Today, I had to explain to my girlfriend once again that the dry skin she picks off her feet belong in the trash, not on our coffee table. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my wife complained that the coffee grounds I swept into the sink grossed her out. Yesterday, I removed several panty-liners from her soiled underwear before doing the laundry. FML
Today, I watched my boyfriend pick all the dead skin off of his feet, and then fling it at me. FML
Today, I had to explain to my girlfriend that it’s weird to defecate into your hand and throw it from the shower into the toilet. FML
Today, I told my mom that the puppy she was cuddling had a piece of dried poo stuck to its butt. Her reaction was to pluck the poo with her bare hands, put it on the coffee table next to my food, and continue cuddling. FML
Today, my girlfriend got pissed when I told her she needed to brush her teeth more than once a day. I could smell her breath from across the bed. FML
Today, my housemate whined at me for tracking dirt into the house, saying how she shouldn't have to mop the floor after me, and that we have a doormat for a reason. She'd have a point, except I always walk barefoot indoors. FML
Today, my girlfriend caught me picking my nose and eating the booger. FML
Today, I watched my husband pick his dead foot skin and say, "That's a keeper!" before putting it in his mouth. FML
Today, my girlfriend caught me using my T-shirt as a tissue. Again. FML
Today, I was getting a pedicure when the woman sitting next to me asked the lady if she could take the skin she had scraped off my feet home to her birds, because "they love skin." She then described for 20 minutes how her birds love to sit on her when her sunburn is peeling and eat her skin. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
tacojauns 45
At least she's not eating them?
liv_graham 7
buy her a pumice stone and a garbage can
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (84)
HowieDoIt 21
She just wanted some more flakes for her cereal.
9lashes 15
*shudders violently*
NurseJonathan 9
Shuttering can get violent? Oh geez. We better warn people before it starts killing people.
Jessiegirl122 7
Congrats you're the first commentor to make me gag!
clemsi 20
I think I can top that....I ped egg my feet because my heels are really dry and cracked, and before I throw the shavings out I dump them in an ashtray to see which pile is bigger. Normally my right foot wins.
MuseFan1991 14
there was no need for that
paulbrec 11
That is really gross.
9lashes 15
Thanks for pointing that out! I couldnt find out why this was an FML seemed normal to me -_-
mattlw 25
Pedegg. One easy payment of 19.99 plus s+h!
possy 19
Revenge!! Get Pringles, eat all but the last three chips, collect said dry skin, put in with chips, the leave on coffee table. Your trap is set.. Now sit back and wait with camera to record your results.
BlueFlatts 20
Nobody can leave 3 chips. Unfortunately, that's not what's wrong with this comment.
BVBarmy_girl 22
First thought it read: "...not in our coffe" - So at least it could be worse c: Still, FYL OP!
kasfire 16
just be glad that she isnt tryinh to eat it. that is a little worse i think. dont get me wrong... what she is doing is still gross *shudders*
maz95 17
How can someone become that comfortable and unhygienic? That would definitely just put me off the person.
drizzy11 18
OP, that's gross..
NurseJonathan 9
Might be why it's on FML.
Enslaved 38
Next gift idea. Get her one of those pedicures where the fish eat her feet's dead skin and then go get sushi afterward. :P
raesos91 26
flaky feet is one thing.. but having a ****** looking back at you is just..
NurseJonathan 9
No. Just attach googly eyes to the fish.
olpally 33
So gross... DAFUQ?? Teach her some good hygiene skills. That's just ******* disgusting. Burn them with fire!
etishuman22 32
This is not Reddit. Killing it with fire does not work here.
olpally 33
Thanks buzz killington. I'm never on reddit. FYI. Jeeze.