls op

Stupified 0

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Saturday 4 September 2010 16:35

You must be very tired after a day like that.

slushpup9696 12

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Saturday 4 September 2010 16:36

Go Strokes! (in response to your profile pic)

bigbadtim 7

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Saturday 4 September 2010 16:37

Maybe you should retire?

nishant5456 0

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Saturday 4 September 2010 16:43

hmm it's alright but I moderated this!

IphonFML 6

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Saturday 4 September 2010 16:52

12, thats actually not funny and doesn't go well witg this FML

DivineGarden 0

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Saturday 4 September 2010 17:08

Karma sucks ballsack.

Tasanasanta 0

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Saturday 4 September 2010 17:55

why is this catagorized as love? Anywho, that's some class A irony right there.

SapphireSympathy 7

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Saturday 4 September 2010 18:38

lmao. that is some messed up karma! that sucks OP. Fyl

ronrich2 0

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Saturday 4 September 2010 19:28

no good deed goes unpunished

CableX17 0

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Saturday 4 September 2010 21:09

41- My words exactly

tazz9690 0

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Saturday 4 September 2010 21:59

no good deed goes unpunished

quent10 0

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Sunday 5 September 2010 3:58

eeeeeeeeeellllllllssssssszz

twinny_sc 13

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Sunday 5 September 2010 5:43

YDI for being nice.

champagne210 0

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Sunday 5 September 2010 6:40

oh bitter sweet irony how I love thee

KyriosX 1

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Monday 6 September 2010 4:48

rofl nice one

hug_the_wall 0

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Saturday 4 September 2010 16:32

wow. at least you were nice to the other guy?

Ancarnia 0

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Saturday 4 September 2010 16:32

that's how the universe repays you for kindness - punishment. i hope something good comes your way soon that doesn't have anything to do with tires.

starile 19

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Saturday 4 September 2010 17:47

Maybe it'll start raining tires! Then people would have plenty of spares! And.. many might die in the process... :/ Why did I think of that eventuality?

Hoogyme 0

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Sunday 5 September 2010 1:34

karma

Googoo27 12

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Monday 12 September 2011 17:08

...is a bitch

myguineapiglucy 0

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Saturday 4 September 2010 16:32

aw that sucks. you definatly didn't deserve that cuz u were bein helpful.

Ur_REmEdy 0

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Saturday 4 September 2010 16:33

thats wat u get for being nice

kevinz33 0

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Sunday 5 September 2010 5:20

heey

0H_s0_iiC3Y 0

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Saturday 4 September 2010 16:34

ah shit happens

rottentomatoes 7

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Saturday 4 September 2010 16:36

:L that's all i have

Graawr 7

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Saturday 4 September 2010 16:36

Sometimes doesn't is sucks to be nice? XD

Graawr 7

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Saturday 4 September 2010 16:52

*it sucks DX

Tasanasanta 0

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Saturday 4 September 2010 18:13

"DX" indeed

ThaZombie 0

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Saturday 4 September 2010 16:40

nice guys finish last

UHGG 0

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Saturday 4 September 2010 19:37

that's a great song

bjulie1998 5

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Monday 27 June 2011 5:09

It really is.

PeaceOutx24 0

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Saturday 4 September 2010 16:45

wow karma can be a bitch sometimes op

Fop 6

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Saturday 4 September 2010 16:50

You don't even know what karma is, do you? Idiot. @OP, YDI for mis-using the word "them." Please refrain from murdering languages in the future.

Stupified 0

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Saturday 4 September 2010 17:04

What if the driver was a two headed Siamese twin? Or if he/she was gender un-identafiable, it easier just to say they. Also the English language sucks, if I want to butcher it imma make me a nice English steak!