Love: Double dump

Double dump

By dumped - 10/03/2011 21:42 - Canada

Today, my girlfriend haltingly dumped me over the phone. Faint splashes punctuated her grunting, straining sounds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 517

You deserved it 4 023

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 13/05/2015 17:20 - Canada - Qu?bec

Today, my girlfriend of 3 years broke up with me by taping a breakup note to my doorstep and ding-dong-ditching me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 939

You deserved it 2 772

By musicyman55 - 19/12/2009 07:48 - United States

Today, my girlfriend who I love very deeply dumped me two times, over the phone. The first time was to dump me. She then called me back a couple hours later explicitly to dump our friendship. I was just friend dumped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 654

You deserved it 3 051

By CHStennis_4 - 03/09/2011 04:48 - United States

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. Because she farted, and thought it was "too awkward". FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 297

You deserved it 3 863

By fucklife - 16/04/2013 18:13 - United States - Washington

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because she heard me say "love you" on the phone. I was talking to my mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 521

You deserved it 5 203

It's for the best

By yesguysgetabusedtoo - 24/05/2013 23:42 - New Zealand - Papamoa

Today, my girlfriend had someone else dump me via text message. I knew it wasn't her because for once I wasn't being viciously insulted, and it wasn't written as if an illiterate baboon had taken a shit all over her keypad. I can't even feel happy about being rid of her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 612

You deserved it 6 946

By kukadaman - 15/03/2010 06:19 - United States

Today, I came home to hear my girlfriend break up with me, over the answering machine, with my entire family in the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 615

You deserved it 2 387

By whysheheartless - 03/11/2009 07:24 - United States

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. By making out with her new boyfriend in front of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 885

You deserved it 3 060

By dharp7 - 16/11/2011 05:23 - United States

Today, my girlfriend dumped me. Her exact words used were "I like the idea of you, but I don't like you." I still don't know what that means. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 086

You deserved it 3 764

By Afroman720 - 27/07/2015 18:55 - United States

Today, my girlfriend dumped me because her dog "told her to". FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 760

You deserved it 2 887

By ddll - 05/09/2011 01:27 - Singapore

Today, I broke up with my girlfriend. She responded by sitting on the floor, crying like a baby and screaming "WHY?" at strangers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 297

You deserved it 12 322

Gurljuice 0

Friday 11 March 2011 0:02

She doubled her relief

sassypants93 17

Friday 11 March 2011 0:02

That sounds like she got a big dumping in more ways than one.

Comments

undeadqueen528 0

Friday 11 March 2011 9:34

yeah pooping and cheating at the sametime would be a clevland steamer!!!

fizzypop14 3

Friday 11 March 2011 13:01

girls don't poop

Cloudmaker 3

Friday 11 March 2011 13:39

HA! multitasking, love it

underpaid011 0

Friday 11 March 2011 14:27

a double dump! a dump while taking a dump! or maybe the dump just reminded her of you, or the relationship. either way, it sucks to get flushed.

JackieTropics 0

Friday 11 March 2011 15:10

Yikes man

keipher09 1

Friday 11 March 2011 17:12

jeez this is not an English class hahaha

khaya 9

Friday 11 March 2011 17:33

She is a true winner dumping you and getting laid at the same time.

04VWR32 6

Friday 11 March 2011 18:09

what?

dougierocks 13

Friday 11 March 2011 18:10

where did you take her for dinner last night?

baseballgirl25 6

Friday 11 March 2011 18:17

ur better off without her. she sounds like a bitch.

Keywords

Embarrassing Love Awkward Family Weddings Public freakouts Bodyshaming AITA Cops Transportation Cars Kids Sexism Relatable Work Health Mental health Growing old Animals Cats Periods Job interview Education Stalker Instagram Social Media Ironic Phobias Spiders Bikes

The Top

Today, I'm a graduate of a wealthy public school in So Cal. It astonishes me how many of my classmates don’t see a problem with today’s politicians, or gas, rent, and food prices. I was given shelter but had to earn everything I had growing up. I knew I wasn’t crazy though they acted like I was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 383

You deserved it 106

Today, I parked and noticed a car that was identical to mine across from me. I thought it was an amusing coincidence until I came back to find both cars trashed. At least the vandal realized their mistake and left a note saying, "You deserve it for having the same car as that cheater, asshole!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 413

You deserved it 2 826

The Top

Today, at nine months pregnant, I stopped at a truckstop to use the restroom. I opened an unlocked stall door and stood face to face with a woman bent over wiping. She let out a scream so blood-curdlingly loud, that I wet myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 862

You deserved it 118

Today, I watched a video of the absolute dumbest and most dangerous TikTok trends, and I practically lost all my faith in humanity. Then, when I remembered that almost all of these people are/were around my age (I'm eighteen), and whatever faith in humanity I had left after watching the video completely vanished. FML

I agree, your life sucks 716

You deserved it 257

Today, I noticed that my clothes had shrunk. My mother seemed to be having trouble with the new washer and dryer so I tried to show her exactly how they work. After my explanation she said, "I know how they work. I shrank your clothes to give you some incentive to lose all that belly you got." FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 885

You deserved it 7 663

Today, I was rushed to the emergency room for severe facial rashes. My boyfriend and I then found out I'm allergic to seminal fluid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 339

You deserved it 194

Today, I showed my friend all the dirty messages and dick pics her boyfriend had sent me. I included the ones of me telling him to stop. Instead of being mad at him, she flipped out on me, saying it’s my fault because I “dress too sexy” and he shouldn’t even have my number. He got it from her phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 633

You deserved it 192

Today, I felt sick at work and tried to run to the bathroom with my hand covering my mouth, but saw a garbage can and removed my hand to let it loose. I forgot to remove my mask. FML

I agree, your life sucks 933

You deserved it 212

Double dump

Same thing different taste

It's for the best

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