Today, I had to explain to my girlfriend once again that the dry skin she picks off her feet belong in the trash, not on our coffee table. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my wife complained that the coffee grounds I swept into the sink grossed her out. Yesterday, I removed several panty-liners from her soiled underwear before doing the laundry. FML
Today, I watched my boyfriend pick all the dead skin off of his feet, and then fling it at me. FML
Today, I had to explain to my girlfriend that it’s weird to defecate into your hand and throw it from the shower into the toilet. FML
Today, I told my mom that the puppy she was cuddling had a piece of dried poo stuck to its butt. Her reaction was to pluck the poo with her bare hands, put it on the coffee table next to my food, and continue cuddling. FML
Today, my girlfriend got pissed when I told her she needed to brush her teeth more than once a day. I could smell her breath from across the bed. FML
Today, my housemate whined at me for tracking dirt into the house, saying how she shouldn't have to mop the floor after me, and that we have a doormat for a reason. She'd have a point, except I always walk barefoot indoors. FML
Today, my girlfriend caught me picking my nose and eating the booger. FML
Today, I watched my husband pick his dead foot skin and say, "That's a keeper!" before putting it in his mouth. FML
Today, my girlfriend caught me using my T-shirt as a tissue. Again. FML
Today, I was getting a pedicure when the woman sitting next to me asked the lady if she could take the skin she had scraped off my feet home to her birds, because "they love skin." She then described for 20 minutes how her birds love to sit on her when her sunburn is peeling and eat her skin. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
tacojauns 45
At least she's not eating them?
liv_graham 7
buy her a pumice stone and a garbage can
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (84)
whY402Jay 12
As I have told many souls before, "most people never grow up, they just get older," because we carry a lot of weird baggage around.
DCHCA 1
How grosse.....she needs help
StayatHomeSon 9
That's disgusting
ev831 2
YDI because you're still with her.
TheBrochure 22
Yes! And I got mine to vacuum the trunk of my car while driving!
maplehax 9
This reminds me of one of my friends, who likes to eat dead skin / scabs off the bottom of his foot. My friends and I actually got a picture of him biting it: http://i.imgur.com/db8DleR.jpg
yzzami 17
Ugh. Foot flakes are nasty
gracefs 11
This made me dry heave considerably.
graciehowells 7
Eeeewwwww
aimbug 42
That is gross