Today, while having sex for our first time, my boyfriend decided to test out a theory he heard about, that conversation during sex makes it more enjoyable. His way of doing it? He looked me straight in the eye and asked, "How 'bout them Brewers?" We're from Wisconsin. That's our local sports team. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. All of the sudden, he whispered in my ear, "Do you want to hear a Minecraft joke?" FML
Today, I was at a restaurant with my boyfriend. I look him straight in the eye and ask him: "What's the first thing you think about when you look at me?". His answer: "Can I finish my steak?" FML
Today, while getting intimate with my boyfriend, I thought he went to change the music on his phone. He'd actually stopped mid-action just to check sports scores. FML
Today, while my boyfriend and I were watching TV, I asked him if he loved me. He turned up the volume. FML
Today, on a movie date with my boyfriend, it took me a while to understand why he was leaning on his elbow during the entire thing. He had an earpiece cupped in his hand and was listening to a soccer match. FML
Today, I was sitting on my boyfriend's lap and we were hanging out, talking, and enjoying each other's company. Then he looked into my eyes and right when I thought he was going to kiss me, he said, "I can feel your heartbeat on my dick." FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. Afterwards we went to Applebee's for dinner, then after we'd ate I asked, "How was it?" he says, "It was terrible", to which I said, "The food was that bad?" He replies, "No, the sex". FML
Today, I was at a baseball game. This kid in front of me had binoculars and was constantly shouting. Trying to amuse the girl next to me, I leaned over and said, "That kid probably has wet dreams about baseball." She got up and said to the kid, "Come on honey, we're leaving." FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting it on in his room. In a sexy voice, I asked him, "What are you thinking right now?" He replied, "I'm thinkin' Arby's." FML
Today, in the middle of having sex with my boyfriend, instead of saying something sexy, he decided to tell me that the bowling alley had a new air hockey table. FML
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Top comments
bmadd 0
don't act like you didn't enjoy it
nateball 0
Yeah, that sounds like a Wisconsin person. he should have been doing you in the ass and said how about them Packers. now then it wood have made sense.
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Comments (172)
aardvarkish 17
For this FML: ask whether he's heard about the new Stay-Free.
booored 0
14 - your cute(:
selenagirl_fml 0
complete turn off huh?
randomlettrrs 8
23 ur hot
selenagirl_fml 0
thx. I see where you get your name lol "random"
XxXMetalChicXxX 0
f your life for being from Wisconsin, cheesehead
slushpup9696 12
stfu
nateball 0
Yeah, that sounds like a Wisconsin person. he should have been doing you in the ass and said how about them Packers. now then it wood have made sense.
tpike1296 11
haha...."wood" LOL!
icertainlysuck 0
best comment ever lol
mleighxOx 1
asy way to stop that act like a stupid blonde be like omg that's sexy kiss him start a crazy hot make out session and get on with the sex while making out then bam done time to leave
xXLenaXx 0
*brain explodes* When you talk in real life, do you make pauses? Ever? :P
marylovesyou8D 7
woahhhh you sorta look like amber from Teen Mom...
Angelita_tita 0
52 I agree, I was annoyed wile reading it.xP
squirrels_FTW 3
yep, good sex..............NOT!!
joeinthedark 18
He was probably thinking about baseball so he would last longer.
armybarbie 1
29 = win
perdix 31
You should have waited until winter and the dirty talk would have focused on ice fishing. I'm sure all that talk about drilling the hole and spearing fish would provide hot double entendres!
Silkie 0
Don't forget sticking the fishing rod in the hole ;)